Pitch me your ulitmate D&D movie

[Scott_Rouse]

Thanks, I've been filming it in my head all morning!

Scott, call me, baby, we'll do lunch. My people will talk to your people. Seriously, send me a PM.

PM sent

 

[Fifth Element]

Cast (Voices):
Chuck/Epic: Stephen Colbert
Hudson/Hammer: Omar Epps
Julian/Nuke: Ira Glass
Tessa/Shade: Katey Sagal
Chuck's Mom: Carol Burnett
Chuck's Dad: Gary Gygax
Baron Void: Tim Curry

Amazing pitch. I love it. The voices are perfect too.

Get this made!

 

[Imp]

Huh, the best idea that popped in my head when I first looked at this thread was "Pixar treatment" and what do you know there we go.

 

[Mr. Patient]

The key aspect of D&D that I'd like to see captured in film is the arguing. I'd like to see the onscreen action halt for twenty minutes while the characters debate whether or not you can target a mirror image with a magic missile. I'm only half-kidding.

 

[Shade]

I'd settle for more Korgoth of Barbaria.

 

[jmucchiello]

Story: As teenagers, Chuck, Hudson, Julian, and Tessa dreamed of a life of adventure that would rival the marathon D&D games they played in Chuck's basement. Through years of job changes, marriages, kids, and divorce, their games never stopped, as Hudson's paladin, Hammer; Julian's wizard, Nuke; Tessa's rogue, Shade (and Chuck's over-the-top DMPC multiclass bard-sorcerer, Epic) grew to become the heroes that their real-life counterparts never did, battling the minions of the evil Baron Void, Chuck's most sinister NPC villain. Chuck owns a FLGS; Hudson's a traffic cop; Julian works in a bookstore; and Tessa is a stay-at-home mom. But with his 40th birthday approaching, Chuck decides it's time to grow up, move out of his mom's basement, and sell his store. Game over!
Or is it? Not if their characters have any say in the matter. Hammer, Nuke, Shade, and Epic find themselves powerless without players to believe in them and soon their world is threatened with annihilation by Baron Void! They set off for the real world to find their Players and convince them to come back to the game table one last time. Chaos ensues as the four heroes wrestle with the perils of surburbia in a quest to find their Players. At last, united with their characters, Chuck, Hudson, Julian, and Tessa experience a thrilling adventure in Chuck's world, first-hand, discovering reserves of courage and friendship they had long forgotten. His world saved (once again) from Baron Void, Chuck returns to the gaming table, and all four friends use their new-found courage to rescue their real lives from the doldrums (Chuck goes back to community college, Hudson applies for a position as a beat cop, Julian sends his fantasy novel to a publisher, and Tessa goes back to her first love, painting, finally overcoming her artist's block).

Wait, wait, wait. This is a great story. It makes for a great treatment. But once you slap the D&D logo on it, it becomes the D&D Cartoon in reverse. This is movie I wouldn't mind seeing. But it is not the D&D movie I want to see.

If you absolutely have to allude to the fact that it's a game, have the title sequence take place over an Erol Otus module cover with the story taken from the module shown. But save the kids in the basement for parodies like The Gamers.

 

[Twiggly the Gnome]

Pixar Studios presents Lords of the Basement

Perfect! Especially the voice casting of Ira Glass.

Of course you'll need a deus ex machina to get the player characters into the real world. I'm thinking maybe a unicorn that leads the quartet to a cave, containing a half-dozen abandoned magic items, and a dusty old roller coaster cart...

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Hmmm... I'd have to give it more thought than I have time for right now (just got a call, my Aunt's car needs a jump, so I have to run), but here goes nothin'.

I'd opt more for a mini-series- more time to develop characters & plot points than in a 90-180 minute movie.

1) Setting? Unique= a mix of elements from a variety of settings + some completely new stuff. That way, nobody could say "That's not right! There aren't any _________ in __________" Culturally mixed...some elements Western, some Eastern.

2) Races: I'd try to cherry-pick. Humans, Elves, Dwarves, of course... but not neccessarily as published. My Elves, for instance, would essentially have the "Woodling" template. I'd add Warforged and possibly a couple of unique races. Giff, Thri-Kreen, Githzerai, Anthropomorphic animals and others are all possible.

Plotline: Mixed (low to medium) PCs must protect an NPC who is entering a marriage of convenience that will end a war, but who is being targeted by forces for whom the continued warfare is desirable. (Think of the classic Trek episode, the "Elaan of Troyius.")

Plot Summary Marriage caravan starts in City 1, ventures into the wildnerness, gets cornered by a massive army, seeks shelter in a ruined keep, finds a back way out of the trap via the Underdark (including a bunch of assassinations to thin the party down to a screen-friendly 5 or so, a horde of undead crawling up a cavernous gap, a subterranean whitewater rafting sequence & so forth), get NPC "Prince(ss)" to City 2.

3) Actors: Mostly unknowns- I'd look for talent over names. Save a couple of roles for bigger names, say a King or Archmage or the like- short screen time, big impact- to help the draw. Pay big money for the BBEG- someone who won't be tempted to overact (like Jeremy Irons did), but can still be commanding. Patrick Stewart? Derek Jacobi? Judi Dench?

4) Director:Wong Jing - he's proven he can handle action, especially the over-the top kind.

http://www.lovehkfilm.com/people/wong_jing.htm

 

[Darth Shoju]

I must say this is a pretty darn good pitch.

Thanks! I'm curious though - who do you prefer for Drizzt: Mark or Adrian?

 

[Dykstrav]

Disclaimer: This is just for fun but WOTC is active in the film industry and we see a lot of actual pitches and often two ideas are the same or similar so if you think your idea is that good andor original don't post it here, it's the internet after all.

Mister Rouse, I've got a pitch that I'd seriously give to investors. I'd like to share it with you, but I'm not interested in posting it publicly. I've already had people try to steal two of my scripts, so it's something I'm careful about these days. If you'd like to contact me by PM or email, I'd love to get it in front of you.

Thanks for your time.