ForceUser
Explorer
So we're starting a new campaign and I get this character description from my buddy Hjorimir. This is exactly why I play D&D. It cracked me up, and was so entertaining that I wanted to share it with the rest of you.
Nye the Sly…
…is always forming his next get-rich-quick scheme.
…has often traveled as a wandering friar collecting money for the poor when between schemes. "Brother Wilk is the name! All hail that one god who we worship around here! Psst! Hey kid, who do you all worship around here? Pelor? All hail Pelor the good god!"
…is immature and downright childish at times, he whines a lot.
…can be pretty cocky at times and will sometimes do foolish things to prove himself to others.
…thinks women love him much more than they really do. "I’m a ladies' man!"
…sharked a young noble out of his [+1 glamered] magical coat in a game of dice.
…swiped his [+1] buckler from a crowded tavern during a fight and ran out the backdoor.
…keeps on the move to avoid legal problems (it isn’t that he is wanted or anything, he just makes sure he leaves before there is near enough evidence to want him in the first place).
…is not above manipulating the situation to fill his own pockets, even if his friends need to shoulder new responsibilities (he would, for example, hire out the party for some dangerous task without even consulting them and may even forget to pay them for their hard work). "Umm, I told them you’d kill the ogres outside of town. Well it seemed like the good thing to do at the time! Pay? Hrmm…I don’t recall…ouch! Yeah, now that I’m thinking on it they did mention something about a reward. Sheesh, I was going to tell ya!"
…will often wander about town seeking opportunities and embroiling his companions in all sorts of troubles they’d rather avoid.
…gets bored easily, which is a good time to stir up some adventure! "What kind of name is that for a barbarian? You don’t look so tough! Why I know this guy that would tear you apart! Yeah, he’s standing over there; he’s never lost a fight or anything! Well there was that time we got hit by a wyvern, but we hocked his armor and got him rai…never mind that! He’s standing right over there. Hey, anybody want odds? I dunno, that barbarian looks pretty mean and that’s a big sword he has. How about 2 to 1 on the other guy. No? How about 2 to 2? What do you mean you’ve never heard of 2 to 2? Wow, this is a small town. Well, it works like this: first, you give me twice your bet…"
…can be something of a craven (even though he’s a pretty mean knife fighter).
…will make jokes at bad situations (it is one of the ways he copes with his own fears).
…isn’t above begging. – Please don’t hurt me! It wasn’t my fault! Show mercy!
…seems comical enough that people can forget he is dangerous.
…is thin and has a wiry build; even down to his thin head.
…lies out of habit.
…often talks to himself out loud; if questioned on it, he says he’s speaking with the gods because only they understand him.
…runs for the help of his companions at a moment’s notice. They are far better equipped to handle those kinds of situations.
…is weak-willed and often uses that as an excuse.
…was raised in the Sun Seeker’s orphanage of Pelor’s church, which has instilled an odd respect for the gods in an otherwise spiritually bankrupt individual.
Nye the Sly…
…is always forming his next get-rich-quick scheme.
…has often traveled as a wandering friar collecting money for the poor when between schemes. "Brother Wilk is the name! All hail that one god who we worship around here! Psst! Hey kid, who do you all worship around here? Pelor? All hail Pelor the good god!"
…is immature and downright childish at times, he whines a lot.
…can be pretty cocky at times and will sometimes do foolish things to prove himself to others.
…thinks women love him much more than they really do. "I’m a ladies' man!"
…sharked a young noble out of his [+1 glamered] magical coat in a game of dice.
…swiped his [+1] buckler from a crowded tavern during a fight and ran out the backdoor.
…keeps on the move to avoid legal problems (it isn’t that he is wanted or anything, he just makes sure he leaves before there is near enough evidence to want him in the first place).
…is not above manipulating the situation to fill his own pockets, even if his friends need to shoulder new responsibilities (he would, for example, hire out the party for some dangerous task without even consulting them and may even forget to pay them for their hard work). "Umm, I told them you’d kill the ogres outside of town. Well it seemed like the good thing to do at the time! Pay? Hrmm…I don’t recall…ouch! Yeah, now that I’m thinking on it they did mention something about a reward. Sheesh, I was going to tell ya!"
…will often wander about town seeking opportunities and embroiling his companions in all sorts of troubles they’d rather avoid.
…gets bored easily, which is a good time to stir up some adventure! "What kind of name is that for a barbarian? You don’t look so tough! Why I know this guy that would tear you apart! Yeah, he’s standing over there; he’s never lost a fight or anything! Well there was that time we got hit by a wyvern, but we hocked his armor and got him rai…never mind that! He’s standing right over there. Hey, anybody want odds? I dunno, that barbarian looks pretty mean and that’s a big sword he has. How about 2 to 1 on the other guy. No? How about 2 to 2? What do you mean you’ve never heard of 2 to 2? Wow, this is a small town. Well, it works like this: first, you give me twice your bet…"
…can be something of a craven (even though he’s a pretty mean knife fighter).
…will make jokes at bad situations (it is one of the ways he copes with his own fears).
…isn’t above begging. – Please don’t hurt me! It wasn’t my fault! Show mercy!
…seems comical enough that people can forget he is dangerous.
…is thin and has a wiry build; even down to his thin head.
…lies out of habit.
…often talks to himself out loud; if questioned on it, he says he’s speaking with the gods because only they understand him.
…runs for the help of his companions at a moment’s notice. They are far better equipped to handle those kinds of situations.
…is weak-willed and often uses that as an excuse.
…was raised in the Sun Seeker’s orphanage of Pelor’s church, which has instilled an odd respect for the gods in an otherwise spiritually bankrupt individual.
