[Meta-Troll]

[Dannyalcatraz]

Posts a long-winded rant about how there will be an inevitable change to the riddle-scene ending wherein doves fly by in slow motion as Bilbo draws his 9mms from his pockets and blazes away at Gollum while diving to the side screaming, "This is what I had in my pockets, b*tch!"

That would be more John Singleton & John Woo than Spike Lee & John Woo...

In a Spike Lee film, Bilbo would ask- with aggression- why Gollum thinks he has the right to question a Hobbit from the Shire...when Gollum reveals his former "Hobbitude," Bilbo would be distressed and shocked (in extreme, fish-eye closeup)...THEN drawing his 9mms from his pockets and blazes away at Gollum while diving to the side screaming something about "doing the right thing."

Soundtrack by Anthrax & Public Enemy- breakout single from the CD: "Fight the Sauron."

 

[barsoomcore]

Wanders into the thread with his first and only post, calls everyone on EnWorld a bunch of geeks of questionable sexuality, declares that he shall beat to death anyone who challenges him, asks for directions on how to play, admits he has unusual and troubling feelings about his father's livestock, complains that he can't find a girlfriend, asks if gaming really allows one to talk with the devil and how that's working out for everyone, admits to being not very popular in Middle School, and that he still wets the bed.

Apologises to everyone for Dad's behaviour. Promises to never let Dad touch the computer again.

 

[barsoomcore]

Teenage girls are raping the food from his grandmother's mouth.

Mentions that Great-Grandma's been dead for forty years, Dad. Then wonders what teenage girls Dad's been hanging with.

 

[James Heard]

Mentions that the poster is a teenage girl, watches thread devolve further into several pages of gamers proclaiming they don't have a problem with teenage female gamers, with addresses, home phone numbers, and passport photos, promising to show aforementioned female gamers "a good time" if they'd only come to their game Sunday. Several long time gamers dismiss the notion that there are such animals as female gamers entirely, citing previous poster's father as an example of what happens when gamers and women mix, many posters proclaim they are in fact female gamers, and call for bans on chauvenist gamers in previous thread. Thread goes ominously silent for several hours when one female poster posts a picture of her Wookie.

 

[Shade]

 

[Agent Oracle]

Marvels... then makes a mildly dumb comment about something incredibly obvious.

 

[Tolen Mar]

OMFG!

She shaved her wookie!

 

[Dragonbait]

We need more funny photos on this board...

and to get back to the tollishness..
Directly links this thread to SomethingAwful and gets banned on both.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

She shaved her wookie!

She did it all for the wookie! (Wha?) The wookie! (Wha?) The wookie!

 

[Imruphel]

Simply declares that several of the previous posts are gay.

The anti-homophobe lobby steps out in force to complain about my use of the word "gay" in such a context.