Piratecat's Updated Story Hour! (update 4/03 and 4/06)
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KidCthulhu
First Post
Grog said:
[don cheesy grin and gold chains]That's what the ladies all say. [doff cheesy grin and gold chains]
Piratecat
Sesquipedalian
Grog, Nolin did crit again. He only uses the damn thing twice a year, so he must be saving them up in some sort of extra stomach. Now there's a lobster tree in Glubyal, and lord help the local ecosystem.
The group assumed that the effect came from the cloud itself. In truth, however, the Sea King Blel-Plibbit is a cleric with a few levels of hierophant. He's in that cloud somewhere with his entourage, and apparently can see right through it, and he has the ability to make touch spells at a 30' range.
Hail to the King, baby.
shilsen said:
The group assumed that the effect came from the cloud itself. In truth, however, the Sea King Blel-Plibbit is a cleric with a few levels of hierophant. He's in that cloud somewhere with his entourage, and apparently can see right through it, and he has the ability to make touch spells at a 30' range.
Hail to the King, baby.
KidCthulhu
First Post
Mmmm. Lobster tree. You could plant one in the yard, and just go out and pick a lobster whenever you wanted. [drool]. Plus, it would scare the piss out of the poor, unsuspecting squirrels.
WizarDru
Adventurer
Later, in Limbo:
Spirit 1: "So, what brings you here, new guy?"
Spirit 2: "Died fighting the Kuo-Toa, deep under the earth on the Prime."
Spirit 1: "Wow, that's a bad scene. They gut you?"
Spirit 2: "No, actually. Dissolved most of my body into seawater, and then ripped apart the rest of my body, which was only barely held together, at that point."
Spirit 1: "Oh, well I...."
Spirit 2: "Then they dumped my few remains into a feeding pool for the fingerlings to shred my cooling corpse."
Spirit 1: "....."
Spirit 2: "So, what kind of food do you have to eat around here? I'm starved. For some reason, I have a crazing for seafood. Say, where are you going?"
Spirit 1: "So, what brings you here, new guy?"
Spirit 2: "Died fighting the Kuo-Toa, deep under the earth on the Prime."
Spirit 1: "Wow, that's a bad scene. They gut you?"
Spirit 2: "No, actually. Dissolved most of my body into seawater, and then ripped apart the rest of my body, which was only barely held together, at that point."
Spirit 1: "Oh, well I...."
Spirit 2: "Then they dumped my few remains into a feeding pool for the fingerlings to shred my cooling corpse."
Spirit 1: "....."
Spirit 2: "So, what kind of food do you have to eat around here? I'm starved. For some reason, I have a crazing for seafood. Say, where are you going?"
Hey PKitty,
I made my donation abit earlier today and well, this may sound somewhat odd, but it is the truth. I like this site, alot, but it really has been because of your and Sagiro's story hours that I have come back, almost everyday. Sure the 3e rumors were great, but after a somewhat malais set in for me with boards and info, your story hour and later Sagiro's sucked me in and said to me 'cool things happen here, please stay' So I did.
So thanks Pkitty, of all the things on this site that I have grown to love, the community, reviews, news and various other things, your story hour here I count as a most valued contribution and part of what makes 'ENWorld' 'EnWorld' for me.
RX
EDIT: You know what, I got all misty eyed thinking how great a group of people that are associated with this site, that I just donated again, 50% again on top of my previous donation. I'll consider it 'story hour forum' tax.
I made my donation abit earlier today and well, this may sound somewhat odd, but it is the truth. I like this site, alot, but it really has been because of your and Sagiro's story hours that I have come back, almost everyday. Sure the 3e rumors were great, but after a somewhat malais set in for me with boards and info, your story hour and later Sagiro's sucked me in and said to me 'cool things happen here, please stay' So I did.
So thanks Pkitty, of all the things on this site that I have grown to love, the community, reviews, news and various other things, your story hour here I count as a most valued contribution and part of what makes 'ENWorld' 'EnWorld' for me.
RX
EDIT: You know what, I got all misty eyed thinking how great a group of people that are associated with this site, that I just donated again, 50% again on top of my previous donation. I'll consider it 'story hour forum' tax.
Last edited:
Piratecat
Sesquipedalian
Femerus the Gnecro said:
Drat! Thank you, and good catch. I've added it back in. I had been hoping to update today, but work and other responsibilities are breathing on my neck. Look for one Monday, instead, along with some mistakes fixed and scenes added to previous entries. Sort of like the Director's Cut.
I love both the madlibs and the piratecat fabric, but the latter lacks that je ne se quois (whatever that is.) Not enough mangled corpses!
Also, go see our story hour art all in one place: http://www.enworld.org/forums/showthread.php?t=67908
Not necessarily for slow modems, but I've collected Littlejohn's, Sialia's and (contact)'s pieces along with some explanatory dialogue. Are they not gorgeous?
Piratecat
Sesquipedalian
Conch shell horns echo over polished stone, along with a tune of ethereal beauty. Running feet splash in shallow puddles. A coral bell peals in the gloom. Dying lobsters clack massive claws. Mist rolls out of a palace doorway, and somewhere ahead a githzerai dies quietly, his innards splashing out of a melting body.
The battle against Blel-Plibbit, Sea King of the Kuo-Toa, is joined.
Best to be cautious. Velendo casts spell resistance on himself while Cruciel guards him from attack. Then the aging cleric studies the faint cloud ahead of him. His eyes flash with blue fire as his permanent arcane sight tries to identify the magic which infuses it, but the result is nothing like he expects.
Normally, arcane sight shows the strands of magic that always hang in the air like a spider’s web, allowing Velendo to identify magic by the thickness and composition of the weave. Not this time; instead the glowing strands of magic bulge and spin outwards towards him in an impossible spiral. Velendo pulls back from the unseen threat, wincing as he feels the magic try to pry open his scalp and crawl into his brains. He senses something jabbering insanely as it tries to rip apart his mind. “Arrgh!” he grunts, and shakes free from the attack with a massive mental effort.
“There’s something in that cloud,” Velendo pants as his head begins to clear. “Galthia, is it psionic?” Silence. “Galthia?” Nothing.
“Is he down?” asks Mara, concerned.
“I can’t tell.” The group begins to reform ranks around him before advancing forward. “He disappeared inside of the cloud. Can someone…?”
“I’ll find out,” answers Stone Bear, and slips off towards the cloud.
The dwarven shock troops ready their crossbows to cover Stone Bear, and Agar casts true seeing. He also looks at the cloud, and just like Velendo he has to try and stop his brain from fracturing into a dozen distinct personalities. The blissful release of true insanity is certainly tempting, but Agar resists, and his natural phobias don’t grow any worse.
Agar tears his eyes away. “For a second there, I thought you were all giant insects!”
“What?”
“Nothing. Don’t try to detect anything magically in that cloud. Whatever the effect is, I think it feeds off of divination spells.”
A sudden breath of ice cold air stirs his face, and out of nowhere the plaza is wrapped by a storm of hideous power. Icy sleet pounds down and bone-chilling waves crash out of nowhere. The storm is gone within seconds, but almost everyone is hurt, and the less experienced of the dwarven troops are unconscious or dead.
Stone Bear pauses near the cloud, his raven soaring far above him. The shaman has no eyes to see earthly obstructions such as mist, and what he senses makes him frown. “The cloud is full of kuo-toa. There is one standing next to what’s left of Galthia.”
Agar gulps. “What’s left?”
“Let me finish. There are at least ten other kuo-toa in there. One is wearing ugly regalia and a big lobster crown - ”
“The king!”
“ – and the rest have those pincher staffs. At least two are probably priests of some kind.”
“Stay clear, Stone Bear. We’re going to blanket that area with spells.” The shaman scowls and turns back to try and stabilize as many dying dwarves as he can.
Nolin finishes his song of power, inspiring Tao to greatness and glory. Then he turns to focus on the cloud. “Let’s get rid of that mist.” The bard casts mass haste and follows it with gust of wind; from his back, the wings of the phoenix Rides the Sun emerge to sweep the air. Before the phoenix can complete its action a cloud of misty water surrounds the fiery form. Rides the Sun dissolves into dimming sparks and is forced to merge back into Nolin, and the spell never takes effect.
Nolin is shocked. “What the hell just happened?”
Stone Bear is the only one who could see. “One of the priests just counter-spelled your magic.”
“Bastard. That’s fighting dirty. Only we get to do that.”
Tao raises her arms and focuses her will, and the divine agent’s prayer of greater dispelling rips apart the cloud in front of them as if it were damp tissue. She hears crossbows twang as the dwarves who are still on their feet fire at one of the clerics, but she is busy calling down a devastating flame strike into the midst of the kuo-toa that are now visible.
One of the kuo-toa raises its pincher staff and burbles some words, and the roiling pillar of fire is drowned out in hissing water. Another counter-spell.
Mara can now see the kuo-toa that dropped Galthia, a large brute with no weapon and a distended jaw. It grins crazily. She vaults atop the newly healed Luminor and gallops at full speed towards the monitor. Riding past him, she swings Lightbinder and catches him fully in his paunchy belly. The horse reels around with sparks flying from its hooves, and Mara hits the monitor a second time in the back of the neck. Nearby kuo-toa guards thrust their pincher staves at her, but she interposes her holy shield and none of the weapons fully snap shut around her neck. A few elite guards fling poisoned coral daggers at both she and Malachite, but all are deflected by their armor. A poison dagger flies at Velendo as well, but is batted away by Cruciel.
Far behind the rest of the group, Burr-Lipp leaps into the air beside the newly-formed lobster tree, picking off the treed kuo-toa one jump at a time.
“Let’s take a few of them down,” grimaces Velendo. He casts fire storm, and then uses the Grimrod to follow up with a maximixed blade barrier. Burning and smoking kuo-toa begin to scream and fall like wheat before a scythe, including the horribly injured creature wearing the king’s crown. Pale blood fountains up from the dying fish men, and gore begins to spray out of the center of the steel maelstrom. Everyone briefly cheers, but Velendo is horrified to see that the two priestly kuo-toa – What do they call them, whips? – are literally dancing across across the top of the whirling blades. “Well, that can’t be good.”
Nolin answers sarcastically. “Ya think?”
“That king went down pretty easily.”
“I don’t think it was actually the king. It was probably a decoy. Look at that big one in the blades, the one that just scooped up the crown. There’s your k… Hey Malachite, watch out!”
Oobubbl, one of the two whip bodyguards, easily tumbles out of the whirling blades. He closes with Malachite and smashes his adamantine pincher staff down onto the weakest point of Malachite’s shield. The pop-eyed kuo-toa clearly expects to sunder the shield into tiny pieces, and is more than a little bit surprised when the strengthening magic of Calphas keeps it whole and sound. “Hi there,” greets Malachite with a feral smile. “Nice to see you. Too bad that didn’t work the way you expected it to.” In his hand, Karthos the sunblade laughs in metallic anticipation.
The kuo-toa drops back into a more defensive stance as Malachite glides forward. The radiant knight twists his sword confusingly before slashing it around across Oobubbl’s chest. His second strike pierces the creatures body, but the whip manages to interpose its small and sticky shield on the third swing. Malachite tries to pull his weapon off, but the sun blade is securely stuck to the sticky secretions covering the kuo-toa’s shield. He engages in a comical tug-of-war with the injured kuo-toa for just a moment, but the whip manages to pull the intelligent sword free of Malachite’s hand. the blade stops laughing.
“Err, Malachite? A little help?” Karthos asks in ringing tones.
Fifty feet away, the monitor Klububble looks up at Mara on her horse. His fins jab upwards. Mara fights off the stunning effect of his blow, but then the tall kuo-toa unleashes a flurry to brutal strikes to her legs and chest. It’s almost as if Mara doesn’t have a shield, for all the good it does her, because the monitor can easily strike above, below, and around it. She reels in the saddle, horribly hurt.
“Join your friend?” suggests the monitor, in croaking tones. He prods what’s left of Galthia’s body with one webbed foot. In response Mara lays her hands upon her wounds, healing all of the recent damage, and tries to use Luminor to bull rush the monitor into the whirling blade barrier behind it. Klububble easily leaps aside. Behind him Priggle rushes up, but is ignored by the monitor in favor of the greater threat.
Agar bites his tongue, concentrating, and the smell of ozone fills the steaming air as a blinding chain lightning streaks from his hands. It strikes the newly identified King Blel-Plibbit in the chest. Secondary bolts crackle off to kill the last of the elite fighters who had survived both the firestorm and the blade barrier. Agar follows this up with a tentacular guidance spell that can help his allies identify weaknesses in their enemies’ defense.
With perfect teamwork, Nolin uses a slow spell to remove the haste effect on both the King and his remaining bodyguard. An attempt to use a wand of fumbling is less effective. Near him, Tao times her spells to go off as soon as Nolin finishes. She drops a flame strike on the reeling Sea King who is still standing within the whirling blades. She follows this with a wall of thorns. The Sea King and one of his bodyguards, Slibbup, are both trapped in the area of the blade barrier, and Tao brushes her hands together with the satisfaction of a job well done.
Her jubilation is premature. Slippub uses his own body to loyally boost his king above the spinning blades. It means the bodyguard’s horrible death, but his sacrifice gives the immensely strong king the time he needs to push free from the encircling wall of razor-sharp thorns. Blel-Plibbit’s voice carries over the combat, over the clanging of the blades and the grunts of exertion, and it strikes fear into the hearts of anyone who can hear.
“Eternal Sea Mother! I am your lover made flesh, your power in this realm, and I beseech you for a miracle. Take the spinning blades of the surface dwellers, beloved Blibdoolpoolp, and return them to those who brought them forth!”
The miracle takes effect, and Velendo’s maximized blade barrier disappears – only to reappear right on top of him, chopping into all the allies who surround him. The sound of blades rhythmically hacking into flesh is horrible.
To be continued…
Want more? Tune in tomorrow, when you'll hear Tao say, “Crap. Does he look healthier than he did a minute ago, or is it just me?”
The battle against Blel-Plibbit, Sea King of the Kuo-Toa, is joined.
Best to be cautious. Velendo casts spell resistance on himself while Cruciel guards him from attack. Then the aging cleric studies the faint cloud ahead of him. His eyes flash with blue fire as his permanent arcane sight tries to identify the magic which infuses it, but the result is nothing like he expects.
Normally, arcane sight shows the strands of magic that always hang in the air like a spider’s web, allowing Velendo to identify magic by the thickness and composition of the weave. Not this time; instead the glowing strands of magic bulge and spin outwards towards him in an impossible spiral. Velendo pulls back from the unseen threat, wincing as he feels the magic try to pry open his scalp and crawl into his brains. He senses something jabbering insanely as it tries to rip apart his mind. “Arrgh!” he grunts, and shakes free from the attack with a massive mental effort.
“There’s something in that cloud,” Velendo pants as his head begins to clear. “Galthia, is it psionic?” Silence. “Galthia?” Nothing.
“Is he down?” asks Mara, concerned.
“I can’t tell.” The group begins to reform ranks around him before advancing forward. “He disappeared inside of the cloud. Can someone…?”
“I’ll find out,” answers Stone Bear, and slips off towards the cloud.
The dwarven shock troops ready their crossbows to cover Stone Bear, and Agar casts true seeing. He also looks at the cloud, and just like Velendo he has to try and stop his brain from fracturing into a dozen distinct personalities. The blissful release of true insanity is certainly tempting, but Agar resists, and his natural phobias don’t grow any worse.
Agar tears his eyes away. “For a second there, I thought you were all giant insects!”
“What?”
“Nothing. Don’t try to detect anything magically in that cloud. Whatever the effect is, I think it feeds off of divination spells.”
A sudden breath of ice cold air stirs his face, and out of nowhere the plaza is wrapped by a storm of hideous power. Icy sleet pounds down and bone-chilling waves crash out of nowhere. The storm is gone within seconds, but almost everyone is hurt, and the less experienced of the dwarven troops are unconscious or dead.
Stone Bear pauses near the cloud, his raven soaring far above him. The shaman has no eyes to see earthly obstructions such as mist, and what he senses makes him frown. “The cloud is full of kuo-toa. There is one standing next to what’s left of Galthia.”
Agar gulps. “What’s left?”
“Let me finish. There are at least ten other kuo-toa in there. One is wearing ugly regalia and a big lobster crown - ”
“The king!”
“ – and the rest have those pincher staffs. At least two are probably priests of some kind.”
“Stay clear, Stone Bear. We’re going to blanket that area with spells.” The shaman scowls and turns back to try and stabilize as many dying dwarves as he can.
Nolin finishes his song of power, inspiring Tao to greatness and glory. Then he turns to focus on the cloud. “Let’s get rid of that mist.” The bard casts mass haste and follows it with gust of wind; from his back, the wings of the phoenix Rides the Sun emerge to sweep the air. Before the phoenix can complete its action a cloud of misty water surrounds the fiery form. Rides the Sun dissolves into dimming sparks and is forced to merge back into Nolin, and the spell never takes effect.
Nolin is shocked. “What the hell just happened?”
Stone Bear is the only one who could see. “One of the priests just counter-spelled your magic.”
“Bastard. That’s fighting dirty. Only we get to do that.”
Tao raises her arms and focuses her will, and the divine agent’s prayer of greater dispelling rips apart the cloud in front of them as if it were damp tissue. She hears crossbows twang as the dwarves who are still on their feet fire at one of the clerics, but she is busy calling down a devastating flame strike into the midst of the kuo-toa that are now visible.
One of the kuo-toa raises its pincher staff and burbles some words, and the roiling pillar of fire is drowned out in hissing water. Another counter-spell.
Mara can now see the kuo-toa that dropped Galthia, a large brute with no weapon and a distended jaw. It grins crazily. She vaults atop the newly healed Luminor and gallops at full speed towards the monitor. Riding past him, she swings Lightbinder and catches him fully in his paunchy belly. The horse reels around with sparks flying from its hooves, and Mara hits the monitor a second time in the back of the neck. Nearby kuo-toa guards thrust their pincher staves at her, but she interposes her holy shield and none of the weapons fully snap shut around her neck. A few elite guards fling poisoned coral daggers at both she and Malachite, but all are deflected by their armor. A poison dagger flies at Velendo as well, but is batted away by Cruciel.
Far behind the rest of the group, Burr-Lipp leaps into the air beside the newly-formed lobster tree, picking off the treed kuo-toa one jump at a time.
“Let’s take a few of them down,” grimaces Velendo. He casts fire storm, and then uses the Grimrod to follow up with a maximixed blade barrier. Burning and smoking kuo-toa begin to scream and fall like wheat before a scythe, including the horribly injured creature wearing the king’s crown. Pale blood fountains up from the dying fish men, and gore begins to spray out of the center of the steel maelstrom. Everyone briefly cheers, but Velendo is horrified to see that the two priestly kuo-toa – What do they call them, whips? – are literally dancing across across the top of the whirling blades. “Well, that can’t be good.”
Nolin answers sarcastically. “Ya think?”
“That king went down pretty easily.”
“I don’t think it was actually the king. It was probably a decoy. Look at that big one in the blades, the one that just scooped up the crown. There’s your k… Hey Malachite, watch out!”
Oobubbl, one of the two whip bodyguards, easily tumbles out of the whirling blades. He closes with Malachite and smashes his adamantine pincher staff down onto the weakest point of Malachite’s shield. The pop-eyed kuo-toa clearly expects to sunder the shield into tiny pieces, and is more than a little bit surprised when the strengthening magic of Calphas keeps it whole and sound. “Hi there,” greets Malachite with a feral smile. “Nice to see you. Too bad that didn’t work the way you expected it to.” In his hand, Karthos the sunblade laughs in metallic anticipation.
The kuo-toa drops back into a more defensive stance as Malachite glides forward. The radiant knight twists his sword confusingly before slashing it around across Oobubbl’s chest. His second strike pierces the creatures body, but the whip manages to interpose its small and sticky shield on the third swing. Malachite tries to pull his weapon off, but the sun blade is securely stuck to the sticky secretions covering the kuo-toa’s shield. He engages in a comical tug-of-war with the injured kuo-toa for just a moment, but the whip manages to pull the intelligent sword free of Malachite’s hand. the blade stops laughing.
“Err, Malachite? A little help?” Karthos asks in ringing tones.
Fifty feet away, the monitor Klububble looks up at Mara on her horse. His fins jab upwards. Mara fights off the stunning effect of his blow, but then the tall kuo-toa unleashes a flurry to brutal strikes to her legs and chest. It’s almost as if Mara doesn’t have a shield, for all the good it does her, because the monitor can easily strike above, below, and around it. She reels in the saddle, horribly hurt.
“Join your friend?” suggests the monitor, in croaking tones. He prods what’s left of Galthia’s body with one webbed foot. In response Mara lays her hands upon her wounds, healing all of the recent damage, and tries to use Luminor to bull rush the monitor into the whirling blade barrier behind it. Klububble easily leaps aside. Behind him Priggle rushes up, but is ignored by the monitor in favor of the greater threat.
Agar bites his tongue, concentrating, and the smell of ozone fills the steaming air as a blinding chain lightning streaks from his hands. It strikes the newly identified King Blel-Plibbit in the chest. Secondary bolts crackle off to kill the last of the elite fighters who had survived both the firestorm and the blade barrier. Agar follows this up with a tentacular guidance spell that can help his allies identify weaknesses in their enemies’ defense.
With perfect teamwork, Nolin uses a slow spell to remove the haste effect on both the King and his remaining bodyguard. An attempt to use a wand of fumbling is less effective. Near him, Tao times her spells to go off as soon as Nolin finishes. She drops a flame strike on the reeling Sea King who is still standing within the whirling blades. She follows this with a wall of thorns. The Sea King and one of his bodyguards, Slibbup, are both trapped in the area of the blade barrier, and Tao brushes her hands together with the satisfaction of a job well done.
Her jubilation is premature. Slippub uses his own body to loyally boost his king above the spinning blades. It means the bodyguard’s horrible death, but his sacrifice gives the immensely strong king the time he needs to push free from the encircling wall of razor-sharp thorns. Blel-Plibbit’s voice carries over the combat, over the clanging of the blades and the grunts of exertion, and it strikes fear into the hearts of anyone who can hear.
“Eternal Sea Mother! I am your lover made flesh, your power in this realm, and I beseech you for a miracle. Take the spinning blades of the surface dwellers, beloved Blibdoolpoolp, and return them to those who brought them forth!”
The miracle takes effect, and Velendo’s maximized blade barrier disappears – only to reappear right on top of him, chopping into all the allies who surround him. The sound of blades rhythmically hacking into flesh is horrible.
To be continued…
Want more? Tune in tomorrow, when you'll hear Tao say, “Crap. Does he look healthier than he did a minute ago, or is it just me?”
Last edited:
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