D&D 5E Multi-Turn Moves; Need phrasing help

[Yunru]

So I've got it saying roughly what I want, but obviously I've creator's bias when reading it. Does this make sense, is there a more streamline way of saying it?

Charge Beam: 1st Level
School: Evocation
Casting Time: Concentration, up to 12 seconds
Range:120 feet
Duration: Instantaneous
Components: V, S
Effect: An orb of light slowly forms in your hand. When the spell ends, either because your concentration is broken or because you decide to end it, the orb erupts into a beam that lances a target within range that you can see. The target must make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failure the target takes 2d6 radiant damage for each of your turns you maintained concentration on the spell, or half as much on a success.
At higher levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage per turn increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.

There's also this one and dammit ENWorld, stop messing up when I C+P from OneNote!

Microsphere:​ Cantrip
School: Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 feet
Duration: Instantaneous
Components: V, S
Effect: A sphere of energy hurls forth from your hand to a point you choose within range that explodes into a maelstrom. Each creature within a 5 foot radius must make a Dexterity saving throw. A target takes 1d8 damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
The damage creatures within the blast take is of a type of your choosing from the following: Acid, Cold, Fire, Lightning, or Poison.

This spell's radius increases by 5 foot when you reach 5th level, 11th level, and 17th level.

 

[LordEntrails]

Casting time is instantaneous. Duration is up to 2 turns.
Not sure I like that the spell goes off if you lose concentration though.

 

[cooperjer]

Charge Beam:
School: Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range:120 feet
Duration: Concentration, up to 2 turns
Components: V, S
Effect: An orb of light slowly forms in your hand. When the spell ends, *delete* either because your concentration is broken or because you decide to end it,*delete* the orb forms into a beam that lances a target within range that you can see. The target must make a Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, the target takes 2d6 radiant damage, or half as much damage on a successful one. For each of your turns after the first that you maintained concentration, increase the damage by 2d6. At higher levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the damage *delete* per turn *delete* increases by 1d6 for each slot level above 1st.

Refer to the spell Disintegrate for a ray spell that uses a save. I noticed you used the word "target" rather than "creature". The word target allows a character to shoot at a door or non-creature thing. What happens if the spell is used for that? I'm going to recommend changing the word "target" to the word "creature." I changed the word "erupts" into the word "forms" as a matter of personal preference. In my mind an orb that erupts does so in a full radius. The word "forms" allows it to transform into a ray.

Microsphere:
School: Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 feet
Duration: Instantaneous
Components: V, S
Effect: A sphere of energy hurls forth from your hand to a point you choose within range and explodes into a maelstrom. You choose acid, cold, fire, lighting or poison for the type of orb you create. Each creature within a 5 feet of the point where the sphere explodes must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 1d8 damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
*delete*The damage creatures within the blast take is of a type of your choosing from the following: Acid, Cold, Fire, Lightning, or Poison. *delete*

This spell's radius increases by 5 foot when you reach 5th level, 11th level, and 17th level.

Refer to the spells Melf's Minute Meteors from Princes of the Apocalypse and Chromatic Orb for the explosion and choice of element respectively. The increase of radius by level is new and I can't think of a spell with a similar feature. I would tend to think that it makes it an underwhelming spell. I'm going to recommend that an additional sphere is created at higher levels.

Interesting spells to create. It looks like you have an early version of Disintegrate and a different take on Chromatic Orb.

 

[Yunru]

Refer to the spell Disintegrate for a ray spell that uses a save. I noticed you used the word "target" rather than "creature". The word target allows a character to shoot at a door or non-creature thing. What happens if the spell is used for that? I'm going to recommend changing the word "target" to the word "creature." I changed the word "erupts" into the word "forms" as a matter of personal preference. In my mind an orb that erupts does so in a full radius. The word "forms" allows it to transform into a ray.

I used Delayed Blast Fireball as reference, as it's the only damage-over-turns spell I know of. Which is probably why it says target, fire breaks stuff a lot better than light. Your changes, however, cut the spells power almost in half when upscaled, making it not really worth it.

For Microsphere, it's main use will be by Dragon Sorcerers, but it's intended for horde situations where a Firebolt just won't cut it. For the explosion I lifted straight from the classic: Fireball.

 

[Satyrn]

I like it still working when concentration fails.

I'd probably never bother casting it otherwise.

 

[Satyrn]

Also, I think they're both comprehensible as written, and seem balanced enough for their levels (which I kinda would've liked for you to have explicitly mention earlier than the upcasting or level increase paragraph)

 

[Yunru]

(which I kinda would've liked for you to have explicitly mention earlier than the upcasting or level increase paragraph)

Whoops, I C+P'd from my big spell book and forgot to copy the header with them.

>_>
<_<
*ninja vanish*

 

[cooperjer]

I used Delayed Blast Fireball as reference, as it's the only damage-over-turns spell I know of. Which is probably why it says target, fire breaks stuff a lot better than light. Your changes, however, cut the spells power almost in half when upscaled, making it not really worth it.

For Microsphere, it's main use will be by Dragon Sorcerers, but it's intended for horde situations where a Firebolt just won't cut it. For the explosion I lifted straight from the classic: Fireball.

If you interpret my recommended changes as cutting the spell power in half then there is an error in communication. The changes I recommended should have kept the damage the same and the spell effects the same, but used text from similar spells in the PH. I wonder what I wrote that you interpret as cutting the spell power in half?