OMG Nightmare player Help advice pls

[Sunseeker]

Yeah, pretty much SoL there, GM will always choose wife over game(if he's not a terrible husband.)

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Talk to the DM, then let him talk to his wife. The odds are good this game as dead, but maybe the DM and his wife can work out whatever issues there are that are causing her to try and sabotage the game.

 

[Chimera]

There is NO worse player than the DM's girlfriend or wife. I've been burned enough that I think I'd have a hard time playing in ANY group where the DM's SO also played.

There is quite literally nothing that you can do to change things. That's their dynamic, and you're trapped in it - well, only so much as you allow yourself to be. The only alternative is to leave.

 

[JoeGKushner]

DM's wife? The game is dead. Start a new game or find another group.

Sadly, this is my advice too. Mind you, I would talk to the GM about it with the wife there and get it all out and say something along the lines of her not seeming to enjoy it and essentailly she is killing the game for me so can you have her play when I'm not around, or something to that nature, but that's with the knowledge already that I'm getting in another game because this one is likely not going to go for the better.

 

[Chimera]

Talk to the DM, then let him talk to his wife. The odds are good this game as dead, but maybe the DM and his wife can work out whatever issues there are that are causing her to try and sabotage the game.

heh. Never works. I gamed with a couple where the wife deliberately sabotaged everything we did, then would giggle and smile at us about it. When I complained to the GM, he became very angry, defensive and personally offensive toward me about it, stating that the only reason he was running the game was to play with HER, so if I didn't like it, I could take a hike. It was only when I informed the other players of this and four of the five came back saying "it's really annoying, knock it off" that she reduced (but never stopped) the behavior.

Had another group come to a complete stop and almost break apart because the wife put her character in a suicidal position and then declared that she would make hubby's life a living hell if he killed her character - then made sure that we all knew that she wasn't kidding. Two of us actually said out loud that we weren't interested in playing with the group if that was the way things were and she still held to her guns. He killed her character and she stomped off in anger. I stopped playing within them a short time later for scheduling reasons.

 

[Diamond Cross]

She's definitely chaotic neutral.

And you should leave the group. It's pretty much a standard rpg rule that the DM will always favor the significant other.

You see, too many women are not satisfied with anything other than she must be her man's only world, and will do whatever she can to disrupt anything else the man does.

For example, my friend had a nice collection of model ships that he proudly displayed. His wife started saying that was all he cared about and didn't care anything about her and that her doctor said he was suffering from clinical depression when that wasn't true at all. Eventually he relented and I keep those models for him. In fact he had to eventually get rid of all his gaming books and other games or she wouldn't sleep with him and spread all kinds of lies about him.

Eventually he dropped her and moved away.

 

[Vartan]

I don't believe that playing with the DM's wife/girlfriend is always doomed to failure, but if the DM's significant other is such a disruptive force in the game then (as others have said above) there's really little reason to think that the situation will be resolved. Dealing with problem players is challenging enough, and nobody should really ever be asked to take that challenge up with their spouse. Honestly, I wonder why your DM hasn't ended the game himself.

My advice is also to find another game or start your own.

 

[Oryan77]

The best thing to do in a situation like this is to seduce the wife or girlfriend.

Then tell the DM that this has been going on for quite a while and that you sincerely regret it. It helps if you even say things like, "I'm actually not the only person she's been with."

Hopefully they'll get a divorce or break up. Then she'll probably meet some sugar daddy that'll support her while she works on becoming a beautician or a veterinarian (aka working at a pet store). And because of the man code, and because you'll buy him beer and talk it out with him, the DM will continue to DM you guys.

Then you will be gaming great until the DM meets a new chick.

 

[roguerouge]

Buy the DM a beer. Then another. Then a third. Then, when gaming comes up, say to him:

"Dude? Dude. No, no... Dude."

He'll understand that this is serious and that he needs to get a divorce. That should fix things nicely.

 

[fanboy2000]

My advice? Leave.

If you don't want to leave, I have another solution, but it's a bit risky and should be played subtly.

Ask her for help. Ask her for help in game and out of game. Make it simple, make it plausible. I suspect that it's possible you have something in common with her, find out what it is and ask her for help with it. It could be a book (e.g. "hey you got that 'Wheel of Time' book! Can I barrow it?") It could something else.

My reason is fairly simple, people like someone better if they've been asked to help them. There's a story (I suspect it's apocryphal) about Ben Franklin asking to barrow a book from a political rival to get on his good side. It worked.

Anyways, it's a risky strategy, and it requires more work than you may want to put into it. But there you go.