Okay, wise guy. Let's work with this. First, we have to make it not silly. We'll do that by taking our orc and making the magical oven mitt into something else fireproof. The demonic skin of a glabrezu, grafted onto his arm by "helpful" outsiders? Sure, that would work. Let it be fireproof and have a few magical powers, and it would look pretty cool, so we'll go with that.
Okay, now the pie. Why a pie? Clearly, it isn't the pie but what's inside it that's important. Since I just mentioned cannibalism in another thread, I'm thinking orc pie. But now we have to explain why this guy is next to lava. . .
Hrakool was an one-eyed orcish shaman, feared and respected in his tribe. He strayed from the worship of Gruumsh to the adoration of black things from beyond comprehension. He would take orcish babies and sacrifice them to these demons in the deep of the night, eating the baby's hearts himself. In return the demons gifted him with a demonic skin that coats his right arm and turns it into a hideous weapon. It is slowly creeping over his body, and in time may subsume him entirely.
This obviously couldn't be hidden forever. Challenged by faithful Gruumsh worshippers and with orcish flesh still digesting in his belly, Hrakool was driven from the caves by a howling mob. He headed for the deeps of the world, staying on the outskirts of orcish settlements and picking off their inattentive citizens. His curse causes him to only be able to eat orcish or half-orcish flesh in order to live. He sometimes tries to pretend that he's eating something else, but there's no escaping his sin. His arm gives him magical powers - summoning forth small pools of bubbling lava, fire resistance, short-duration disguise capability, a few other special effects - but it giggles evil suggestions to him in the still of the underdark. Hrakool is now entirely insane, and extraordinarily crafty.
Finally driven upwards towards the sewers of a human city, Hrakool surfaced and smelled half-orcs above him. Now he stalks the city's half-orc population (and the orcish peace delegation currently visiting the city in order to discuss peace on a heavily raided caravan route) in a hunt for victims. He has intimidated a cowardly and venal baker into working with him, letting the debased human lure half-orcs to his pastry shop with "special orcish treats." Once a victim is selected, Hrakool lets the baker prepare the meat before devouring it. He has made himself a burrow beneath the baker's root cellar, and is trying to decide what to do when the city's supply of prey is gone.
The PCs are drawn into this when they hear of some sort of vigilante killing half-orcs. They may at first expect a fanatical ranger, but tracking down the last movements of two of the half-orcs leads them to the baker's shop. Meanwhile, Hrakool is out stalking the important orcish diplomats, and after beating the story out of the dispicable baker the PCs have to get to the local keep and stop Hrakool before he kills the ambassador -- and in doing so starts a war.
How's that for a five minute adventure?
