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Memoirs, Musings and Transitions...


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Hey all,

Well, things have been going a lot better as of late (and reading over that OP, BOY was I ever melodramatic, but I felt better afterwards, so :)).

I finished my extra half-year of highschool that I needed to snag some University prereq-courses, culminating with a huge research paper for English, for which I was supposedly working on for three months - and it was in lieu of me doing an English Exam (so, worth 30% of my course mark). That puppy, I did on a Sunday night, with it due on Monday morning second period. Just got the mark back the other day, and it was 85%! It was a comparitive essay on two works (in my case LOTR by Tolkien, and A Short History of Progress by Ronald Wright) and how their subject matter, mainly the enviromental impact of humanity, was important, how it compared, blah blah blah. I'll attach a copy of it, actually - have a read, it's only 6 pages, double spaced; I actually found this was a very interesting project)

Other than that, my latest girlfriend broke up with me on my birthday, which sucked, but an ex stayed the night and good times abounded (nothing full-blown per se, but :cool: ) so that day was a bit bi-polar. I'm still :):):):)ed up over everything that happened there (my gf cheated on me, and then broke up with me, and the ex isn't talking to me right now, despite us being really good friends) but I think things will sort themselves out. We'll see :)

I need to get my :):):):) together for Early Admission for Uni, which ends March 1st. That's pretty intimidating, but I'll get my :):):):) together - hell, that English paper mentioned above shows me what I can do when pushed.

My dad and I are slowly reconciling. I moved out of his house 3 years ago, when I was 16, and into my grandmothers (my dad was a an abusive parent, and I hated him for a long time becasue of that). But, things are getting good in the commmunication department. It just kinda sucks that we had to waste 3 years to get to a normal father-son relationship, but I think that there is some hope here, and since my mom is dead, I really want to hold on to my heritage; it's important on a level which is more important than our feud. But, as with anything, we'll see.

Right now though, I am just trying to stay out of everything. I'm sick of dealing with :):):):), of conforming to womans' standards (no offense to any ladies out there, it's just something I'm going through right now with dating) and just everything. There is this one girl who'd I'd die to date, but she's taken right; heck she's getting an apartment with her boyfriend next year, so for now I'll just be a good friend to her, and keep on doing what I'm doing. Infact, that's what I'm trying to do in a oot of cases, just be a good friend to people and be there for them. It's fairly rewarding.

For my band, I'm buying my mic ASAP, as soon as I can cash my paycheck tomorrow, and things are looking up. There's a guy from my work, Jeff (this is THE MAN who got me into death, thrash, black, power and symphonic metal), who plays bass and guitar, and since we need a bass player, might jam with the band and even become a full-time member once things get rolling. Ben and Derek are my other two friends and fellow co-founders of the band, and Ben has a cousin, Josh, who plays drums. Josh doesn't have a st right now, but he is one of the top drummers from the highschool of 1200+ where I went to, which is saying something. So, the foundation is laid; although the name A Slave Unchained might not be permanent, as me, Ben and Dirk (as we call him) think we can better than that.

Yeah, so is there a consensus on whether I should start blogging, or what? :p

cheers,
--N
 

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Sounds great. It seems to me like you have the right approach to life. Learn what you can, the best you can, and keep going forward.

Everyone who "fails" is someone who gave up (or has legitimate mental health problems that are hard to beat or at least master).

Since it looks like you have realized that when life knocks you down, you can lay down for a little while, but you have to get back up, I agree. I think you'll do just fine as long as you keep remembering to get back up and go at it again.

Good luck with your father. Hopefully his abusiveness was/is due to a lot of immaturity and self serving greed with a heavy dose of self centeredness, period. That can be "outgrown", and hopefully your father is becoming one of the few that do.

If he doesn't, at least you'll know you tried. That will comfort you at some point, if things fail between you.

Just keep going. Its the only way you get to see the next beautiful day.
 

I pretty much agree with Treebore. I'm glad to hear things are doing better with you.

Also, don't worry about being melodramatic (the term I'm fond of is emo). Everyone is there at multiple times in their life. Sometimes it's better just to get it out there.

I don't really have an opinion one way or the other about blogging, but I will say that at my lowest point, simply writing helped me a lot. I'm not talking little girl journal-type stuff, but generally just stopping for a half hour or an hour and thinking, and writing those thoughts down. I'm a relatively private, introverted person, and I don't like to share my problems (for a couple of reasons), and writing allowed me to actually make those into something tangible, as opposed to thoughts in my head. Every now and again I go back and read them as well... sometimes I think I sounded like an idiot, but a lot of times I'll look back on harder times and still read things that are really inspirational. Also, a lot of times I'll read through stuff and actually realize things I didn't before about myself. Anyway, it helped me a lot to do that, and I did it on a fairly regular basis, and still do, so I guess in that aspect I recommend you try it. I mean, it can't hurt, so why not?
 

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