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D&D 5E New DM let Player Die, now what?

The mismatch is on the DM. The very basic job of the DM is to convey what is happening to the players. If a player (who is genuinely trying) does not understand what is going on, the DM needs to improve, needs to be clearer and more explicit.

It is of course, entirely possible, given that the character ran off to attack 'three humanoids' on their own, that the player doesn't really care. Even if the DM was crystal clear, it's entirely possible the information goes in one ear and out the other. If the player had been concerned with what his foes were, be they humans, elves, half-spider monsters or robots in disguise, the player would have expressed the desire for more information. My impression of this scenario is that while the DM may have left information out, or conveyed the information poorly, the player simply didn't care.

I don't expect the player to always ask for every detail, but if I say "it's broad daylight and you see three humanoids a short distance away through the trees" and Bob's first response is "I run off and attack them!" Well, it's Bob's fault for not caring enough to either let me finish or investigate further.

This is a good learning experience all around. The player should have been more cautious (which may or may not change subsequently) and the DM could have been more clear. The DM learns through getting feedback from players and respondents here, and the player learns by being dead.
 

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This is legit — one of the skills of DM'ing is learning how to give information to your players in a way that isn't boring, isn't information-overload, isn't super contradictory (as much of the stuff made up on the spot can be), and isn't giving away everything to the players. That's a serious skill, and certainly one that I as a DM am still working on.

Exactly. A lot of the time it's better for new DMs to just be explicit. If the DM had said, "2 spiders and 3 ettercaps", then the entire issue would have been avoided. There's a line of thought that says that you shouldn't just tell the players everything. But I find the advantages of clarity often outweigh "ambiance".

There's a spectrum of descriptors:

Most Explicit - "ettercaps"
"monstrous spider-like humanoids"
"monstrous humanoids"
Least Explicit - "humanoids"

It's always better, especially if you are a new DM, to fall on the explicit side. To emphasize the differences from normality, rather than the similarities.
 

Perhaps I'm not being clear enough. There is a mismatch between what the player thinks is happening, and what the DM knows is happening. And something bad happened.

Now, it's possible that the character would have still died if it had been humans, but there would have been no mismatch. In that case, it's a fair death, and the player may have been okay with that.

The mismatch is on the DM. The very basic job of the DM is to convey what is happening to the players. If a player (who is genuinely trying) does not understand what is going on, the DM needs to improve, needs to be clearer and more explicit.

They should have been labeled as monstrosities rather than humanoids, yes.
 

The mismatch is on the DM. The very basic job of the DM is to convey what is happening to the players. If a player (who is genuinely trying) does not understand what is going on, the DM needs to improve, needs to be clearer and more explicit.
I disagree. The DM isn't obligated to stop the players from doing stupid things. If they want to know more about a situation, they should ask. Obviously, a more experienced DM would set that expectation before the game, or avert disaster with lines like "it's obvious to your character that X is true" or "are you sure?"

From the OP's description, it sounds like the party was winning the fight, a subgroup of monsters ran away, one player chased after them on his own, and got killed now that he was outnumbered. If they were hobgoblins or wolves, the result would have been the same. If the player/group doesn't see the lesson there, that's his/their problem.

I think the lesson for the DM here is to be clearer about setting expectations for the campaign. If the players are expecting a railroad where they never die and the DM makes all the decisions for them, they'll be frustrated when they get punished hard for making a mistake. This is why a Session Zero is so important. If the way you introduce your campaign is "Hey, let's play D&D; roll up some characters and meet me on Wednesday," that's a disaster waiting to happen.
 

I don't know about you guys, but to me as a player, if a DM says "humanoids", that's a red flag. That's an explicit warning not to make assumptions, to investigate further, and expected the unexpected. That's an explicit indication to the players that "Your characters don't have all the facts in front of them. To the degree that they can't be sure what they are looking at, other than a vague human-like shape."
 

Everyone also seems to have missed the part where he explained (in the second more detailed telling of the situation) that he did, in fact, confirm they were ettercaps...I believe when the horses were dropped by the sleep spell...but before the PC was getting dead by them. Sooooo...the "DM shoulda been more clear" camp can kinda...calm down.

This was player fault. Whether it was inexperience or not caring, "This is what my character would do" or legitimate/sincere overconfidence, or "I should get everything handed to me in manageable chunks" or "You won't kill me, I'm the hero!" mistaken entitlement, doesn't really matter. A poor calculation on the player's part...and his PC, rightly, paid the price for it. Plain and simple.

Lessons to be learned. Backbones to be straightened and strengthened. New characters to be rolled up.

You didn't do anything wrong, minus some minor rules mistakes that ultimately wouldn't have altered the outcome. You have nothing to feel bad about. You didn't "let the [character] die." (I trust the player is still living?) The player caused their character's death. They can deal with it however they like. But "It was your fault. Gimme my character's life back!" guilt trips are not one of those ways.

Do not be bullied in to doing anything you don't think makes sense for the game's story.
 
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