Hiya!
I think @
qnaspc is having fun being a bard, but not having fun losing fights. And it's that latter part he wants advice on (even if that means giving up the bard part)
D&D is not just role-playing after all. It is a game too. And a game you can be good or bad at. Fun isn't everything if you never win.
Actually, in my circles D&D is the rpg most suited to the "game" part. D&D is by far the tabletop rpg we view as most inviting to powergaming. D&D is by far the rpg where I see players treating their characters as playing pieces to be optimized, rather than living breathing beings with quirks and flaws.
All fair points, Cap'n.

Sometimes I kinda get lost on the more "simulationist/narrative" part of the game and neglect the whole "gamist" part...at least during play. Funny thing is, though, that when I'm prepping for an upcoming game, I get very much into the 'game mechanics' side of thing. I'm a hopeless "rules tweaker". Always have been, always will be at this point (old dog, new tricks and all that).
I have one ex-powergamer in the mix here. I say ex because he use to be all about that. But that was all he knew. His previous experience with a few DM's was all about "DPR" and min/maxing. It took him a while (a good year) to finally have it sink in that his character could try to do just about anything he wanted...not 'just what was on his sheet'.
But I digress. I think I have to agree with you on the whole "D&D is by far...characters being optimized" statement. As much as it pains me to say do, yeah, I think I've seen "optimized" D&D characters more than I've seen "optimized" characters for Marvel Super Heroes Advanced, Call of Cthulhu, Powers & Perils, or Gamma World 3rd Edition. Not sure if it's the system or some other thing, but yeah, a lot of D&D optimizers out there.
CapnZapp said:
So actually one honest suggestion, qnaspc, is - if having fun is much more important than winning, perhaps switch games? There are A LOT of fantasy rpgs where charop and dps and winning isn't nearly as large a part of the game's heritage. Good luck qnaspc!
Seconded. As I said, if you hare having fun...keep doing that. If you aren't, how much "un-fun" are you having? If you find yourself thinking that your guy sucks compared to others, try looking at the game when there isn't combat and when your character does 'shine'. Use those situations to your advantage and maybe you'll start to see your character more as a sort of "jack-of-all-trades" (your's was the bard, right?) guy...look at your bonuses and whatnot (game mechanics stuff) compared to the others. Maybe that will give you the "my character is cool" boost you are looking for. If not, then maybe try adding in (I can't believe I'm saying this!)...gulp...add in a level of Fighter or maybe Monk? Something that you can combine with your bard stuff to give you a lot more 'oomph' to your combat side, at least in terms of diversity if nothing else.
I'd recommend staying with your character, however. One thing about D&D characters...even ones that start off totally sucking balls can become some of the most heroic, memorable and interesting characters of a campaign. ("Barkus Liebintaub" comes to mind; a BECMI Fighter who used a volgue, wore leather armor, and had a STR 4. Yes..*4*. He was still alive and kicking at 10th level. He had a penchant for getting swallowed by big creatures, and refused to take bath's. Very cool character that 'sucked' at his core class stat...but he could still kick the tar outta many creatures due to player savvy and just being a Fighter).
"Sometimes the roughest diamonds shine the greatest".
^_^
Paul L. Ming