[OT] This is unbelievably funny, to me.
- Thread starter jgbrowning
- Start date
Paladin
Explorer
There is already a song from the Footloose soundtrack called "i need a hero"...why don'y you just rewrite that?Xarlen said:I had considered doing 'I'm a Telepath' to Maniac, but I don't have the lyrics and bet it wouldn't be as amusing.
Maybe change the words to 'I Need A Hero'?
Fast Learner
First Post
We Will Smite You
Not quite what you asked for, but it fits your name:
We Will Smite You
By Fast Learner
(Sung to the tune of "We Will Rock You" by Queen)
(Aah)
Evil is your name, y'ain't got game
Killin' innocents gonna be a big man some day
You got vile on yo' face
You big disgrace
Detectin' your kind all over the place
(Singin')
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
You're blows ain't squat, they're rot
Layin' on our hands, turnin' undead, in the light of day
You got blood on your face
You big disgrace
Callin' our mounts'from all over the place
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
(Sing it)
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
Evil your an old threat, no sweat
Aura keeps us here, an' disease stays far away all day
You got fear on your face
Big disgrace
Paladins gonna put you back into your place
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
(Sing it)
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
(Everybody)
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
(Alright!)
Paladin said:
Not quite what you asked for, but it fits your name:
We Will Smite You
By Fast Learner
(Sung to the tune of "We Will Rock You" by Queen)
(Aah)
Evil is your name, y'ain't got game
Killin' innocents gonna be a big man some day
You got vile on yo' face
You big disgrace
Detectin' your kind all over the place
(Singin')
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
You're blows ain't squat, they're rot
Layin' on our hands, turnin' undead, in the light of day
You got blood on your face
You big disgrace
Callin' our mounts'from all over the place
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
(Sing it)
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
Evil your an old threat, no sweat
Aura keeps us here, an' disease stays far away all day
You got fear on your face
Big disgrace
Paladins gonna put you back into your place
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
(Sing it)
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
(Everybody)
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
WE WILL, WE WILL, SMITE YOU
(Alright!)
Last edited:
jgbrowning
Hero
heh
hehe!
joe b.
hehe!
joe b.
Dr Midnight
Explorer
These were posted by Richards to my story hour thread, based on events in the story:
"Doctor Midnight" by Johnathan M. Richards
Sung to the tune of "After Midnight" by Eric Clapton
Doctor Midnight, he's gonna DM our new game.
Doctor Midnight's tired of campaigns that are lame.
He's gonna start us out in Poddleton,
We're all friends of one Jamison,
Whose gold dragon dad runs a bookstore in the town. (Runs a bookstore in the town, runs a bookstore in the town)
Doctor Midnight, he's gonna write our exploits down. (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
Doctor Midnight, he's trying to kill off our PCs. (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
Doctor Midnight, does it with contemptuous ease. (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
He fried a bunch of us down to the bone
When he made blue dragon breath a cone
Even though a line of lightning is the norm. (Line of lightning is the norm, line of lightning is the norm)
Doctor Midnight, he's DMing true to form. (DMing true to form, DMing true to form)
Doctor Midnight, he's gonna jot all our deaths down. (Gonna jot all our deaths down, gonna jot all our deaths down)
Doctor Midnight, he's gonna catch us in a trap. (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
Doctor Midnight, likes to make us say "Holy Crap!"(TM) (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
It's really half our fault; now you might scoff
But we always fight with the safety off.
Some of us Knights have got more balls than brains. (Knights have got more balls than brains, Knights have got more balls than brains)
Doctor Midnight, he kills us all off just the same. (Kills us all off just the same, kills us all off just the same)
Doctor Midnight, he writes all our exploits down. (Writes all our exploits down, writes all our exploits down)
Doctor Midnight, he writes all our exploits down. (Writes all our exploits down, writes all our exploits down)
Doctor Midnight, he writes all our exploits down. (Writes all our exploits down, writes all our exploits down)
Doctor Midnight, he writes all our exploits down. (Writes all our exploits down, writes all our exploits down)
"Gimme Four Cards" by Johnathan M. Richards
Sung to the tune of "Gimme Three Steps" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
I was out with my band
Smiting evil from the land
When we came across this place
With a skeleton guard
Sittin' shuffling cards
And he kind of had this grin on his face.
He said, "Hey there, Dartan
Aren't you tired of cartin'
All of your troubles around?
'Cause I got a deck here
And you need have no fear
There is power here to be found."
Well I gotta admit, I was tempted a bit
I was turnin' it around in my mind.
But my friends they all said
"Man, you're out of your head
And that's puttin' it kind."
They said, "Take a good look, Dartan
We're not foolin' or fartin',
It's a Deck of Many Things.
It'll bring you no good
And we wish that you would
Say you don't want what it brings."
Won't you give me four cards
Gimme four cards, mister,
Gimme four cards from the deck?
Gimme four cards
Gimme four cards, mister,
I'm feeling lucky so what the heck.
Well he flipped the first card
And I looked at it hard
It was a picture of the Moon.
And the skeleton said
That two wishes I had
But I'd have to use them both up soon.
Card Two was Death, well there went wish one,
Card Three a Knight to serve all my needs.
Card Four again was Death my old friend
I wished him away 'fore he could make me bleed.
Won't you give me four cards
Gimme four cards, mister,
Gimme four cards from the deck?
Gimme four cards
Gimme four cards, mister
Even though my friends want to wring my neck
------------------
There are more, if anyone wants to read them.
"Doctor Midnight" by Johnathan M. Richards
Sung to the tune of "After Midnight" by Eric Clapton
Doctor Midnight, he's gonna DM our new game.
Doctor Midnight's tired of campaigns that are lame.
He's gonna start us out in Poddleton,
We're all friends of one Jamison,
Whose gold dragon dad runs a bookstore in the town. (Runs a bookstore in the town, runs a bookstore in the town)
Doctor Midnight, he's gonna write our exploits down. (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
Doctor Midnight, he's trying to kill off our PCs. (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
Doctor Midnight, does it with contemptuous ease. (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
He fried a bunch of us down to the bone
When he made blue dragon breath a cone
Even though a line of lightning is the norm. (Line of lightning is the norm, line of lightning is the norm)
Doctor Midnight, he's DMing true to form. (DMing true to form, DMing true to form)
Doctor Midnight, he's gonna jot all our deaths down. (Gonna jot all our deaths down, gonna jot all our deaths down)
Doctor Midnight, he's gonna catch us in a trap. (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
Doctor Midnight, likes to make us say "Holy Crap!"(TM) (Doctor Midnight, Doctor Midnight)
It's really half our fault; now you might scoff
But we always fight with the safety off.
Some of us Knights have got more balls than brains. (Knights have got more balls than brains, Knights have got more balls than brains)
Doctor Midnight, he kills us all off just the same. (Kills us all off just the same, kills us all off just the same)
Doctor Midnight, he writes all our exploits down. (Writes all our exploits down, writes all our exploits down)
Doctor Midnight, he writes all our exploits down. (Writes all our exploits down, writes all our exploits down)
Doctor Midnight, he writes all our exploits down. (Writes all our exploits down, writes all our exploits down)
Doctor Midnight, he writes all our exploits down. (Writes all our exploits down, writes all our exploits down)
"Gimme Four Cards" by Johnathan M. Richards
Sung to the tune of "Gimme Three Steps" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
I was out with my band
Smiting evil from the land
When we came across this place
With a skeleton guard
Sittin' shuffling cards
And he kind of had this grin on his face.
He said, "Hey there, Dartan
Aren't you tired of cartin'
All of your troubles around?
'Cause I got a deck here
And you need have no fear
There is power here to be found."
Well I gotta admit, I was tempted a bit
I was turnin' it around in my mind.
But my friends they all said
"Man, you're out of your head
And that's puttin' it kind."
They said, "Take a good look, Dartan
We're not foolin' or fartin',
It's a Deck of Many Things.
It'll bring you no good
And we wish that you would
Say you don't want what it brings."
Won't you give me four cards
Gimme four cards, mister,
Gimme four cards from the deck?
Gimme four cards
Gimme four cards, mister,
I'm feeling lucky so what the heck.
Well he flipped the first card
And I looked at it hard
It was a picture of the Moon.
And the skeleton said
That two wishes I had
But I'd have to use them both up soon.
Card Two was Death, well there went wish one,
Card Three a Knight to serve all my needs.
Card Four again was Death my old friend
I wished him away 'fore he could make me bleed.
Won't you give me four cards
Gimme four cards, mister,
Gimme four cards from the deck?
Gimme four cards
Gimme four cards, mister
Even though my friends want to wring my neck
------------------
There are more, if anyone wants to read them.
now if i can just get 
Mathew_Freeman
Adventurer
Apologies, but it has to be done
This was in an old edition of Dragon...one of their legendary April issues, if you need ask. I think it was credited to anonymous, and appeared in a Bard On The Run section.
Ladeeeez and gentlemen...I present...Companions Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody, referencing the original Dragonlance Books)
Raistlin:
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Where do the stars hide? Why does evil close in on me?
Hourglass eyes, look up to the skies and seeeee...
I'm not a weak mage, I know the truth you see
There'll be dragons blue dragons white
Dragons good rise to fight
Any way the war goes, doesn't really matter to me...
To me...
Tasselhoff:
Tanis, I've robbed a dwarf, found a purse all full of gold
Oh its yours? Well then I'll hold...
Tanis! Please let go of me! I swear I thought you'd thrown it all away!
Kitiara:
Tanis (oo-oo-oo) You deserve to die
Behind my back you've fallen for Laurana
<i>musical break</i>
Laurana:
I see a little Qualinesti in your soul
Tanthalas, Tanthalas can I be your companion?
Thunderbolts and lightning
That human woman's frightening me!
Tanis:
Kitiara! Kitiara! Kitiara! Kitiara!
A Dragonlord!
Flint:
I'm just an old Dwarf, everybody bugs me
Chorus:
He's just an old Dwarf but he's still family
He'll give his life so that we can be free
Caramon:
Easy go, easy come, everybody thinks I'm dumb
Chorus:
Caramon! We do not think you're dumb
Caramon:
I'm not dumb?
Chorus:
Caramon, we do not think you're dumb
(I'm not dumb)
Do not think you're dumb
Caramon:
I'm not dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb!
O brother Raistlin brother Raistlin
Brother Raislin where'd you go?
Raistlin:
To Takhisis, she's a Black Robe set aside for me!
For me!
For meeeeeeee!
<i>(guitar solo, headbanging etc)</i>
Sturm:
So you think you can slay me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can slay me and leave to die?
Oh...Lady...can't do this to me Lady!
You'll never win out, you'll never defeat good and right!
Tanis:
Nothing's really happened, check the stars and see
Evil has no place here...evil has no place here...
We're free...
Any way the game goes...
This was in an old edition of Dragon...one of their legendary April issues, if you need ask. I think it was credited to anonymous, and appeared in a Bard On The Run section.
Ladeeeez and gentlemen...I present...Companions Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody, referencing the original Dragonlance Books)
Raistlin:
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Where do the stars hide? Why does evil close in on me?
Hourglass eyes, look up to the skies and seeeee...
I'm not a weak mage, I know the truth you see
There'll be dragons blue dragons white
Dragons good rise to fight
Any way the war goes, doesn't really matter to me...
To me...
Tasselhoff:
Tanis, I've robbed a dwarf, found a purse all full of gold
Oh its yours? Well then I'll hold...
Tanis! Please let go of me! I swear I thought you'd thrown it all away!
Kitiara:
Tanis (oo-oo-oo) You deserve to die
Behind my back you've fallen for Laurana
<i>musical break</i>
Laurana:
I see a little Qualinesti in your soul
Tanthalas, Tanthalas can I be your companion?
Thunderbolts and lightning
That human woman's frightening me!
Tanis:
Kitiara! Kitiara! Kitiara! Kitiara!
A Dragonlord!
Flint:
I'm just an old Dwarf, everybody bugs me
Chorus:
He's just an old Dwarf but he's still family
He'll give his life so that we can be free
Caramon:
Easy go, easy come, everybody thinks I'm dumb
Chorus:
Caramon! We do not think you're dumb
Caramon:
I'm not dumb?
Chorus:
Caramon, we do not think you're dumb
(I'm not dumb)
Do not think you're dumb
Caramon:
I'm not dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb!
O brother Raistlin brother Raistlin
Brother Raislin where'd you go?
Raistlin:
To Takhisis, she's a Black Robe set aside for me!
For me!
For meeeeeeee!
<i>(guitar solo, headbanging etc)</i>
Sturm:
So you think you can slay me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can slay me and leave to die?
Oh...Lady...can't do this to me Lady!
You'll never win out, you'll never defeat good and right!
Tanis:
Nothing's really happened, check the stars and see
Evil has no place here...evil has no place here...
We're free...
Any way the game goes...