Nearly laid low by a goblin...

[Tolen Mar]

I hate goblins. I hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em!

I'm playing a 4th level beguiler/1st level fighter. I dipped into fighter because we are short a player, and I'm not as able in a fight to stand back and use my spells as often. Sometimes I have to get in and mix it up, and my attack bonus was too low to let me do any good. An extra +1 BAB, and weapon finesse later, and I'm in better shape. Nonetheless, I'm not the best fighter in the group. However, I am fifth level...you'd think that would count for something.

Ok, so here we are in Eberron, in Sharn. We have a body to get rid of without alerting any authority-type figures, so we decide to go down to the sewers and ditch the body there. As we wander around in the stench, we come across a garbage pile; picking their way through it are a pair of goblins. We manage to sneak past them (we weren't looking for a fight of any kind, and after all, they are goblins! We don't need to squash such simple little creatures) carrying the body.

Once we get past the pair, we hear something much bigger coming our way. Now we are stuck between something big and probably dangerous, and a pair of goblins. We drop the body, figuring that whatever is headed our way will make short work of it, solving our dilemma, and we beat a hasty retreat.

So I get the idea that we don't have to outrun the monster, we just have to outrun the goblins. so as I go by, I trip one of them, landing its ugly face in the muck. I didn't mean anything particularly cruel by this, it was just survival of the fittest. So the other goblin stops, and helps her companion up out of the muck, and in anger, they draw swords on us!

Not us, me.

I lose initiative...of course...and they attack. One crits, one doesn't. This is where I find out they are rogues, and since they went first, I'm flat-footed.

My character is dropped in one round. (To -3 HP, at least I stabilised on my own!)

By goblins.

In fact, the final stroke was delivered by the female.

I had my butt handed to me by a girl-goblin...

I nearly retired the character right then out of shame.

She blames us for the death of her husband (who gets killed a little later in the fight by Drogo the halfling), and swears to get revenge on us. Especially when she sees her husband picked up by a cadaver collector and added to its collection (the source of the loud approaching noise). So now we have a goblin recurring NPC: our DM assures us she'll be back. An NPC with a whale of a grudge. No doubt she'll turn out to be the head of a guild or some such the next time we see her.

So...anyone else have any recent events they'd like to share? Let's all wallow in character self-pity for a while!

EDIT: My character made it out of there. Our shifter fighter carried my body out of the sewers and got me to a healer.

 

[shilsen]

No need to be ashamed of being taken down by a goblin. The PCs in my Eberron game are willing to take on giants, dragons, mind flayers and the like, but if I ever bring out any goblinoids, they get really, really worried.

Though gnomes are what really, really terrify them.

 

[Gnome Quixote]

Though gnomes are what really, really terrify them.

As they should. MU-HU-HAHAHAHA!

 

[Lord Zardoz]

When DM's dont use goblinoids as sword fodder, players get very worried. They are still usually easier fights then most others. But with standard issue goblins / orcs / hobgoblins, DMs tend to pull no punches. You might fudge a to hit roll on a giant, since you dont want to TPK the party. But goblins and the like should be well within the ability of the party to handle.

END COMMUNICATION

 

[Ed_Laprade]

I hate goblins. I hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em! Ok, so here we are in Eberron, in Sharn. We have a body to get rid of without alerting any authority-type figures, so we decide to go down to the sewers and ditch the body there. As we wander around in the stench, we come across a garbage pile; picking their way through it are a pair of goblins. We manage to sneak past them (we weren't looking for a fight of any kind, and after all, they are goblins! We don't need to squash such simple little creatures) carrying the body.

Once we get past the pair, we hear something much bigger coming our way. Now we are stuck between something big and probably dangerous, and a pair of goblins. We drop the body, figuring that whatever is headed our way will make short work of it, solving our dilemma, and we beat a hasty retreat.

So I get the idea that we don't have to outrun the monster, we just have to outrun the goblins. so as I go by, I trip one of them, landing its ugly face in the muck. I didn't mean anything particularly cruel by this, it was just survival of the fittest. So the other goblin stops, and helps her companion up out of the muck, and in anger, they draw swords on us!

Not us, me.

I lose initiative...of course...and they attack. One crits, one doesn't. This is where I find out they are rogues, and since they went first, I'm flat-footed.

My character is dropped in one round. (To -3 HP, at least I stabilised on my own!)

By goblins.

In fact, the final stroke was delivered by the female.

I had my butt handed to me by a girl-goblin...

I nearly retired the character right then out of shame.

Well, that's what you get for wandering around in the sewers with a body instead of just dumping it in.

 

[heimdall]

I'd have cut you a break and treated the trip as the start of combat (meaning you wouldn't have been flat-footed), but man, the dice did not come out in your favor. My cousin had a similar experience back in 1E days... he had a 3rd level fighter laid low by a standard kobold. It always gave him a humorous story. Put in the right context (bear chasing in the woods joke), yours can be a funny tale, too.

 

[Tolen Mar]

Well, that's what you get for wandering around in the sewers with a body instead of just dumping it in.

Yeah, well...we didn't want it floating up somewhere where it could be noticed. We figured if we went deep enough, something with nasty teeth and an appetite to match would clean up the mess for us.

I guess it isn't too bad. At least it wasn't a kobold...

 

[frankthedm]

the thing with kobolds and goblins is the ones that manage to survive early on quickly learns they will die in any fight.

Those young male warriors might run onto PCs swords; which the PCs are grateful for "Whoo-hoo free XP!", but the gobbos who wise up will make life miserable for those who want to smash, loot and leave. If they see the invaders survive falling into the spike pit, the next time the pit will also have a rock fall and water fill that entombs and drowns the victim.

Worse still, when the PCs kill all the gung-ho semi strong gobbos, that leaves just the smarter and cowardly ones to breed, Making future generations even more agrivating to deal with.

 

[Mad Mac]

Hmmm...pitiful character stories? Nothing recent, but back in my 2nd Edition days, I had a character I named Theoden. I had big plans for him. He was a pugilist kit Human Fighter using the Skills and Powers martial arts rules. Eventually he was going to dual-class into wizard. He was going to be the greatest character ev-er.

Sadly, fate had other plans. I should have known from the start, when a simple street brawl that served as his introduction (Giving him a chance to show his stuff) had him quickly sidelined while the other pcs that didn't know their fist from their rump cleaned house. But this was a small embaressment for what was to come.

Poor Theodin was destined to suffer a horribly crippling critical hit in the opening rounds of every important fight. Every....Single...One. He quickly became known as Theoden the Unlucky, seeing as how he spent every battle sucking mud and bleeding nearly to death. Oh yes, and we were using the optional crit system from the Skills and Powers books, so he wasn't just down for the fight...he didn't lose limbs or anything, but he was typically forced to spend a week or so of downtime resting his poor, broken body, only to get into another fight and snap his colorbone for the 5th time in 2 months.

 

[Felix]

The party was me (a 2nd level barbarian w/ greatsword), a 2nd level ranger and a 2nd level paladin. I was doing the scouting duty (faster movement) and we were ambushed. Not me that is, but them. I had to turn around and come back to help.

They were beset by 5 goblins and 3 wolves, and were hatching some kind of cunning plan.

I came back and ran into the goblin rear-guard of 3 of them and draw steel. They do the same.

Me: I rage. "RAAAAAAARRGH!" And attack. Hit. 11 damage.

DM: He looks hurt. All three goblins rage. "raaaaaaaarrgh!" And attack. Total of 23 damage.

Me: Uh, I'm down.

I. Friggin. Hate. Goblins. With. Class. Levels. In. Barbarian.