My player is driving me crazy!

[StupidSmurf]

Geez, you should grow a long beard and sit cross legged on a mountaintop somewhere.

Thats good advice.

I was just gonna say talk to her and find out what she REALLY likes. But StupidSmurf said it better.

Thank you! Glad to be of help!

Unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be), I look awful in a beard, am afraid of heights, and if I sit cross-legged for too long my legs get sore.

But let all take note: Ignore the wisdom of Whiskey and Ginger Ale at your peril! For many are the truths that issue forth from it.

 

[Aust Diamondew]

Sounds to me like she needs to learn to sepperate in game from out of game, learn patience and learn to just chill out.
Does she throw a fit if you bankrupt her in monopoly? If you kill her queen in chess does she avoid you at work all week? If you're playing poker and you won't tell her whats in your hand will she leave the room?

 

[MerakSpielman]

Some very good suggestions here, thank you.

She does have mental problems of some sort. Sees a therapist every week and all that. Struggles with depression.

However, I will say that she is not vindictive. When things go badly in the game, the tension seems to stay in the game and not spill over into work. For that I am thankful.

I'm going to have a chat with her over the Instant Messanger today and try to get things worked out. The game is tomorrow, so I need to make sure we're on the same page.

It's also true that she didn't have the same "trial by fire" my wife and I had when we joined our last D&D group... they were hardcore, serious role-players, involved in games with deep intrigue, secretive characters of unknown alignment/class/abilities. Intra-party conflict was common, and led on occasion to characters dying at the hands of their "companions." But it was all in-character. The goal was to create a character unlike yourself, and role-play them 100% how they would really act. So long as you did this, anything went and there were no hard feelings. My wife and I were dropped plop! right into this group with no warning, and we carried through and had a blast.

We stayed with that group for 2 years. That's how I got used to playing. Now, I don't expect my current group to be THAT intense, especially with the newbies we have, but in a way I feel it might have been good for her to go through something like I did. A trial by fire, to break down barriers and hesitations, to really get into the game. Alas, I lack even the gumption to kill her character, even if the dice decree it should be so. I worry that she'll quit and never come back.

 

[SBMC]

Smurfs are small and blue…and I thought that I knew...

Geez, you should grow a long beard and sit cross legged on a mountaintop somewhere.

Thats good advice.

I was just gonna say talk to her and find out what she REALLY likes. But StupidSmurf said it better.

Smurfs are small and blue…and I thought that I knew

Think about it - a friggin smurf figured this out whilst hundreds of us who read the thread could not!

An admittedly stupid smurf to boot!

Thus I conclude that perhaps being deprived if oxygen could indeed create more alpha waves in the brain!

(Sorry - no offense to stupidsmurf intended - the irony of smurfdom, alchohol and wisdom overwhemed me! And it is my last day at my current job and thus the endorphins are going nuts!)

 

[SBMC]

A Last Resort:

I have another idea - if all else fails (as in talking to her): get with the other players and see if they'll do the "dirty work" for you.

Tell them the situation that you have OOG with her - see if they'll "kick her out" for you - say that its her or them or something like that. Then what choice does she have? You have? Then it is "out of your hands"

 

[DonTadow]

Smurfs are small and blue…and I thought that I knew

Think about it - a friggin smurf figured this out whilst hundreds of us who read the thread could not!

An admittedly stupid smurf to boot!

Thus I conclude that perhaps being deprived if oxygen could indeed create more alpha waves in the brain!

(Sorry - no offense to stupidsmurf intended - the irony of smurfdom, alchohol and wisdom overwhemed me! And it is my last day at my current job and thus the endorphins are going nuts!)

You are naive to the ways of the smurfs. Sure they have that "facade" but wisdome is natural for them. What else do you expect from a age old communistic socieity of demons who follow a leader only known to them as "papa".

 

[StupidSmurf]

You are naive to the ways of the smurfs. Sure they have that "facade" but wisdome is natural for them. What else do you expect from a age old communistic socieity of demons who follow a leader only known to them as "papa".

And let's not forget the gross disparity in male-female ratio, and the fact that the only female ran around in a white slip and white high heels.

But, to touch upon SBMC's post, consider the following salient points:

Oxygen deprivation makes one turn blue.
Smurfs are blue.
Shadowslayer touched upon the idea of me growing a beard.
Papa Smurf is blue and has a beard.
Although alcohol isn't consumed by Smurfs, they do consume Smurfberries
Berries can be fermented into alcoholic drinks

Like Roy Neary said as he stared at his mashed potatoes: "This means something". But for the life of me, I'm not sure what!

 

[Funeris]

yeah...and they somehow reproduce with only one female in their family....and the female isn't even a real smurf....

Smurfs: -2 strength, -4 intelligence, +8 wisdom

 

[Ozmar]

OK, I don't normally bitch about my players, but she's driving me nuts...

(snip)

Ask her what she's doing moonlighting in my game?! And she must disguise herself as a man, too, because she sounds EXACTLY like one of my players!

Its nice to know that I'm not the only one who has to deal with people like that.

Ozmar the Long-Suffering DM

Edit: Great idea, Smurf! One of the main problems with the "sit down and talk with the player about the problems" idea is that, while it is perfectly sound and rational, it assumes that the player is in fact sound and rational. Yet, if the player were very rational, it can be assumed that there would not be these problems, so the player must be somewhat (perhaps very) irrational. I like Smurf's suggestion because it bypasses the rationality requirement. The person is acting like a child, so you approach the situation on a level they can handle.

Ozmar the Parent

 

[Ozmar]

I have never met a guy player whom has this problem. Is this a female gamer thing? Most of the stories I read concerning this almost always deal with female gamers.

Alas, no! It can happen in guys as well, as my experience has shown.

If one were to generalize, I would say that girls are more likely to be emotionally invested in the game through their characters and their character's interpersonal relationships. But guys have their own hang-ups, which often revolve around the need to argue about being right about arcane rules interpretations, and also tend to suffer from a lack of investment in their characters.

But I've seen guys and gals who break these generalizations, so it is hard to prejudge. People are all different.

Ozmar the Generalist