Piratecat, I have succumbed! (Warning: some OSM spoilers)

[Gargoyle]

I wonder how many other husband-wife teams there are out there in D20 land, PKitty and KidCthulhu? You might notice that Ken's missus got an "Additional Design" credit on Danger in Deadwood (on sale at Bastion Press now) and my beloved got a Proofreading credit on Arms and Armor! Isn't it great to have a "gaming marriage"!

Yes it is!

My wife Heather does most of my copyediting and helps with playtesting, and participates in our campaigns whenever possible. (I believe Monte Cook's wife does copyediting for Malhavoc as well, - yeah I'm a "Monte Cook wannabe" )

Plain Sailing: My advice, based on what I've heard my wife tell others, is "Don't Push, but Always Invite".

Not pushing is essential. It took me several years to get Heather to participate, and she still doesn't play every game I do. (She won't touch the original Illuminati, for instance, too political.) Over time I've learned what kind of games we both like, and she's learned to trust me when I say things like "You'd really like this game!" Patience is essential!

But always inviting is important. If you give up on asking her to play, she will begin to think you don't want her to. It sounds like common sense, but I've seen many gamers fail to do this simple thing...persistance is also essential!

Piratecat: I got my copy of Of Sound Mind the other day and I'm currently writing a conversion to adapt it to my campaign (7th level characters) Best adventure I've bought in a long time. Good work!

 

[Plane Sailing]

Thanks for the advice Gargoyle - A year ago she expressed a bit of interest in Star Wars d20 (just after seeing Phantom Menace), but like a moron I didn't take her up on it quickly enough...

I'll make a point of inviting more though - and perhaps asking Jo for ideas about things...?

Other suggestions from gaming marriages much valued!

Cheers

 

[Plane Sailing]

Oh yes - I've just completed the first part of my adventure into "of sound mind", and is going very well - very creepy!

 

[Piratecat]

I wanna hear!!!

And I'll point KidC back towards this thread, no problem.

 

[KidCthulhu]

Sorry, Plane. I lost track of this thread. Here's a few random thoughts on the spousal gaming thing.

Try and recruit more women for your game in general. Seeing other women (especially "normal" types) will help your wife understand that gaming isn't just a guy thing.

Run a one shot for your wife and other newbies. Do you have other friends who might want to try gaming? Especially friends of your wife. Sometimes the learning curve, the fear that everyone knows how to do this but you, and the desire not to make mistakes in front of others will keep someone from trying a game for the first time. PC has been having a lot of luck with his newbie campaign because we specifically started with only women or newbies.

Try a host your own mystery night. These are a great way to ease someone into role playing without the "D&D" stigma. Give her the haughty dutchess, or American film start to play. Some character that's easy and fun to role play without knowing you're doing it. This is another place to find players for a newbie game.

Once you've found potential players through this method, run something other than D&D. I highly reccomend Feng Shui. The system is fairly simple, and you can call the game "Active Movie Night" and they'll never know they're gaming. Most people like movies, and Feng Shui is really just make your own movie role playing. If you're looking to attract women, base your plot on something like Charlie's Angels, very chick power and lots of cheesy fun.

If your wife is anywhere in the viscinity while you're running a game, running the monsters can be fun. Give her a basic sheet of the monster's capabilities. Don't use stats or numbers, just a summary of what you can do. "You can breath fire, you can claw, you can hit things with your tail, you can fly". Then let her decide what the monster does. She can role the dice and you do the math.

That's actually a good thought (go me!). Too often when newbies see a character sheet of any form, the terms throw people off. You spend the first hour of a game sitting around explaing things, and people's first impression is "This is really complicated." Not a good start. Create a sort of Fisher Price character sheet instead.

Just list the things you can do. It's a nice simple way to get people taking action, rather than feeling intimidated by the terms. Just list the things they can do, and when they decide to do it, let them roll the dice, and tell 'em what happens. After a while, you can explain the mechanics.

One of the first rules for dog training is to set the dog up for success. So don't make the task too difficult or complicated at first. And make it so much fun that they want to do it again. Not to imply that your wife is a dog, but it's a good basic rule for people too.

Those are the thoughts for now.

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

It would be cool to read a story hour about it, though!

I started running it this weekend for my girlfriend and her son, neither of whom have every played D&D. She has a theatre degree, he likes Diablo... close enough.

She's playing an elven ranger ("Like that hot Legolas, right?) and he's a Bbn1/Sor1.

It started out silly. It took them a good 30 minutes in town just to decide how much CHEESE to buy. Yes, cheese. Describe a market, and the girlfriend wants to know what's in it. Mention food, and the boy is all over it.

Finally they make to the inn to meet Tokket, and as I'm getting a little exasperated with them, I've decided he will pretty much offer up all the info they need to really get started. I suggest that chatting up the inkeeper might give them a few clues. The girlfriend rises to the occasion with this gem:

"I'm the sexiest elf in the forest and I'm looking for some children!"

(That raised an eyebrow or two...)

Things went on like that and she spent a good deal of the game giggling, and I just let her run with it and have a good time. But let me tell you: When that horse unhinged his jaw and ripped into her, she was terrified!

About 3 hours of play, counting character creation; we got through the inn, the town meeting, and their first nightmares. We finished with the horses lying dead on the pasture. We didn't get as far into the adventure as I had hoped but I think they'll be back for more!

I encouraged her to take good notes and do a story hour. We'll see how it goes!

Wulf

 

[Piratecat]

But let me tell you: When that horse unhinged his jaw and ripped into her, she was terrified!

Ahhhhh. (contented sigh) Ben, you've just made my day. Exactly the reaction I was hoping for. Ladies and Gentlemen, my work here is done.

Incidentally, that's as far as we got in playtest, too!

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

It was also a lot of fun revealing to her that the module was written by "my friend Piratecat, from the Story Hour!"

She may yet have words for YOU, mister.

 

[KidCthulhu]

You've mentioned an important thing for DMs working with new players. Let them set the pace. We who've been at this for years have a rhythm set. Get the supplies, get the info, get out.

But you did the right thing not rushing them. If they want to role play the Cheese Shop sketch, let 'em. That's fun for them, and the first rule for newbies is "Make sure they have fun!"

You think the horses scared them, wait until you hand out the dreams.

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

You think the horses scared them, wait until you hand out the dreams.

Aaargh! I should probably post this under the "greatest failing as a DM" thread but I really messed up the dreams. (Underprepared, not enough prep work!)

I read their dreams aloud to them.

And only then did I notice PC's AWESOME note about handing out the dreams and letting them read them silently to themselves, then collecting them back up so that if they wanted to share the dream with others, they had to deal with "the fading nature of dreams."

What a fantastic tidbit that was. I was kicking myself. That's just such a great "mechanic," I will never forget it again.

At any rate, the boy is a little sqeamish-- he wasn't at all happy with the barbarian's dream sequence! He went a little green.

There is nothing in the world so good as the first D&D experience. I reflect fondly on that time as a player, this is the first time I think I have ever DM'ed for total newbies.

I have long maintained that the greatest "newbie" adventure was Keep on the Borderlands, but this one is so well written it may find its place among the classics.


Wulf