A 75' television drops from the sky, an overly-serious man in tweed sitting at a desk
"For those of you just tuning in, this instant replay."
(Scene of Carnifex snatching the Deck of Many Portfolios from a distracted Akunin, followed by his being devoured by Eris. The scene plays through once again, zooming in first on the cards, then Carnifex, then Carnifex being swallowed by the goddess of discord.)
"I must warn the citizens of ENWorld of the seriousness of this situation. An ancient artifact of ultimate Chaos has been devoured by an ancient deity of ultimate chaos. Scientists can only speculate at the effect this will have upon the cards. We at this station urge everyone to take cover, as..."
The television signal is cut and the screen turns to static. Air Raid sirens wail in the distance.
A mighty rumbling is heard from within the cha-cha-ing goddess' belly. As she watches in amazement, the cards begin flying from her mouth, filling the air with a blizzard of chaotic energy.
Random bystanders are struck with cards and imbued with countless overlooked and discarded portfolios - "Goddess of Bad Christopher Walkin Impersonations" is bestowed upon a housewife on her way to the grocery store, and a new "Flared Pant Legs God" is formed when a jogger comes too close to the flurry of cards...
Akunin peeks from behind the television, a butterfly net gripped tightly in his hands.
"Not good. Not good at all," he mutters, as the unspeakable happens. The sky darkens, and Akunin ducks again behind the television.
One of the Daves stares at the image on the card that has just struck him in the forehead.
"God of Ultimate Destruction? Cool!"
