A "good DM," someone who needs no rules, can successfully navigate around this pitfall, without needing a way to resolve it. Essentially, they're good enough at giving out the right information, taking input from the players, and keeping the game moving, that a conflict between these two copies never really occurs (or if it does, it doesn't do so for long enough or bad enough to ruin anyone's fun).
In other words, they ignore most of the rules written in the book and develop a set of their own rules to suit the style of play they (and, hopefully, their players) like.
I should probably make it clear that, by "rules", I don't just mean formulaic description of the game world phenomenae and "physics". A set of stipulations about who gets to decide what, based on what criteria, under what circumstances is just as much a set of rules as "traditional" roleplaying rules are, as far as I'm concerned.
Everyone else is going to probably need a way to get everyone on the same page, imagination-wise, and rules can certainly help that along.
In my experience - and as far as I can imagine even beyond that -
everyone needs rules. Exactly what those rules are and what they define may vary widely, however.
I'm not entirely sure I follow you. You'd still want rules, even if you didn't need them?
I think every group needs - and has - rules, whether they are written down or not. It's always useful to have the rules clear and easily communicated, and writing them down is a good way to do that. We are fortunate in that, increasingly, our hobby has matured sufficiently to generate rule sets that can handle many different styles of play, so I don't (generally) need to write my own.
For me, the interesting division is why someone is totally OK with this in NPC and PC verbal interaction, but is not OK with this for NPC and PC combat.
I can sort-of understand this. "Immersive" play is often focussed on "inhabiting" the mental "space" of a character. Physical activity seems, to many, quite distanced from the "mental" sphere whereas talking and conversation - particularly to those with a sound/hearing focussed perceptive consciousness - seems much closer to the "mental" world of the character.
It's a preference that should be recognised and respected - demanding that D&D should be designed for this particular focus seems somewhat self-centred, though.
I think the key thing about mini-games for resolution ties back into Kamikaze's point. My answer is that if you have that level of detail in the game, sometimes you want to use it and sometimes you don't. Most games answer this by having a somewhat involved system for the standard, but then DM advice to skip over a portion if it isn't important. (Though many systems aren't really very clear about this, or when it should be done.)
Burning Wheel kind of pushes this idea to the limit, thanks to its central focus on the characters' beliefs. If this thing you are trying to do is really important, you pull out the "artha" (various kinds of fate points), and most likely a relevant mini-game. If it is sort of important, you roll with it, and most likely have at least a partial failure, but gain some artha due to trying. If it isn't important at all, the DM will "Say Yes"--giving you want you wanted in the narration, but no advancement or artha gathering opportunity.
Sure, D&D 4E and Burning Wheel are designed to invoke the more detailed rules for different purposes. BW takes the excellent step of explicitly stating what qualifies a situation for the detailed focus. D&D kind-of does the same, saying "real challenges only" - but it doesn't get very particular about what makes a situation a "real challenge" - we are left, somewhat, to guess/make up our own criteria. This seems flexible, and gives freedom, but it can lead to confusion and some conflicts between parts of the system.
All that said, there is a huge difference between what people at a given table often want versus what will work for a wider range, nearly all the time. I think about a 1/4 of the replies here thus far have basically been, "Why don't you just do simple thing X"--implicitly suggesting that, "this works well enough for me, and probably will for you too." Problem is, "just mix in a blender at high speed some roleplaying, a skill roll or two, and adhoc DMing to smooth out the rough edges," is often a satisfactory system for a substantial number of people. But it isn't satisfactory for everyone, and certainly reveals its unsatisfactory rough edges on occasion even to people who like it. And if that is the best a game designer can do, then frankly they might as well admit that they are focused on setting and drop the game designer moniker. Because people can find that design easily enough for themselves (and have, many times).
I agree - and would go further. Many people can quite happily enjoy several styles and foci of roleplaying games. This only really becomes evident, however, when multiple sets of rules exist that really
work. When people were making these rules up - for lack of any real guidance in the published material - I think there was a tendency to search out "the best". A "one true way" culture grew up, I think, partly because of the focus required by groups that were seeking "
the way" to play at their own table.
Now maybe from a marketing or mass appeal perspective, D&D being a gateway game, should settle for that kind of solution. Focus on setting and production values--and keeping the costs down otherwise, to move products at a low margin. If one makes that business case, then they don't need much in the way of designers. They just need someone to tweak skill lists and feats and powers, clean things up, and play around the edges, the way the 2E team did.
I don't buy the "mass marketing" or "gateway" arguments. Since roleplaying systems that are "fully functional" now exist, I don't think a compromised system will be long for this world, any more.