Player Meltdown; Input Requested

[Keeper of Secrets]

As a friend, you should encourage him to get some treatment. That sounds like social anxiety disorder.

As a GM, you should probably gently let him out of the gaming group, with a free invite back once he's had some treatment and is feeling better about dealing with the team. Or, failing that, ask him if he'd like to stay in the group with a different character, one with whom the player feels more comfortable.

The initial tone of your post suggests that you want us to make fun of this guy -- you're calling him "meltdown player", after all. Frankly, while I'm sorry that your game got disrupted, I'm also sorry that this guy went through such a humiliating and frustrating experience... with a group that appeared more concerned with continuing a story arc than whether one of the players was having a good time.

Next time a situation like that rolls around, see if there are ways to deal with it without having to shove the player through a situation he's not comfortable with. You could have just cut away from the player, giving him a break, and had other players get a magical warning that let them know that the occultist character was in trouble. A quick visit to his home shows that he's scheduled the date on his calendar, complete with the address of his romantic interest, and the heroes go there and get exactly the same information from the ghost-woman -- who is standing over the unconscious form of the occultist (who was overwhelmed by the ghost's pyschic energy and will remain unconscious for some undetermined time). You get to continue your plot, and you didn't have to force a player who was having an emotional crisis through something he didn't want to do.

Oh I did not mean to make fun of him at all. 'Meltdown player' was just something I wanted to use since I would be referencing several different people.

I think your idea was a really good one and honestly, I wish I could have come up with something that quick.

 

[phindar]

To make matters worse, the clues that are supposed to be found with the dead woman are to lead into the next chapter of the campaign. Cultists. Coming of a Lovecraft style god, etc. I can't have him back out. I can't start over again. I beg him to just make it through the next 15 minutes.

You know, if someone is having a mental breakdown... the course of the campaign is kind of a minor consideration. I mean, if he had appendicitis you probably wouldn't say, "Hey, I know your appendix just went septic, but let me get through the next 15 minutes of plot exposition and then I'll drive you to the hospital."

There's real s***, and then there's game s***. Game s*** can always be fixed, rebooted or retconned. To quote my old GM, Psychotic breaks have the right of way.

 

[roguerouge]

As a friend, you should encourage him to get some treatment. That sounds like social anxiety disorder.

The initial tone of your post suggests that you want us to make fun of this guy -- you're calling him "meltdown player", after all. Frankly, while I'm sorry that your game got disrupted, I'm also sorry that this guy went through such a humiliating and frustrating experience... with a group that appeared more concerned with continuing a story arc than whether one of the players was having a good time.

Next time a situation like that rolls around, see if there are ways to deal with it without having to shove the player through a situation he's not comfortable with. ... You get to continue your plot, and you didn't have to force a player who was having an emotional crisis through something he didn't want to do.

Quoted for truth.

And dude: You pushed him to do something he didn't want to do because you didn't want to do a cut-away scene. He had a breakdown. You blame him. Project much?

That's guilt you're feeling. The real person you should be asking WTF to is yourself. What kind of friend lets their friend hang like that?

Okay... Now that I'm cooled down a bit and read your follow up messages...

Learn from this experience. Keep gaming with the guy, but always think of cut scenes as backup plan. This is one case where railroading is useful and beneficial. Also, think hard about what you can do to solve your own performance anxiety that you experienced in that moment alone with him.

My advice? Whenever you're completely flummoxed, tell the gaming group to take 10 minutes and get some stuff from the fridge or to smoke 'em if you got 'em. You'll figure out what to do with ten minutes of solitude to think.

 

[Keeper of Secrets]

You know, if someone is having a mental breakdown... the course of the campaign is kind of a minor consideration. I mean, if he had appendicitis you probably wouldn't say, "Hey, I know your appendix just went septic, but let me get through the next 15 minutes of plot exposition and then I'll drive you to the hospital."

There's real s***, and then there's game s***. Game s*** can always be fixed, rebooted or retconned. To quote my old GM, Psychotic breaks have the right of way.

Its kind of funny you say that. One of the players at the game had just recently had his appendix burst and we were playing at his house so he could play.

 

[Awakened]

Yeah, this seems like something more delicate than just a player "meltdown." There are probably plenty of things in his life and state of mind that have led him to this point, and likely, he would have had this reaction at some point regardless of whether or not he was gaming.
It does seem like he should consider some help, these sorts of episodes are not all that uncommon and he should talk to a therapist or doctor. Knowing that his friends are concerned for him can be good, too. "WTF" won't cure anything, but "Hey, what happened, do you want to talk about it, I'm worried about you," etc. might. It's awkward to be empathetic with your bros, I know, but believe me, it'll probably mean a lot to him. My gaming group has always been patient with me when I go through certain times where I don't feel like running games.
By the way, I like your writing style, Keeper of Secrets, and that plot was very cool. I hope everything works out for your friend AND your game.

 

[Keeper of Secrets]

Thanks.

See, one of the things I think I did not articulate correctly was that I thought he was worried about doing the romance angle and doing the occult expert. I THOUGHT that just seeing that it was a mystery (of which is is the biggest supporter) would show him he did not have to be concerned about the romance angle.

Also, and I was loathe to bring this up at first because I was afraid it would get a negative reaction towards him, the character he currently has is the third character he is on in 12 months. I created this character especially for him, tailor made to his requests. I am starting to think the issue is more of he is just not happy in the game.

As far as helping him through the situation, I have reached out before on a variety of little things. Sometimes he is open. Sometimes he is not. There were a variety of dating issues he had a few years ago. Every time I introduced him to someone, he acted like she was not good enough, so due to some of the manic depression I am always a little careful about how I approach him with some of these issues.

 

[Varianor Abroad]

Is Monday Morning Quarterbacking helpful here? I think all of this was a lot clearer to Keeper of Secrets in retrospect than when "on the scene". More important is to help the player get through his problems now and know how to deal with it in the future. I agree that the player probably needs a break.

 

[Arashi Ravenblade]

Sounds like anxiety. Im myseld am wracked with unusual fits of anxiety, from not wanting to be around new people to not being able to order my own food. One minute im fine talking to some hot girl I just met, the next im nervous as hell while walking down a brightly lite street in the middle of Circleville, where almost no meaningful crime happens.
It's just something that happens to some people. You either deal with it or act around it. I myself cover it up with mass amounts of hubris and snobbery. Which is really me just being shy, so you wont know I'll act like a total jerk.
This guy seems to be more like the kind that cant handle it ever and the slightest thing sets him off if hes not used to it. I'd say try to work with him, but suggest he get help. If he is a good friend you dont want to ruin that by something he might not be able to help.

 

[takyris]

Oh I did not mean to make fun of him at all. 'Meltdown player' was just something I wanted to use since I would be referencing several different people.

I think your idea was a really good one and honestly, I wish I could have come up with something that quick.

Ah. Misread you, then.

As for coming up with that stuff... it's easier for me to do sitting here in front of my computer with all day to think than it must have been for you, getting blindsided by this.

 

[Keeper of Secrets]

Ah. Misread you, then.

As for coming up with that stuff... it's easier for me to do sitting here in front of my computer with all day to think than it must have been for you, getting blindsided by this.

Thanks for understanding. I guess I threw in terms like Meltdown just to make the post more interesting to read since I knew it would be long.

There are a bunch of different things I would have done in retrospect, now that I have had awhile to think about it. However, one of the things that has concerned me is that I sent him an email yesterday morning and as of yet have gotten no response. Typically, he is the kind of guy who will respond in a very brief amount of time.

As I previously mentioned I will be seeing him today for another game and will see if he wants to talk to me (about anything) or if he acts similarly in this game.