Most amusing line in a game book?

[Henry]

Thanee mentioned Tales from the Floating Vagabond, and it used to be a big favorite with me. Some of its skills included "Hurt People," (the brawl skill), "Hurt People Really badly," (the martial arts skill) and "Target Vomiting" (which is exactly what it sounds like). Size categories for items (which definitely predates 3rd edition D&D) include things like "really big gun, Oh my god that's huge, and Don't Point That at My Planet!

And the Shticks each character had could range from the Arnold Effect (you don't feel wounds until you're dead), to the Rambo Effect (all weapons fired at you from close range have a HUGE chance of missing), to the Roy Rogers effect (you do trick shots effortlessly, but you can't kill someone by shooting them), and so on.

The winner to me is still Fashan, though, which is crammed with stuff so insane you just have to laugh out loud, made worse by the idea that the author was serious.... the default setting is "Boosboodle, a land just south of where Melvin is standing now." Truth, is indeed stranger than fiction.

 

[Kid Charlemagne]

-The cartoons in the 1e DMG were pretty good. ("Don't move or the familiar gets it!"
-The set-up for the first Desert of Desolation module was pretty amusing, as the one guys reads of a list of things the PC's have been set up for, mostly involving the Lord Chamberlain, one wench too many, and short-sheeting his bed.
-The Diaglo reference in the Wilderlands boxed set
-The invisible stalker artwork in 2nd edition. Complete with credits!

 

[Kid Socrates]

While I can't remember an exact offhand (as I am at work), the World of Warcraft RPG books occasionally have bits written by Brann Bronzebeard, dwarven explorer extraordinaire, and I believe he blames the entire Undead Scourge on the necromancer Kel'Thuzad's lack of luck with the ladies.

 

[Pbartender]

-The cartoons in the 1e DMG were pretty good. ("Don't move or the familiar gets it!"

My favorite was always...

"Well either it allows a magic-user to throw the various Bigby's hand spells or it's a +2 backscratcher. So far we're not sure…"

 

[Aeson]

Yep. HōL (Human Occupied Landfill). Pretty much the entire book, and all the supplements. Doubly so for the line about the orcs.

I've heard of Hol. I've even seen the rule book but when I mention it to other gamers they've never heard of it. Now I have a link to show them. Thank you.

 

[Klaus]

Tome of Horrors 3.0. There's a slaad lord whose real form is that of a 10' tall salad.

Bless ya, Mike my buddy, for missing that typo.

 

[Hypersmurf]

It's been years since I read it, but the mere awareness that the 1E Dungeon Master's Guide had a table to give a detailed description about exactly what kind of prostitute the party randomly encounters in cities has always amused me.

-Hyp.

 

[VirgilCaine]

GURPS 4th edition:

Killjoy: The Killjoy disadvantage, appropriately enough, keeps you from feeling pleasure.

"Some ultra-tech societies might use surgery to inflict this stte as a form of punishment! If so, you won't plot your revenge...because there won't be any pleasure in it."

Literacy levels:
"Semi-Literacy is a written comprehension level of Broken. A semi-literate person would require three mintures to read this sentence, and would have to make an Intelligence roll to understand the full meaning! Many words are always unintelligible to a semi-literate person, including some in this paragraph."

Hemophilia: There is a illustration of a young black man holding a bandage to his bleeding arm on the same page as this disadvantage. He has an earring in his left ear.

This contradiction has led me and my brother to state, in the manner of Dr. House, "Hemophiliac with an earring? Yeah, he lives on the edge!"


My 3.0 DMG lists the "dig" spell as the prerequisite for creating the Mattock of the Titans (I guess that's Cloud Giant magic for you--always behind the times!).

 

[Olaf the Stout]

-The Diaglo reference in the Wilderlands boxed set

Where is this? I have the Wilderlands and I'd like to have a look at it. Does Diaglo know about it? I assume that he does.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Barak]

My gaming group always enjoyed the example used in the DMG, AD&D 2ndedition as a magic item a DM shouldn't let a player invent. "The Multi-Barrel Wand of Mega-death".