"older" gamers

[Chupacabra]

If there is a Gaming Store around, many times they have an area in the store with a bulletin board where you can post that you are looking for a game -- or better yet, a website where you can post as well -- which is how I found my last 2 gaming groups after moving to new towns. Both times I was looking to join a group of somewhat older gamers (late 20s-to 30s) and both times I struck gold.

In your post just dont be shy about saying that you are looking to join / start a group with "mature gamers". Or hell, just state your age. This usually will weed out the 15 year old Ritalin-addicted powermunchkins who have to be dropped off at the gaming session by thier Mom. (Apologies to all those 15 year old Ritalin-addicted powermunchkins who may be reading this).

 

[Turanil]

This usually will weed out the 15 year old Ritalin-addicted powermunchkins who have to be dropped off at the gaming session by thier Mom. (Apologies to all those 15 year old Ritalin-addicted powermunchkins who may be reading this).

This reminds me of an anecdote. Long ago, I was playing in a club. We were all around 25 to 30 years old at that time, and were playing at night during the week. Since it was a club, it was open to anyone. As such, we once had that unknown child (around 12-13 years old I suppose) who came to play with us. He was absolutely odious, insulting other players (even if it was "in-character"), and we didn't say anything for we were baffled and too polite. We didn't know how to deal with that child we didn't know. Then, in the middle of the night his mum came and made a scandal for seeing him there. In fact, she had forbidden him to play, and he had discreetly escaped home to come to play with us during the night. While the mum screamed after him, we all watched silently, not saying anything, and waiting for the thing to end by itself.

 

[mythago]

It depends on where you live and your industry, I suspect.

But are you really sure all those folks would consider it "infantile"? Sometimes, I've found, we gamers tend to be a little defensive--people are themselves gamers, or don't know much about it but are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, or may initially think you weird but settle down when you tell them a bit about gaming.

Kids are a good cover, by the way.

 

[Bendris Noulg]

So how do you keep it going? Where do you find other gamers "your age," how do you nurture a gaming group with your particular maturity level, or learn to deal with being the oldest person around the table? Or what else do you do?

Generally, I'm not too worried about folks "my age" being at the table. Being mid-30's, and my gamer-wife being late 20's, we're generally content to aim at players 21+. We will dip-down to 18, if the individual is sufficiently intelligent and mature; we would go a tad lower, but I could see the parents of teenaged kids wondering why these older folks wanted to hang-out with them and being concerned, so we just don't go there (although, if my kids get into gaming, we'll probably run/host games for them and their friends, but that's still a good 5 years or so away).

 

[SALADIN THE JUST]

So how do you keep it going? Where do you find other gamers "your age," how do you nurture a gaming group with your particular maturity level, or learn to deal with being the oldest person around the table? Or what else do you do?

It appears to be a common problem for gamers that fall within this "older" category. I grew up with the fellas that I've been DMing, I got them started when we were all 17. Now in our 30s, the demands of work and family take its usual toll on gaming. We did make a committment to meet about twice a month. Now that I am based in the South Pacific, it will be some time before I can game with my original group or with any group for that matter, so in the mean time all I can do is sit and reminisce about the good ol' days. And when I do eventually go back home (Singapore), I suspect that most of them would have drifted away and become further entangled with the demands of work, family and life, hence it will be close to impossible trying to ressurect what we once had. I am as open to suggestions as DQ with regard to rallying older D&D gamers from where ever they may be hiding.

In the mean time if there are gamers in the Cook Island or in Singapore who are in the mid-20s and upwards and keen to form a group, please get in touch with me.

 

[monkeygrrl]

I guess we're lucky, we've kept together with gaming friends since high school, and we are now in our mid-30s. it's hard, if someone can't make it regularly because of RL, to find someone to replace them or fill in, though. I'd try the FLGS.

 

[knitnerd]

At 51, I think I am the oldest person on this board. I read about role-playing games in the late 70's and I still have the basic set I bought around 1982. No one I knew was interested in playing with me. There was a group at the local library around 1984 but those adolescents were not willing to play with anyone's mother. I finally got to play with my daughter's college group this winter. Through meetup.com I found a group of 20-30 year olds who were willing to accept me. Maybe they just like my lasagna.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I've been fortunate to have been with the same core group of gamers since 1986, despite the fact we've all moved to different cities apart from each other, some of have gotten married, gotten "real jobs", and have children. We're all back together in the same general area again, and I've not had to find a new group in a long time (there was a year I lived in St. Louis that became part of a new group...great folks and even though we didn't have a long time together, I had a blast with them!!). The joke among my group is we'll all somehow end up in an Old Gamers' Home somewhere, eating liquified junk food and having to have nursing assistants read our character sheets for us.

 

[Turanil]

The joke among my group is we'll all somehow end up in an Old Gamers' Home somewhere, eating liquified junk food and having to have nursing assistants read our character sheets for us.

LOL!

I have been wondering from times to times how much time I will be able to play anymore; will I still play at age 60+ ? Mmmmh... maybe I will have to emigrate to the US just for the purpose of still having gamers my age to play with.

 

[schnee]

You have to be flexible and easygoing about schedule. My group (mostly mid-30's, one 28-something, one 40-something) has been playing since 3.0 came out. We've had to take months off at a time due to things like new children and travel, but we always find a way to get back together eventually.

We try to do 'every other Friday', and each of us with families made whatever bargains/arrangements/concessions up-front to get the regular night off. We also have a rule that the game goes on if there's only one absent, and someone else plays their character.

As a DM I cut out as much bookkeeping as possible, so the focus is on the game itself - I'm using a 'you level every once in a while' scheme instead of scrupulously calculating XP; helps to fit prep time in with the rest of my life.

As far as finding players, you'd be surprised how many older gamers there are out there. We actually have more people interested than we can fit into our group, and we're not exactly advertising... we're just telling our friends what we do when they ask about our weekend.

I hear ya on the work awkwardness... I'm pretty circumspect about who knows, only because they might not be mature enough to understand the allure of what I call 'Geek Poker'.

Good luck.