Quartermoon said:
Ohio is, after all, such a safe, boring place. Perfect for maintaining one's tenuous grip on sanity.
Little do you know that you just noticed my sneaky tribute to you.
And since I'm too pooped to finish the real update on this or the main story hour, I have
the perfect interruption. . .
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Rubber Band vs. Coldsnap!
“It’s quite simple, you see.” The small child squinted through his thick glasses at the other children in the classroom. “I’m actually a super-genius and I’ve invented an atomic freeze ray. Give me all your lunch money, and at recess I’ll sink Freedom City into endless snowy winter. Just think of it – sledding every day, and snow days for the rest of the year. And that’s just the beginning of my nefarious plans!” The children cheered as they began to shove dollar bills into Coldsnap’s mitten-clad hands.
History teacher Reggie Williams yanked his head back around the corner of the classroom door. “Nuclear winter! That’s one messed up little egg-head.” R.B. ducked into the nearby supply closet. “Someone’s gotta do somethin’ about his appetite for disaster.” Seconds later he bounded out as the ever-popular
Rubber Band. Forming his elastic body into a huge wheel, R.B. rolled down the school corridor and into Mrs. Greely’s fourth grade classroom.
“Rubber Band!” hissed Coldsnap, pulling a humming frost projector from his parka pocket. “I’ve just started on my life of crime, and my hunger for destruction knows no limit. You’ll never stop me, hero!”
“Oh yeah?” Rubber Band stopped short and flattened his elastic body into a makeshift catapult. Golden sponge cakes flew across the classroom and rained down around Coldsnap’s head. “It isn’t endless winter you’re craving, boy. Let’s see you satisfy your appetite on
these!”
Coldsnap clutched at the snack cakes in rapture. “How did you know? Ohhh, golden sponge cake! Delicious creamed filling! I can’t possibly freeze the city today – I’ll be too busy having snack!”
“That’s right, Coldsnap.” Rubber Band looped his arm around Coldsnap multiple times, entangling the want-to-be villain in a rubbery lariat. “Stay in school, kids, and remember – the only thing better than a taste for knowledge. . . is the taste of delicious Hostess Twinkies!”
You get a big delight
in every bite
of Hostess™ Twinkies!
Actual story (and not more ads) continued on following pages.