[OT] Answering Machine (Need Ideas)

[Cthulhu's Librarian]

A friend of mine has the vocabulary word of the week on her answering machine (she's an English teacher). The message goes something like this:

"Hello, you have reached Lori's answering machine. The vocabulary word of the week is IMAGINARY. Definition: Having existence only in the imagination; unreal. Please leave a message using the word IMAGINARY, and I'll get back to you."

She changes the message periodically (not weekly, like she should based on the message). The word is usually exotic or uncommon enough that you have to think a second before fitting it into your message. Its funny the first couple times, but hearing the same word over and over again can get annoying, so she really needs to change it on a more consistant basis.

Some of the messages she has received have been quite funny.

 

[Nifft]

Two of my best original messages:

Current: "Leave a message, because machines need love too. BEEP!"

Recent Past: "Brevity is the soul of -- BEEP!"

-- N

 

[der_kluge]

One of my wife's (then girlfriend's) previous phone numbers used to be a prayer hotline number. So, she would occasionally get numbers for people looking for the prayer hotline.

So, I made my answering machine message in response to that.

"Hello, you've reached the prayer hotline.
If you want to pray to Jesus, press 1 now.
If you want to pray to Satan, press 2 now.
If you want to pray to a lesser, miscellaneous god, please remain on the line, and a pagan will speak with you shortly."

 

[Pielorinho]

A friend of mine, back when cute messages were trendy, set up his soundblaster card in his computer to say,

"Hello, this is _____'s Answering Machine; I cannot answer the phone right now - I am having sex with the Microwave. Leave a Message."

Another fun one we set up involved recording a normal message ("Hi, this is Daniel, Luke, and Jac; leave a message!") on my brother's computer, playing it over itself several times run through different filters, recording the words "pain!" "death!" "submit!" and so forth and running them through different filters at much lower volumes, and generally turning it into our best System-Shock computer voice.

Daniel

 

[Aeolius]

Back in college, I tried changing the message on my machine weekly. One time, I simply screamed maniacally into the microphone. Later that week I had a message, apparently a wrong number, from a person who politely screamed maniacally in response to my message. I had to change that one, when my grandmother complained.