There has been a few threads on monks in the last 2 months.
Here are MY guidlines to making an effective use of the class. I take it that you have OA and you can change out Stunning Fist, Deflect Arrows, & Improved trip for other martial arts feats (listed on a side bar I don't have my book with me). Plus you can multiclass freely. The multiclassing restriction is for flavor according to designers NOT game balance.
I would not waste a feat on Weapon finesse. The two biggest drawbacks to the class is lack of DM support, and stat dependance. DM's should make a effort to support this class with magic in line with the other characters.
I would put your two highest scores in STR and WIS. You still get your WIS AC bonus when you are flatt footed, and monks ranged weapons are pathetic so dex is really only going to effect your ac and ranged shots and it's easier to loos your DEX AC bonus.
Monks also don't usually hit hard so STR is a big help, Plus it effects your HIT and DAMAGE rolls not just your HIT rolls if you go the high DEX + Weapon Finesse (Unarmed) route. There are no feats to increase your avarage damage on every hit (for a monk anyway).
I would put my 3rd highest stat in CON Help you survive the first few fights.
A big bonus Monks get is in grappling. If you take improved grapple you can start a grapple without provoking an AoO. A High STR is going to help here to pin and cause damage. I would then take Earths Embrace then Choke Hold. If you dump Stunning Fist, and Deflect Arrows you can have all 3 feats by 3rd level. This will work well against humanoids but is more difficult against monsters larger than you. But you do very nice damage against many foes. If you take you 4th feat as Improved Coup De Gras (what ever the official name is), your choke hold will be VERY deadly. With these feats when you pin you do double damage (earths embrace, triple if you crit), they must make a save for choke hold, if they fail they are helpless and you CdG as a standard action. IF You add expert tactician in here when they are knocked out from the Choke Hold you get an extra partial you can make your CdG in. Very nasty. But it doesn't work will with low STR.
I would put improved Initiative in there soon this helps you
stay alive. Another good combo is Improved Initiative, Expert Tactician, Unbalancing Strike. This allows you to get an extra attack if you fight anything that is flat footed, and if youhit with an unarmed attack they have to make a REF save or Loose Dex to AC which lets you continue to make an extra attack. This is where high STR will come in handy. I would take Weapon focus Unarmed Strike as the 4th feat. Lets you hit more offten.
Both chains highlight the monks strengths, Best Grapling class in game (Wizard killer) and Multiple attacks. The more times you roll the more you are likely to hit. The biggest combat draw back most people seem to have with a monk is when they go for High dex and weapon finesse. It wastes a feat, and does not help with damage. You may be able to hit a little more offten but you can't do much damage.
Get items that increase your STR, WIS, DEX, and an Amulate of Magic Fang. Don't bother with Boots of Cheat (S&S) you don't need them. Spend the 6,000 gp on an amulate.
-D