[One-shot] Marvel Superheroes: The Providence Protectors
- Thread starter Dr Midnight
- Start date
Breakstone
First Post
Ah, how I love stuperheroes...
Broccli_Head
Explorer
Doc, I love the way you write!
I am enjoying the story. Thanks for the fun! Can't wait until you post more.
I am enjoying the story. Thanks for the fun! Can't wait until you post more.
Dr Midnight
Explorer
Note- from here on out, the story’s going to move much quicker. It was just a goofy one-shot, and I have to free up all the writing time I can for the return of my serious ongoing campaign. Please bear with me and enjoy the remainder of this story hour for what it is.
More to come tonight. Till then:
More to come tonight. Till then:
Dr Midnight
Explorer
Issue 2
“I was told some super-schmucks might show up, but I never dreamed I’d be up against this crew of NEW MUTANTS rejects!” He laughed and stepped up to the elevator column in the center of the catwalk. He swung his mighty green tail back and smashed the column to so much flying bits of cement, sheet metal and plaster.
Hollywood rushed forward to try to defend Roboto with his rock-hard (and perfectly tanned) torso, but the shrapnel sprayed the robotic hero and blew out two more of the lights on his weird colorful chest-disco. His eyes glowed red with robot fury, as Dennis De Young of Styx was sure to program him with the proper emotional reactions.
Captain Caffeine vaulted up the escalator (no, not the elevator, stupid… the escalator) and smashed the Scorpion’s head with a coffee pot.
Hollywood spread his chest hair to the walls to anchor himself, then used his HEAD hair to pull himself back, slowly, slowly… then he released. The slingshot he’d made shot him into the air to land on the catwalk, fifteen feet from the Scorpion.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that green is NOT your color?” Hollywood said with a sassy flip of his Lorenzo Lamas hair and a flash of perfect white teeth.
The Arachnid webbed a pipe from the rubble of the elevator and whipped it toward the Scorpion, but he clanged it out of the way just in time with his tail. Oooh! Like Aragorn! Remember that one time, when he, like, totally deflects that knife that the orc threw? Remember that? It’s TOTALLY like that.
Down below, Mr. Roboto was working through his anger. He got behind a merchant cart- one of the automated photo-booth machines that “sketches” your picture for you. He put both claws on it and rocketed forward, smashing mooks, goons, thugs, and henchmen flying. He blasted one into a wall. A little piece of paper fell politely into a tray on the machine… it had the thug’s astonished face sketched onto it.
A thug fired his gun at Hollywood, who pivoted on one heel to move his body to a defensive position. PTHNG! The bullet ricocheted off of Hollywood’s diamond-hard nipple (both of which were always exposed by his dashingly cut suit) and lodged itself in the astonished thug’s forehead. THUCK!
Another thug swung at the Arachnid with a pipe and overbalanced himself. The ever-agile she-spider sidestepped and nudged his back. He toppled forward through the window and plummeted seven stories into the river below, pinwheeling his arms because at that point he was being played by a professional stuntman.
The Scorpion tried to slap Captain Caffeine off the catwalk, but the Folgers Wonder was so jacked up that he vibrated out of the way lightning-quick.
The Arachnid began sensing something else. Another dangerous presence… nearby. Her acute hearing picked out the high-pitched whine of an incoming aircraft.
Hollywood leaned back and willed the powerful follicles on his chest to lift, expand… and conquer. His chest hair blossomed outwards above the Scorpion, who ducked and said “Missed me, ya pansy!” Hollywood grinned, then flexed. His powerful chest hair ripped down the fifteen-foot wide circular Dave & Buster’s sign to crash down upon the villain. The Arachnid cartwheeled forward and webbed the Scorpion to the ground while he was dazed. She then looked up, as her… uh… spider precognition was… wiggling. Whatever was coming was coming very quickly, and would soon be-
BOOOOM!!!
Three large explosions went off by the railing overlooking the seven-story drop that Hollywood had climbed up earlier. Through the smoke flew a madman with a purple and orange suit, riding a small winged aircraft. The hobgoblin!
“I’m poseable!”
“What the hell?” asked Captain Caffeine. “The Hobgoblin? This completely defies Marvel continuity.”
“Does not compute!” buzzed Mr. Roboto. “Surrender to the Providence Protectors!”
The Hobgoblin laughed like Mark Hamill and flew towards them. “Hahahahah!!! You’ll never defeat me… or our wicked plan.”
The Arachnid shot a web at his glider. “C’mon, Hobgoblin, no time for lies!” she shouted.
Hollywood leapt into the air at the glider, his chest hair whipping towards the ‘goblin… but missed, and plummeted to the ground. Captain Caffeine popped a bunch of Vivarin pills, chewed them in .03 seconds flat, and used the burst of ?energy? to whirlwind up and catch Hollywood in mid-fall. Hollywood locked his arms around CapCaf’s neck and gave him a peck on the cheek.
The Hobgoblin looked down at the guy who had attacked him with chest hair and grunted “Oh, that is disgusting” under his breath. He pulled out a pumpkin bomb and flung it at the two heroes. Mr. Roboto’s separable rocket claw fired from the end of his arm, intent on catching the bomb and whizzing it back to its sender… but he missed. The claw flew into a huge metal pipe in the ceiling and lodged there. The pumpkin bomb detonated between the two valiant Protectors… but Hollywood’s tough skin and Captain Caffeine’s manic speed saved them from any real damage.
The Arachnid swung across the expanse and landed on the glider beside the Hobgoblin. She socked him in the mouth, and a tooth flew from his head. “Gah! You’ll never win!” he said.
Mr. Roboto called his rocket claw back to him. The power in the macromagnets pulled the entire pipe loose from the ceiling, and it swung like a pendulum down towards the ‘goblin and Arachnid. The pipe missed by inches.
The Arachnid continued the good fight, but became quite alarmed when her sp… uh… sense that is not unlike a spider’s warned her of yet ANOTHER incoming enemy, this time far more deadly. “Guys, we’ve got to wrap him up quickly… we’ve got someone else coming in to play!”
Hollywood used his chest hair to rip a cash register from a nearby counter and hurl it at the flying fiend. It missed and smashed into the IMAX theater sign behind him, to a shower of bright yellow sparks.
Captain Caffeine concentrated and generated a cup of intensely hot coffee. He flung it at the Hobgoblin, but the villain ducked, and it splashed all over the Arachnid. She cursed CapCaf out, but managed to make use of one of her lesser-used powers: energy absorption. She absorbed the heat of the coffee and only searing pain instead of slightly more searing pain.
Hobgoblin threw three of his razorbats at Mr. Roboto, but the bats clanged off of Roboto’s metal shell.
“Curses… I can’t seem to injure any of you, can I?” cackled that jerk the Hobgoblin. “Well, we’ve got all day, haven’t we? Hahaha-“ He then was struck by a bright green beam from beyond the immense window, and exploded. The Arachnid flipped out of the way in time and landed on her feet.
“What did that?” asked Hollywood.
“It’s the other enemy I warned you about before, I think…” said Arachnid. Even now, they could hear the sounds of another set of personal jetwear coming closer. “Protectors, be ready for anything!”
“FOOOOLS!!!” came a thundering voice.
Dr. Doom lowered himself to the window and peered inside, glaring with hatred.
Mr. Roboto said it best, just then: “Crap.”
Next Issue: THE FURY OF DR. DOOM!!!
“I was told some super-schmucks might show up, but I never dreamed I’d be up against this crew of NEW MUTANTS rejects!” He laughed and stepped up to the elevator column in the center of the catwalk. He swung his mighty green tail back and smashed the column to so much flying bits of cement, sheet metal and plaster.
Hollywood rushed forward to try to defend Roboto with his rock-hard (and perfectly tanned) torso, but the shrapnel sprayed the robotic hero and blew out two more of the lights on his weird colorful chest-disco. His eyes glowed red with robot fury, as Dennis De Young of Styx was sure to program him with the proper emotional reactions.
Captain Caffeine vaulted up the escalator (no, not the elevator, stupid… the escalator) and smashed the Scorpion’s head with a coffee pot.
Hollywood spread his chest hair to the walls to anchor himself, then used his HEAD hair to pull himself back, slowly, slowly… then he released. The slingshot he’d made shot him into the air to land on the catwalk, fifteen feet from the Scorpion.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you that green is NOT your color?” Hollywood said with a sassy flip of his Lorenzo Lamas hair and a flash of perfect white teeth.
The Arachnid webbed a pipe from the rubble of the elevator and whipped it toward the Scorpion, but he clanged it out of the way just in time with his tail. Oooh! Like Aragorn! Remember that one time, when he, like, totally deflects that knife that the orc threw? Remember that? It’s TOTALLY like that.
Down below, Mr. Roboto was working through his anger. He got behind a merchant cart- one of the automated photo-booth machines that “sketches” your picture for you. He put both claws on it and rocketed forward, smashing mooks, goons, thugs, and henchmen flying. He blasted one into a wall. A little piece of paper fell politely into a tray on the machine… it had the thug’s astonished face sketched onto it.
A thug fired his gun at Hollywood, who pivoted on one heel to move his body to a defensive position. PTHNG! The bullet ricocheted off of Hollywood’s diamond-hard nipple (both of which were always exposed by his dashingly cut suit) and lodged itself in the astonished thug’s forehead. THUCK!
Another thug swung at the Arachnid with a pipe and overbalanced himself. The ever-agile she-spider sidestepped and nudged his back. He toppled forward through the window and plummeted seven stories into the river below, pinwheeling his arms because at that point he was being played by a professional stuntman.
The Scorpion tried to slap Captain Caffeine off the catwalk, but the Folgers Wonder was so jacked up that he vibrated out of the way lightning-quick.
The Arachnid began sensing something else. Another dangerous presence… nearby. Her acute hearing picked out the high-pitched whine of an incoming aircraft.
Hollywood leaned back and willed the powerful follicles on his chest to lift, expand… and conquer. His chest hair blossomed outwards above the Scorpion, who ducked and said “Missed me, ya pansy!” Hollywood grinned, then flexed. His powerful chest hair ripped down the fifteen-foot wide circular Dave & Buster’s sign to crash down upon the villain. The Arachnid cartwheeled forward and webbed the Scorpion to the ground while he was dazed. She then looked up, as her… uh… spider precognition was… wiggling. Whatever was coming was coming very quickly, and would soon be-
BOOOOM!!!
Three large explosions went off by the railing overlooking the seven-story drop that Hollywood had climbed up earlier. Through the smoke flew a madman with a purple and orange suit, riding a small winged aircraft. The hobgoblin!
“I’m poseable!”
“What the hell?” asked Captain Caffeine. “The Hobgoblin? This completely defies Marvel continuity.”
“Does not compute!” buzzed Mr. Roboto. “Surrender to the Providence Protectors!”
The Hobgoblin laughed like Mark Hamill and flew towards them. “Hahahahah!!! You’ll never defeat me… or our wicked plan.”
The Arachnid shot a web at his glider. “C’mon, Hobgoblin, no time for lies!” she shouted.
Hollywood leapt into the air at the glider, his chest hair whipping towards the ‘goblin… but missed, and plummeted to the ground. Captain Caffeine popped a bunch of Vivarin pills, chewed them in .03 seconds flat, and used the burst of ?energy? to whirlwind up and catch Hollywood in mid-fall. Hollywood locked his arms around CapCaf’s neck and gave him a peck on the cheek.
The Hobgoblin looked down at the guy who had attacked him with chest hair and grunted “Oh, that is disgusting” under his breath. He pulled out a pumpkin bomb and flung it at the two heroes. Mr. Roboto’s separable rocket claw fired from the end of his arm, intent on catching the bomb and whizzing it back to its sender… but he missed. The claw flew into a huge metal pipe in the ceiling and lodged there. The pumpkin bomb detonated between the two valiant Protectors… but Hollywood’s tough skin and Captain Caffeine’s manic speed saved them from any real damage.
The Arachnid swung across the expanse and landed on the glider beside the Hobgoblin. She socked him in the mouth, and a tooth flew from his head. “Gah! You’ll never win!” he said.
Mr. Roboto called his rocket claw back to him. The power in the macromagnets pulled the entire pipe loose from the ceiling, and it swung like a pendulum down towards the ‘goblin and Arachnid. The pipe missed by inches.
The Arachnid continued the good fight, but became quite alarmed when her sp… uh… sense that is not unlike a spider’s warned her of yet ANOTHER incoming enemy, this time far more deadly. “Guys, we’ve got to wrap him up quickly… we’ve got someone else coming in to play!”
Hollywood used his chest hair to rip a cash register from a nearby counter and hurl it at the flying fiend. It missed and smashed into the IMAX theater sign behind him, to a shower of bright yellow sparks.
Captain Caffeine concentrated and generated a cup of intensely hot coffee. He flung it at the Hobgoblin, but the villain ducked, and it splashed all over the Arachnid. She cursed CapCaf out, but managed to make use of one of her lesser-used powers: energy absorption. She absorbed the heat of the coffee and only searing pain instead of slightly more searing pain.
Hobgoblin threw three of his razorbats at Mr. Roboto, but the bats clanged off of Roboto’s metal shell.
“Curses… I can’t seem to injure any of you, can I?” cackled that jerk the Hobgoblin. “Well, we’ve got all day, haven’t we? Hahaha-“ He then was struck by a bright green beam from beyond the immense window, and exploded. The Arachnid flipped out of the way in time and landed on her feet.
“What did that?” asked Hollywood.
“It’s the other enemy I warned you about before, I think…” said Arachnid. Even now, they could hear the sounds of another set of personal jetwear coming closer. “Protectors, be ready for anything!”
“FOOOOLS!!!” came a thundering voice.
Dr. Doom lowered himself to the window and peered inside, glaring with hatred.
Mr. Roboto said it best, just then: “Crap.”
Next Issue: THE FURY OF DR. DOOM!!!
