Only play with people you'd be friends with...

[Chimera]

I see this over and over in threads.

Why?

Why be so isolated and restrictive in your thinking? Why NOT game with people completely outside your social circle? Broaden your horizons!

Sure, they might suck. Hard. But so might you! So too some of the people you do hang out with. How will you ever know what kind of cool and interesting people you might find, befriend, come to know, if you stick only to what you know?

GROW! Play with people you don't socialize with. People you don't work with. People you wouldn't necessarily invite to dinner. People you don't like! Learn how to deal with it. Their quirks, their strange ways of thinking. Listen to their oddball logic and opinions. And maybe, just maybe, you might learn something about yourself in the process. Or grow beyond your established mental patterns.

 

[Knoxgamer]

I do this because i'm far less likely to have a personality conflict with someone I could be friends with. Interpersonal conflict, and the politics it often spawns, is not enjoyable for me. Considering that roleplaying is a hobby and is meant to be fun, and I want to maximize that fun, I choose to play with people and groups that I do and will continue to get along with best.

I think this is simply a matter of people having different goals. My goal, when roleplaying, is to relax and enjoy myself. If my goal were to expose myself to the broadest range of thinking amongst people willing to roleplay, I would certainly go with your approach.

 

[Janx]

As I just gave this advice mere minutes ago in a previous thread...

I wouldn't say such advice means to avoid new people. Nor would I suggest it to mean avoid people outside your social norm.

The way I interpret it is that you should not get in a serious ongoing, regular campaign with someone you can't get along with. Someone who creeps you out. Someone who is just unpleasant to play with.

A good rule of life is, suround yourself with people you like. Don't hang around negative people and negative things. You'll be happier.

I may put up with an annoying person at a game shop, while I survey the gaming scene. I may even play a 1 shot game with such people at the shop, while I get to know everybody.

I will not invite such people to my house for my real campaign. I will not play regularly with people I don't like, as they will take away the fun.

I've seen games crash because of unpleasant people. This is one reason WotC surveys show campaigns last about a year.

Whereas, I've been in campaigns that lasted 14 years. I still game with these people (and we're 1500 miles away). My own campaign is hitting the one year mark, and running strong. Why? Because I'm friends with all the players. And my current campaign is with new people. But I'm friends with them. And that makes all the difference.

Janx

 

[Old Fezziwig]

Why be so isolated and restrictive in your thinking? Why NOT game with people completely outside your social circle? Broaden your horizons!

I'll buy this. And, although I agree with some of this, you really lose me in and around here:

GROW! Play with people you don't socialize with. People you don't work with. People you wouldn't necessarily invite to dinner. People you don't like! Learn how to deal with it. Their quirks, their strange ways of thinking. Listen to their oddball logic and opinions. And maybe, just maybe, you might learn something about yourself in the process. Or grow beyond your established mental patterns.

I'm not sure that the original argument is that folks shouldn't play with anyone but their friends, but that folks shouldn't stay in groups where they don't get along with people or they don't like the people. At least that's how I've always interpreted it. I'm all for playing with new people for a few sessions or what not, but at a certain point, if I'm not going to socialize with them or I don't like them, why in the world would I continue gaming with them? I would certainly hope that I would like them and find them enjoyable, but I'm not going to force myself to spend time with people I don't like out of some sort of self-imposed obligation to broaden my horizons. Especially if hanging out with the folks I'm not crazy about prevents me from meeting folks that I'd like very much.

Nick

 

[Prince of Happiness]

For my girlfriend and I, we get kinda squicky about who we let into our home. Plus, being considered a "weirdo" already, I don't really need to expand all that much with people outside social sphere considering that I'm pretty much already out of my social comfort zone where ever I go. I manage to get passed off as a likable, friendly sort though, amazingly enough. I also already have a pretty diverse social group already, that seems to grow and change all the time (not enough gamers, or more precisely, not enough D&D gamers...le sigh).

 

[mac1504]

I see this over and over in threads.

Why?

Why be so isolated and restrictive in your thinking? Why NOT game with people completely outside your social circle? Broaden your horizons!

Sure, they might suck. Hard. But so might you! So too some of the people you do hang out with. How will you ever know what kind of cool and interesting people you might find, befriend, come to know, if you stick only to what you know?

GROW! Play with people you don't socialize with. People you don't work with. People you wouldn't necessarily invite to dinner. People you don't like! Learn how to deal with it. Their quirks, their strange ways of thinking. Listen to their oddball logic and opinions. And maybe, just maybe, you might learn something about yourself in the process. Or grow beyond your established mental patterns.

Sorry, but I put up with quirks, strange ways, annoying habits and oddball logic at work and in many other aspects of my life, I don't want to put up with it in my favorite pastime and hobby. I role-play with friends (who I met through this site, so they are not from my usual social circle of friends or people I work with) because they allow me to relax and have fun, not pull my hair out and scream. I'm all for diversity and expanding your mind, but after a long week of experiencing different personalities all week long, I want to enjoy my game time with friends that all get along. In the end, even though I might tolerate players with the traits you describe, someone will end up pissing someone else off and then there's flying dice. And you know what happens when the dice start to fly...

 

[Crothian]

These are people I invite into my houses. These are people I have to make sure I can trust with my friends kids when we play over there. I can't game with just anyone. Also, my campiagns are potentially year plus commitments. I know I can trust my friends to be there every week and to give me plenty of warning if they cannot be there. And if the warning is very last minute I know I there is a damn good reason for it. They don't flake out on me. I game with friends becasue I am comfortible with them and know I can tell them exactly how I feel and even if it pisses them off inititally, the friendship will last. And the same is true with them talking to me.

Conventions and Gamedays gives me the chance to game with the everyman. But for my weekly campaigns that I spend thousands of dollars on books for and doezens of man hours preparing, I want people I knopw and who I trust will be there, have fun, and not ruin it.

 

[Caliban]

I prefer playing with people I don't actually like. It makes interparty conflicts much more cathartic!

 

[Desdichado]

I think you're taking the sentiment a bit out of context. We're not that insular. 50% of my current group that I run for I met through ENWorld, as a matter of fact, so they weren't my friends first and then in my group later; rather it was a little bit the other way around.

However, I still strongly agree with the sentiment; life's too short to play with a bunch of jerks. Everyone I've gamed with regularly, whether they started out as close friends or not, was someone that grew to become friends, because we had enough in common that we actually enjoyed being together, chatting before, after (and during) the game, and generally doing more than simply playing and then turning around and going home.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

I'd rather game with people I know and like. I get enough jerks and various other euphemisms not appropriate for these boards while I'm at work. Why should I spend 5-8 hours gaming with them???