[OT] 101 ways to tell someone "Crystal doesn't live here."

[PA]

Re: I left myself open for this one...

An email I just got:

From: PA <pa_games@hotmail.com>
To: notlikeits@hardtofindout
Subject: Keep in touch! ^_^

Hi, Crystal, dear... So, how have you been since you moved to Pittsburgh? Do you like it better than Lowell? Bet you do! Are you still studying bio-chemistry? What are you doing for Christmas?

Some people really have a weiiird sense of humor.

 

[EricNoah]

Um, folks, off-topic or not, you still have to keep it clean. My grandma is getting a little uncomfortable... I'm deleting one that's just too far for my taste...

 

[Drawmack]

When they ask for Crystal tell them you prefer pewter and begin to rant about the evils of crystal.

Pretend you only speak the affrican clicking language.

Ask them to hold on, then use a high voice and shout through your hand. Then ask them if they understood or if they would like you to open the trunk.

Get caller ID, my guess is that this is an ingeniously engineered plot by someone you told about the old callers, or possibly that the callers were a joke all along.

 

[LostSoul]

Say, "Crystal?" Then fire your gun. "Not any more."

 

[Skullfyre]

Say, "Crystal?" Then fire your gun. "Not any more."

ROFL

 

[Number47]

Tell them Crystal is in the bathroom, then set the phone down and leave. Every 15 or 20 minutes check to see if they are still waiting. I do this with Telemarketers all the time.

Please don't do this, people. The folks who make the telemarketing calls are ordinary people with a REALLY crappy job. I had to take a job doing surveys for a while, which is just under telemarketing in annoying people. These people get paid according to how many completes they get an hour. The quicker you get them off the phone and get your number off their list, the happier you BOTH will be.

It is the telemarketing companies that are evil, not the poor schmoe on the phone who desperately needs to buy food for his family.

 

[LostSoul]

Please don't do this, people. The folks who make the telemarketing calls are ordinary people with a REALLY crappy job.

Yep. I once went out with a girl who worked for a telemarketing firm. She said that they had to wait for three "no"s before they could let you go.

The best thing to do with telemarketers would be to tell them as often as you can that you don't want the service they are promoting. They'll let you go. If, after three "no"s, they don't let you go, then I think you're free to tell them "I don't want to speak with you any longer; goodbye," and then hang up.

 

[Kilmore]

Um, did you ever call your own phone number and see if Crystal answered?

 

[Dark Psion]

Get caller ID, tell people that Crystal has moved and begin to give out the phone number of the previous person that has called for Crystal...

Doesn't work if they are drunk and calling at 3 AM.

"Is Alex there? Alex pick up the phone! I know you are there Alex, come on."

I used to get call in orders for Braums, I just never had the heart to take the order and run out there and wait for the person to come in for it.

 

[Telgian]

Originally posted by drnuncheon
So, I used to live in Lowell, MA. (pause to collect sympathies from those familiar with the area)

Ouch. My sympathies as well.