Need Opinions on a Game Situation

Hmm... I saw two things "wrong" in what you were telling.

1) The strong use of player knowledge by the elf.

2) The level vs. the power level.

Even one artifact at 3rd level is absurd. Moving right along, though -- since nothing in the action is bad, just the character level IMHO.

Yeah, the elf sounds like she was acting on meta-game info. It happens to the best of us. It's especially likely in less experienced players. IME, no one ever really gets "pure roleplaying competency", no matter how much they want it. Game reasons always influence play. Few players ever become strongly disposed to it, and almost none in less than five years.

On the other hand, I know of a couple of groups that think nothing of cracking open the DMG or MM as players during the game. The idea is that it levels the playing field for the 20 year players who have DMed regularly and the newbies (newerbies?). Not the sort of game I think I'd enjoy, but it's a valid play style.

Everyone in my group is pretty good friends, so my thoughts are slanted with that assumption. If the charter for your group is implicitly a roleplay/dramatist center, then you might want to bring it up to the elf-player. Maybe discuss it as a group, "Hey, guys, I've been thinking. What kind of game do we really want? Some guys on-line were talking about group charters and how they help set expectations."

When I say "charter", I'm not really talking about a formal document (although some people have one). I'm talking about the core assumptions on which the game is based. These include things like roleplay vs. gamism; DM-as-god or concensual development; etc. Most times, groups work just fine with everything left as unspoken assumptions. Some groups have the core assumption of DM-as-god and the DM sets all other aspects of the charter by fiat. Sometimes the charter needs to have an issue formally discussed.

Regardless, the player should be allowed to create a new character. Anything else is just plain mean-spirited. If the DM works out something that might allow a jail-break (so to speak) then an interim character would be fine. I've always read the Void as being dead, no chance of resurrection, just waiting for your body to figure it out; and would treat a character hit by it accordingly.

My wife had to play a _blind_ character for a month and she was so bored doing so that she didn't even attend the fourth session. Playing a dead character would not dignify attendance the first session (or maybe ever).

If was playing in the game and the DM required the player in question to continue playing the voided character, I would object in the strongest possible terms, whether or not I was the player in question.

If another _player_ suggested it, or especially if they pouted over it, I'd consider the player to be hostile. Me being me, I'd probably try and figure out what sort of chip he had on his shoulder. Still, if the player wasn't cooperative or managed to sway the rest of the group, I'd probably consider the group to be not worth playing in.

As far as the DM showing favoritism, nothing you posted indicates anything of the sort (which is a far cry from saying that it doesn't exist). I know that as DM, I used to make an extreme effort to avoid favoritism for my wife, which has even resulted in her being treated _harsher_ than the other players (as one of them pointed out). It does take some getting used to before you avoid going too far in either direction. In my case, a few years of regular DMing.

Okay, short answers:

1) Did the elf act on "player knowledge"?

Yeah, probably. So have you, I'm sure. She might even do it more often than you. If she's making a reasonable effort, cut her some slack. If she's not, talk to her.

2) Should she play the voided character?

Are you on drugs? If it's the DM trying to get her to do so, you should never complain about favoritism again. In fact, you should tell your DM that he's gone a bit too far the other direction.

If you are trying to push for it, grow up. Treat her reasonably and with some respect. If you aren't trying to be hostile with the suggestion, then I genuinely apologize. It really sounds like you've got a chip on your shoulder, though, I have haven't any patience for player v. player vandettas.

3) Is the DM showing some favoritism?

Dunno. No evidence. I'd suggest giving him a certain amount of leeway, especially if he isn't the only or regular DM in the group. It sometimes takes a bit to grow into referreeing your spouse/SO fairly. If you think he's going overboad, _talk_ to him. It sounds like you've known him for something like 20 years. If you can't have a conversation with him how good of a friend is he?
 

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Re: ....

Magestrike said:
She wanted to play a Harper I believe, because in her own words "she wanted a powerful character to take out the dwarf for not letting her have the Deck in the first place." Comments like this ruin the game for me, and the others as well. Im sorry, it just does.

Ah.

You posted while I was typing my previous message.

Yeah, it does sound like she's a problem player. I don't really know what to tell you about it other than maybe you should try to DM.

You could try talking to her, too. Just one-on-one, not calling her out in front of the group.

I've got a friend with a rather hostile, arrogant wife, too. The situations are a bit different, but I do understand. It's unfortunate that this happens sometimes.

Hopefully, she'll grow into the game.
 

Re: ....

Magestrike said:
She wanted to play a Harper I believe, because in her own words "she wanted a powerful character to take out the dwarf for not letting her have the Deck in the first place."

:eek:

THAT's a problem! It sounds to me like it's time for a metagame discussion, about how in-character animosities should not be carried beyond the characters. This means you don't take in-game conflicts out-of-game; it also means that you don't take a conflict an old character had and move it on to a new character. Criminy!

Good luck, friend. I take back my previous advice, and now I don't know what to tell you.

Daniel
 

Feh.

It honestly sounds like you just don't LIKE this woman.

You're acting like allowing her to roll-up a new character is a REWARD or something for her first character dying. Her character died.... how is that a reward?

Obviously the DM shouldn't allow her to create a character to kill party members... that just wouldn't go over well with anybody.

It sounds to me like you guys are being way too prudish and anal about this whole situation. She's obviously a different type of gamer who enjoys getting powerful items, and she obviously metagames. You guys sound like "holier than thou" roleplayers... both of which, in my mind, are not good.

If the DMs wife is a bit of a powergamer and she metagames, you're only going to bring strife to the group by trying to FORCE her to roleplay when she doesn't think that roleplaying is FUN. The best thing to do (with what limited info you've given) is just let her metagame, and quit whining about it, and let her have fun. The DM should balance things so she doesn't ruin things for the party.
 

It's the wife again!

It all became painfully clear what the real problem was when you replied and said there was a wife involved.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, wummin' are no good in gaming! :D

Ok, ok, hold off on the flamethrowers and let me explain my position.

Firstly, I have nothing against women gaming.

Secondly, I have nothing against women and men gaming in the same group.

However, there is a cavaet to all the above and that is if the woman is going out with one of the guys in the group. The same goes for if a guy is going out with another guy in the group or a woman is going out with another woman in the group. Essentially, don't bring the relationship to the table.

Now, I know some people manage it ok and for them, kudo's, you obviously have a beautiful relationship and are meant for each other. However, most people I've found just can't seperate the two environments and so bring all their hangups and relationship problems to the table. But even when it's rosey, it's no good because you get footsies under the table (one guy ended up playing footsies with ME... ugh, I mean, he was cute, but he wasn't THAT cute), favouritism or worse anti-favouritism (where they purposefully don't favour each other so that it doesn't appear that they're favouring each other), and a whole HOST of other complexities which simply DON'T work well in such an environment.

I consider gaming to be much like how the poker games are portrayed on American sitcoms. Essentially it's an excuse to get together and have bucket loads of laughs, eat some junk food, roll some dice and go home happy in the knowledge that you kicked some orc ass. Bringing a relationship to the table suddenly alters the entire social situation to a point where fun takes a backseat.
 

Changing the behavior of a player is (usually) about as likely as changing the weather. If like to go on picnics and it is always raining where you live, then you need to either learn how to cook in the rain or find another pastime.

I would guess that she sees D&D exactly the way she sees any traditional game: Monopoly, Risk, Trivial pursuit...the point is to "win". In D&D, "winning" to such a player usually involves being the most powerful or at least beating up on the monsters. I enjoy this to an extent myself...I like coming up with interesting combinations of powers, skills, magic items, feats, etc and using them to great effect in combat or other exciting situations. To me that is the whole point of leveling up and keeping track of XP (but I also like good role-playing).

My suggestion is that you talk to her and the DM about it. Let them both know why you play and what you want out of the game (as if they don't know already) and then drop it...either accept the play styles of others in your group and learn to enjoy the game despite these differences or find another group.

The tastes in my game range from a former Magic the Gathering player who playes D&D exactly like he's playing Magic to a player who was told to make a 15th level character for a one-shot dungeon crawl and made an 80-year-old human fighter with an 8 con and 11 strength and wore bronze breast plate armor and carried a shortsword and a lance as his weapons. I tried explaining to him that the one-shot was going to be a dungeon-crawl/hack n' slash game and that he should make his character more "appropriate" for that, but he'd hear none of it. He was nearly killed in almost every battle...

So normally I have to strike a balance between power-gaming and role-playing to satisfy all these tastes. My players must accept that a balance is being struck.

Your DM must also strike a balance...and you as a player must understand that he is doing his best to strike that balance (and having a pouty wife for one of your players makes that doubly difficult). If the situation is intolerable...suggest a break from D&D and play Monopoly.
 

Re: It's the wife again!

DDK said:
It all became painfully clear what the real problem was when you replied and said there was a wife involved.


This all needs a big "it depends" in front of it...

We have two couples in our group (and with 6 players...doing the math...that means 2/3s of the group is romantically involved with other members of the group...it's all monogamous I assure you!).

One of these is a regular DM. And he does sometimes show a small amount of favoritism to his girlfriend...if only by conspiring with her to get her help him advance the story. For instance, one time her character was killed...so he had her "create" a new character...this new character ended up being a doppleganger working for our enemy. They were able to pull it off because he was able to instruct her in what she should be doing before the game. It actually turned out to be fun (if you consider having a trusted party member betray you in the middle of the climatic scene in the campaign!) Otherwise, these two don't bring their relationship to the table in any meaningful way.

The other couple are both players and they don't seem to bring table either. However, I've seen it go the other way. And I know that if my own wife played D&D she'd be one of the pouty ones that allows game issues to spill over into the marriage and vis versa...which is why she doesn't game with us...she knows it too. So in general, I'd have to agree...keep wives, girlfriends, husbands and boyfriends away from the game table unless those people can drop that relationship while the game is going on.
 

Murrdox said:
It honestly sounds like you just don't LIKE this woman.

You mean, he doesn't like the woman who wants a new character who is powerful, just so that she can kill a character that her previous PC had a disagreement with?

Can't say I blame him! Assuming he's reporting the situation accurately, there's no way we would have allowed such behavior in a group when we were fourteen, much less as adults.

Her gender, her relationship have nothing to do with it. This is bad sportsmanship, immature behavior, and downright icky.

Daniel
 

Four comments:

1) 3rd level characters are finding artifacts? WTF?

2) I'm surprised no one else brought this up: no offense, but the dwarf was a moron. He finds a trapped box, and so automatically whatever is inside is Ultimate Evil and Must Be Destroyed? That's the stupidest thing I've heard all day. And that's saying something. You could call it good roleplaying, perhaps . . . if the dwarf has an Int of 6.

3) Yeah, the elf meta-gamed. But maybe she had heard of a DoMT before, in-game -- I mean, she's a cheaty elf. I don't think this was a big deal. She drew, she got her soul sucked out, she should be allowed to play a new character.

4) The big (in fact, only real) problem is what she said about wanting to play a Harper so she could whup on the dwarf. That's bad news. Hell, that's pretty close to "Bye, folks, I'll see you when I see you" news.
 

...

Good advice all around, and some of it we as a group will probably try. But I just wanted to post to clear up a few things that I may have not been completely clear on.

3rd level characters finding artifacts. Well, yea, I kinda didnt understand that either, having DMed before myself, but I think the DM was attempting to further the plot line for the very longterm campaign he had planned out. After playing with this DM, who is one of my best life long friends, for about 15 years, I give him leeway when it comes to stuff like this, as he always has a reason pertaining to the story.

I have no problem with characters getting killed or whatnot if there is a solid reason behind it pertaining to the story. Hect, Ive had a few killed myself. There was one time I was playing a halfing that sacrificed himself to save the rest of the party and some freed slaves. Overall it sucked because he was a cool character that I had played for about 6 months, but the situation arose in the game and the way I had been playing him, he would have done what he did. What I do have an issue with is a player, because of outside info, using a powerful magic item with no other reason than "my elf would use it" when that isnt the way she had been playing the elf. This, after seeing the stuff protecting it just caused one of her fellow party members to lose his arm. The only reason being "it was there". The dwarf wanted to either take it to investigate later or just leave it, hoping to get his fellow party member help after just losing his arm.

Personal feelings toward her. I actually have no bad feelings toward her. I like her; we all do. She is a gamer and has been since she joined the group. My wife and I go over and hang out at their house. Our kids play together. Personal feelings outside the game are ok as far as I am concerned.

She knew that the Deck was there because she read the DMs notes. As a matter of fact, when we picked up the box, she said "Thats the box with the Deck in it". We all just looked at her like "OK, thats nice. The dwarf and human dont know that. Its a box"

Like I said before, she is usually a better player than that. She plays a lot and has for a while. I think the problem is that she only plays with her husband, mostly solo adventures. After reading a lot of comments from other DMs online, and having played with a bunch of different DMs both in person and online, I dont think her playing style would "survive" their games. The rest of us just want her to become a better roleplayer or at least be more consistent. She has played characters in the past that were really good, we just dunno what happened.

I think we need to sit down and have a chat about this situation next Tuesday before we play again. No one is trying to change anybody or is trying to be judgemental or anything like that. We just want to play, because we are all enjoying the hect out of this campaign. We just didnt like the way that after all the work we have all put into this campaign, including the DM, she basically just threw her character away for no other reason than "it was there". We will get it straightened out.

Actually the funny thing is, the halfling doesnt know any of this went on. His player was called away due to the state of emerganecy in MD. All he knows is that we went off without him because he got detained in the town. We are all looking forward to playing next time to see how the role playing works out in the end when the the other three come back to town. The dwarf being hurt pretty badly, the human with one arm and the catatonic elf. Should be some fun RPing there, especially with the halfling.

Again, thanks all. This has been a real help and I do appreciate the comments.
 

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