Now, I don't mean to go off on a rant here...

[BigTom]

Dude, just cuz you're married doesn't mean you can't frolic in a hot tub with the Olsen twins.

The question isn't if he CAN frolic in a hot tub with the Olsen Twins, it's if he MAY frolic in the hot tub.

 

[DarkSoldier]

The question isn't if he CAN frolic in a hot tub with the Olsen Twins, it's if he MAY frolic in the hot tub.

The other question is "Is he too old to frolic?" Can he frolic, or can he just kinda shuffle from Point A to Point B?

 

[S'mon]

2. THE MILITARY WANNABE. Also known as "THE AMBULANCE CHASER" or "THE WEEKEND WARRIOR" this truly frightening player is a distant cousin of the Gun Munchkin. His entire goal in the campaign is to play a high-level military special operative soldier, almost always American (but sometimes British or Israeli). What makes the Military Wannabe an annoying player is that he wants to play this character regardless of the nature of the campaign. For example:
-----
Me: Okay guys, let's roll up characters. Remember you're creating ordinary first-level characters with any starting occupation except Law Enforcement or Military. Average citizens.

Military Wannabe: WHAT? First level? Average citizens? But I want to play a 10th level Navy SEAL who specializes in demolitions and sniper fire! Or at least an Israeli Special Commando!

Me: Er, right. But remember that this is a *horror* campaign in which the characters are *inexperienced civilians*.

Military Wannabe: WHAT? That sucks!
-----
Military Wannabes are easily spotted because they almost always have two distinctive features: (1) They usually wear camoflauge clothing, and (2) They talk incessantly about how America, Britain, or Israel are currently "kicking ass" in various regions of the world. In countries where militarism is not a strong part of the culture (such as Canada, Sweden, Swizterland, etc.) the Military Wannabe will inevitably gripe about how his country's army "sucks" and how "cool" it would be to live in a country with a more powerful military. When not playing RPGs the Military Wannabe spends endless hours playing first-person shooters on his computer.

Hm' this gives me the idea of running a modern horror game where the PCs are gung-ho (but 1st level!) members of the Territorial Army Reserve (UK), on a field training weekend that goes horribly wrong...
I think there was a film along similar lines (Dog Soldiers) recently, might be worth renting.

 

[Dark Jezter]

1. THE GUN MUNCHKIN. This is a guy who loves guns. Adores them. Often he's a hunter, the kind of guy who's been killing animals since age 8 and considers it a sign of true masculinity to slit the throat of a wounded deer that is paralyzed with fright. In a d20 Modern adventure the Gun Munchkin always wants to know two things: (1) What kind of gun do I have? and (2) Can I also get______ (insert exotic gun type here)? A typical exchange between myself (as GM) and the Gun Munchkin goes something like this:
-----
Me: Okay, you kick down the door and find yourself in a small, cluttered storage room, lit poorly by a filthy bulb dangling from the end of a frayed rope.

Gun Munchkin: Are there any guns?

Me: Er, do you want to search the room?

Gun Munchkin: Yeah, I'll take 20 on a search. I'm hoping to find a Desert Eagle with .50 Action Express round, or perhaps (drool) a CZ61 Skorpion.

Me: Uh, sure. Anyway, you search the room and find no guns. However, you *do* find a very interesting--

Gun Munchkin: What? No guns? This sucks.
-----

I find Gun Munchkins almost impossible to cope with. They are even more obnoxious and annoying than Military Wannabes (though it's a close call). The Gun Munchkin is so detached from reality in his worship of firearms that if you offered him (a) One hour with an AK-47 assault rifle at a firing range or (b) One hour with the bikini-clad Olsen twins in a hot tub, he would, without hesitation, take the AK-47. Strange. Sad, even.

Yep, that's me all right. I can tell the difference between a Winchester and a Remington, and I shoot poor defenseless animals (also known as hunting). And guess what, I'd rather spend an hour at the firing range with an AK-47 than hot tubbing with the Olsen Twins*.

So, it dosen't sound like I'm the type of player who you would want to game with. But that's okay, because I don't think I'd like to have you as a GM.

On a side note, I must say that the "Brooding Anime Ninja Hero-Jerk" that Takyris listed is dead-on accurate, and hilarious.

* Vida Guerra or Heidi Klum, on the other hand...

 

[Atom Again]

And guess what, I'd rather spend an hour at the firing range with an AK-47 than hot tubbing with the Olsen Twins*.

Fool!

 

[Von Ether]

Good argument for cloning

 

[ledded]

Good argument for cloning

Is that 'argument', or 'example'?

This is just something unnatural about those two.

Maybe it's because I saw them first as young, young children on that TV show, and I now have children of my own, I dunno.

 

[Atom Again]

Is that 'argument', or 'example'?

This is just something unnatural about those two.

Heh heh. Some people say, "Ah, they just look like Barbie dolls." I say, "What's your point?"


Atom Again
[who is actually quite fond of living Barbie dolls]

 

[Dark Jezter]

Fool!

No, you are the fool!

 

[Hypersmurf]

Fool!

[shudder]

-Hyp.