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One Thousand Ways to Freak Out Your Players

934. In honor of National Talk Like a Pirate(Cat) Day: Start your gaming session thusly:

Aye! Today be the day to prepare the plank and ready the chum!
There be enemies abreast and I'm about to prepare the platter! There be new plebs about, and 'tis green ahoy!

All hands on deck and there be no holdin' the turmoil! All ye greenies must be steady on the cant!

Loose translation:

New campaign starting TONIGHT! Everyone has to talk like a pirate for the entire sesssion!
 

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937. Introduce a 7ft tall, 400 lb, furry, fanged Tasslehoff to your game.
938. Make it so that the players objective is to protect the creature from 937 'untill I return'.
 


941.) Create a village in which every NPC is actually a doppelganger. The PCs crash in the village for the night and the next morning, everyone in town looks just like PC A. At noon, all of them simultaneously turn into PC B (except any that the PCs can see, who wait until the PCs are out of sight before they change). At dusk, they all turn into PC C. Wash, rinse, repeat.

942.) Have the PCs sent to a cave to discover a lost bit of lore. Guarding the cave is a rabbit with big nasty sharp pointy teeth (rarr!).

943.) "This world has no horses. All long-distance transportation is done via the miracle of the Gnomish Catapult Air Express."

944.) Make sure the Gnomish Catapult Air Express has lots of connections on its flights.

945.) Every NPC uses the GCAE - "what, it's no big deal! We do it all the time! Perfectly safe!"

946.) When the PCs use the GCAE to get from place to place, every town is filled with doppelgangers that look like a given PC. Thanks to scrying "technocery" they change just before the PC arrives to look like him.

947.) Make drow irrevocably good and all high elves irrevocably evil.

948.) Say, "no elf PCs!"

949.) The PCs encounter a round black sphere with a candle wick (burning) sticking out of it. When the wick burns down, the sphere changes color to green and yellow polkadots with red lettering saying, "boom!" on it.

950.) No NPC ever uses pronouns or proper nouns when referring to people - only names. IOW, it's never, "what can I do for you gentlemen" at the bar, but rather "what can I do for Thron the Mighty, Feldspar the Wimpy, and Sir Robin the not-quite-so-brave-as-sir-lancelot?" Then, "we thank Thron the Mighty, for Thron the Mighty's patronage of Hippy Bob's Tavern on the Hill." Works especially well when NPCs should have no reason to know the PCs' full names and titles.

951.) As above, but also mention something the PCs did last week, as in "what can I do for Thron the Mighty who yesterday slew the Bonzo the orc chieftan, Feldspar the Wimpy who not six hours ago deflowered Princess Virginia in the barn behind the third watchtower on King Steven's summer estate, and Sir Robin the not-quite-so-brave-as-sir-lancelot who choked on last Tuesday's undercooked supper and lied about enjoying it."
 
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952: Talk like a bad narrator of a hidden camera show, to the point of giving away importent information.
"What the party doesn't know is that there is a huge red dragon behind that door! Let's watch!"

953: Talk like a bad host of a Survivor TV show. Ask your players to vote a member off after each game.

954: Talk like the narrator of a bad nature documentery.
"As the fearless owlbear stalks its prey, you can see the distinctive plumage of the Northern Spotted variety, currently in danger of extinction due to regional overlogging."
 

955. Just as the heroes draw near to the last few miles of their 1000 mile journey, tell them "On second thought, that's just too easy - let's make it 10,000 instead."

:p
 


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