Our opinions are shaped, in part by personal experiences.
Its kind of like that scene from the movie
Crocodile Dundee where Mick is in the hotel room and is asked if he has ever watched TV. He mentions that he saw some tv briefly years ago at a buddies place. He then turns on the tv and the intro to 'I Love Lucy' is playing. His response : " Yep. Thats what I saw".
Chances are, if you play a game many times and the play experiences are very similar then whatever you experienced will be regarded as "the norm" barring firsthand experience that contradicts that.
The thing is, there are so many approaches to playing D&D that there is effectively no "norm" and this was by design. Old school D&D doesn't have to be about jerk DMs and paranoid players any more than 4E has to be about endless dice rolling and tiresome combats.