Need some good putdowns from a snobbish noble

[Hand of Evil]

• It is not the smell that brothers me, it is that there is a smell.
• Life is good, too bad I can't be somewhere else.
• Think I met a cousin of yours, half orc named <insert name here>
• Yes, met your sister last night at the pleasure house. It was a pleasure.
• I have always heard wonderful things of your home; it is a nice hovel.

Side note - younger nobles were often sent to meet other noble families to have them married off, it is a good plot hook to surprise a player with. No notice just told it has been arranged.

 

[Jackdaw McGraw]

I agree with many of the responses from squints - 2008?

Good snobbery isn't flatly cruel. It's considered gauche in rarified circles. The goal is to put a lesser status person in their place without the appearance of having put much thought or care into it. If you lean too far into the insult you risk losing more face or prestige than the person you've insulted. Noble insults are best wrapped in the clothing of a compliment.

Examples: These usually require a slow up-and-down appraisal, the glance of snobbery.

"I'm glad to see you've done so well for yourself."

"You must find many relics in your journeys."

"What a unique gown."

"The gods bless a simple man."

"It must be a great a relief to be unconcerned with courtly life."

"It must be a thrilling life - to survive by your wits rather than your reputation"

"I admire your perseverance."

"I fear you will find our company quite boring. Nothing but chit-chat about politics and money."


If they refuse to bow or show deference to royalty, the monarch never shows offense. Others show it for them. They instead are cool and cutting. How'd they'd handle it:

"My faithful subject's wounds obviously trouble him."

"Now now. None of my dogs know how to bow either, but we know they are faithful."

"Our friend is unfamiliar with our customs."

"The horrors you must have endured to forget the kindnesses of civilization."

"You remind me of my brother, may he rest in peace."

"Ah, a revolutionary. Please leave your pamphlet with my footman."

 

[Jfdlsjfd]

"Your father must be proud that you perform so well in this adventuring job!"

 

[aco175]

An older lady might talk about knowing his grandmother and keep reminding which fork to use and how to wear his napkin.

A rival-ish person may say something cruel and then come back saying, "Sorry- that was a cheap trick. Speaking of cheap tricks, how is your sister." "Sorry, that was a dirty crack. Speaking of dirty cracks, how is your brother." Sorry, that was a low blow. Speaking of low blows..."

 

[Thunderfoot]

My favorite is this one...
'Ah, here (hands PC his/her glass) thank you.'

Implies the minor noble is a servant sent to collect the empties.

Another is 'Excuse me, goodman (good man), can you fetch my coach?'

Actually talking down to the person requires that you acknowledge their status, regardless of how lowly, talking AT them is just ... rude.