D&D General OVERLY CRITICAL: Sucking the joy out of the game.

[Bawylie]

Let’s adjust our perspectives for a minute. Just as a thought exercise.

Assume: You spent N hours prepping and probably 2N hours playing D&D this week for a total of 3N hours.

Question 1: In your opinion, did you receive a fair (or roughly equal) amount of fun for your investment of time? More fun? Less fun?

Question 2: (let’s say) A movie costs something like $10/hour (snacks and whatever included). Would you have paid $10/hour to play your most recent game of D&D (include the value of time spent with friends/other players)?

Question 3: You earn X dollars an hour working. You spent 3N hours prepping and playing D&D when you could’ve worked and earned 3NX dollars. Would you rather have worked and earned 3NX dollars or played D&D during that same time slot?

Plainly these questions are not even close to the only considerations or preferences we might have as players. For a lot of us, this is a passion/hobby for which we’d happily burn reasonable amounts of time and cash. But what it comes down to, in terms of perspective, is that if you can say “I’m glad I spent my time and money doing this” then there’s joy here for you.

Finally, the more you do something, the better you get at it. And the better you get at something, the more flaws and errors your can see. And when you make adjustments to make fewer errors, you get better and notice all new errors, and so on and so on. I think, so long as you’re a good sport about it all and approach the hobby with joy, you’re in the right place.

 

[Asisreo]

Let me tell you, the first time I DM'ed I hit EVERY landmine as a terrible DM. I didn't read the table, I barely knew any rules, when someone tried doing something fun the first thing I said was "no." I didn't do it because I wanted to be bad or annoy players or even that I was angry, I just didn't know how to DM right. I decided to do it the same night I got the rulebook (the starter set one, not the PHB). You should've seen my ridiculous house rules.

I turned some of my friends off of D&D and I still feel bad that I left such a negative impression. Now, I'm...Well, okay in my opinion. I don't think I'm perfect nor am I THE DM but I do have some people who say I'm good. And I believe them enough to keep my head up and keep learning. It's been just over a year and I've grown alot and I hope I can grow some more. I'm actually running two concurrent campaigns with two different parties on the same timeline now, and yes it can be a bit overwhelming but it leads to this avenger-style team-up that increases the excitement.

Thing is: you need to talk with your DM. I'm embarrassed by the number of dropouts my game had but 95% of them say they don't have time or just left and never said anything. And that's fine, I missed the mark a few times but I can't improve without knowing what went wrong.