Opinions sought: Much younger players?

[Hussar]

Jeff - just to echo a common sentiment here - I think you acted entirely appropriately. Well done you. You approached the parents and got their ok which is incredibly excellent. kudos.

 

[Harmon]

Jeff - just to echo a common sentiment here - I think you acted entirely appropriately. Well done you. You approached the parents and got their ok which is incredibly excellent. kudos.

Well stated by so many.

My one suggestion leave the door open for the parents to come in and watch. Otherwise <thumbs up> you are doing a great job.

 

[Tewligan]

I've found that in any players that have expressed interest in a roleplaying game I've been involved in typically shared with me an interest in roleplaying, gaming and usually whatever genre the game is set in. Maybe your experience is different.

Now, there often are play style differences. However, I tend to find that is more often an issue with older gamers than younger players. Often younger players don't have a set gaming style, or soon adjust to the preferred gaming style of the group. Older players tend to be a bit more set in their ways.

Well yeah, sure there's going to at least THAT one common interest between me and a 13-year-old if he also wants to sit at a table and pretend to kill orcs. That's so obvious that it's not even really noteworthy. It's not just a matter of just liking the same game, though. That 13-year-old certainly won't have anything like the same frame of reference as I do when talking about non-game things. Your experience may be different, but gaming for me is a social activity - in addition to rolling the dice, I also like to chat with the people I'm at the table with. The nice new restaurant my girlfriend and I went to, something that happened at work, everyone meeting for drinks on a non-game night, whatever - conversational topics that someone so far removed from my age group either can't relate to or isn't able to participate in. I have nothing against younger players, I'm just not especially interested in spending my valuable free time with someone with which I have no connection beyond happening to be in the same adventuring party.

 

[Jack7]

"Um, I'm standing right here. Right exactly here."

Made me laugh. The way you said that. I wasn't speaking to you though, but to the question, or implication directed at my conclusion, or how I arrived at it. That's why I spoke about you in the third person. Don't take that wrong. My response was not directed to you, but about how I arrived at my conclusion about you and gaming given the information available.

Yes, gaming is my primary -- but not only -- recreational activity and the means by which I spend about eight to twelve hours a week with my closest friends. Objectively speaking, as much as possible, that doesn't seem excessive to me.

Then my conclusion was accurate. That said however, now that a time frame has been added to the dates given, that is a normal work day, plus overtime, spent gaming, every weekend.

Now spread over two days that's approximately 4 to 6 hours per day.
Since I game, and given the implications you made about multiple players, I know this is not necessarily a huge amount of time spent per game. Assuming a fairly large group of players that is probably moving pretty fast per game. But add in preparation time, etc., and the fact that your weekends are probably the time you would most likely have open for other activities, given your point about working a lot, and I objectively see your girlfriend's point about disapproving. Now she might not disapprove of gaming per se so much as she might kinda disapprove of the time consumed. I don't know that, but it seems a distinct possibility.

Don't get me wrong, because I don't know anything more than what you've said here on this message board, but assuming your expressed the situation correctly from your point of view, and I have no doubt that you did just that, I can still see both your point, and the point of view of your girlfriend. You're mistaken if you assume I'm being disapproving of your actions (if you have made that assumption) but I am trying to give you an objective, non-involved assessment of how you have described the situation. When you say objectively speaking, that doesn't seem excessive to you, then that is really a subjective conclusion. That is you still being subjective but trying to be as objective as possible from your point of view. And there's nothing wrong with that because it is almost impossible for anyone who is directly involved in any matter to divorce themselves from the matter and be truly objective. That's just being human. I'm not saying it is excessive either, given your situation or the other factors involved (which I don't know), but I can easily see how others could draw that conclusion. It's something to think about anyway, especially from the point of view of your girlfriend. I'm not saying you're right, or wrong, just that everyone has a different idea of excessive, and that might be something worth considering. I'm trying to encourage you to consider the situation from all points of view, because in this particular circumstance I can see how everybody can be partially right, and everyone can be partially wrong.

As to the kids playing I suspect that with the mother it will probably come down to a similar issue, not the game itself but how much time will be spent on it.

So ... how about that local sports team?

They're really nothing to brag about. So I won't bother.
But there's always hope...

 

[Zaukrie]

I skimmed most of the posts: sorry if this repeats others.

I think you handled it correctly Jeff. I have two boys, 10 and 11, and I DM for them, but there is only 1 other adult there (with other kids).

I'd be ok with them playing with other adults, if I knew the other adults, and observed a session. I'd want to know the tone of the encounters/maturity of the obstacles they face, and I'd want to see how the adults interacted with each other (language, jokes, general appropriateness). If the mother does contact you, you might want to suggest she watch one session, so she can understand the situation and properly judge its appropriateness for her children.

 

[Mark]

So ... how about that local sports team?

That star player is a top-notch athlete. Do you think they can achieve victory in post-season competition?

 

[irdeggman]

It's sad enough, that you actually have to worry about this.

Bye
Thanee

QFT


It will probably be the next Lifetime movie of the week too.

Something with Tom Hanks I think. . . .

My son started when he was 10 (he's 16 now) another person in our gaming group did the same with his sons (and they are in their 20s now) another one has added in his 3 sons, the youngest is around 10 and the oldest is a Marine.


None of have any girls though. . . .hmm maybe there is a pattern here

 

[Barendd Nobeard]

Just keep an open door policy, like a Day Care Center.

And by that, I mean: The parent is free to stop in, unannounced, at any time when the kids are playing at your place.

And I see that Varianor Abroad has made the same suggestion.