Players from Hell.

[Ranes]

Some great stories here, folks. Thanks for sharing them. My favourite has to be the guy who kept rolling up characters who then attacked a fellow PC. Superb.

So, I'll add something. I have met some dire players and DMs but one of the most anti-social, game-related acts I can remember is one that, er, I perpetrated.

I had just started a job in a small company and word of my gaming background quickly spread among my new colleagues. Within a few months, several of them had talked me into starting up a campaign for them. I had so much interest that the first thing I had to do was split the group into two. One group played at my boss's house.

Coincidentally, at around the same time, and in the neighbourhood of the boss's house, I had met a woman who I found very alluring. On the evening of the group's second session, shortly before the players - including my boss - arrived, I bumped into her again. We started talking and, thinking I had just enough time before everyone else arrived, I suggested we walk a few hundred yards to a picturesque pub (a converted, medieval riverside mill) for a drink. To my surprise, she happily agreed. We ended up spending the entire evening drinking champagne, eating strawberries and so on...

When I finally arrived at my boss's house, as I had expected, everyone was having a good time playing something else. There was much amusement at my arrival and my boss, naturally, asked me where I'd been. My honest but not inappropriately detailed reply brought cheers from around the table and I was forgiven. Bless 'em!

 

[Caliber]

I'll have to collaborate a bit with Angcuru on these(my memory for RL happenings is notoriously bad), but we will regale you with the epic tales of:

Phil, A Tale of Painkillers and Boxcutters and an Attempted Rape gone Wrong;
Patrick, or A Powergamer Buttmolests The DM into Sheer Godhood;
Sean, a.k.a "YOU CAN't DOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT!";
Jared, or "I wanna play a weretiger Akuma; remember that CD of porn, Ricky?";
Richard. "I was gaming in the womb!"
Chalupa Steve. A tale full of mispronounced names and Gold Dragons named "Rafe".
Pauly; Richard's older brother. a.k.a the reason why we can't game in the mall.
Schlager, "Grease isn't just the word, it's the EXISTENCE!" Water, despite our fondest hopes, never found it's way into this story.

If I can think of any others, I'll put them up here. But you can understand why we're so insane(and our gaming group so small, we attract more than our share).

You tease! Where are our stories!

I've had one or two odd experiences but none as bad as half the stories featured in here.

By the by, is www.albruno3.com still around? It was mentioned around page 2 or 3 of this thread and I KNOW I've read some of the stories there ... but I found them on a message board instead. I'd love to have a consolidated source, but the page does not display when I try the above adress.

 

[reveal]

You tease! Where are our stories!

I've had one or two odd experiences but none as bad as half the stories featured in here.

By the by, is www.albruno3.com still around? It was mentioned around page 2 or 3 of this thread and I KNOW I've read some of the stories there ... but I found them on a message board instead. I'd love to have a consolidated source, but the page does not display when I try the above adress.

albruno3.com seems to be down but albruno3.tripod.com/ is still alive.

 

[Look_a_Unicorn]

I think it's generally true for any male teenage gamer that:

Sex > Gaming > Sleep

Then you hit uni (college for any US'ers), and part time work, and have the opportunity to "meet" lots of different girls at lots of different parties, but there aren't enough hours in the day:

Sleep > Sex > Gaming

Then (I assume...) you work full time, get married and suddenly your priorities have "straightened out":

Gaming > Sleep > Sex (or so female magazines complain about the sex drive of married men...)

Ahhh the cycle of gaming life.
(btw I don't doubt that most married men have active sex lives (except my parents, they never actually slept together, really) but that doesn't fit as nicely, so . )

And while I've never known any "Gamers from Hell", I have had a few one-offs with otherwise ok gamers...

A guy, M, normally one of our best roleplayers & most interesting DM's, noticed a tray of muffins that my gf had pulled out of the oven to cool. As a flatmate we share food, so he (correctly) assumed it would be alright if he just snarfed a couple of the uber-yummy muffins down before the game. Unfortunatly no-one had yet had the opportunity to tell him that the muffins were "special" (ie pot. But remember kids, drugs are bad mmmkay). I thought the smell would have made it obvious, but apparantly not.

So he's doing his best to run the session despite a certain glassiness & occasional fits of giggles. We realise it's probably best to stop when the following event occurs:
M: Your ummm in the study thing of the guy you killed. Yeah.
Me: I still have Detect Secret Doors active, do I notice any as I look around the room?
M: Oh yeah, in the back corner. Nah, on the roof. In the corner. Hmmmm. *giggle*
Me: <Rogue> my arcane sight has revealed a secret door there <pointing>. But surely <BBEG> would not leave his treasures unguarded
Rogue: I move to the indicated area. Do I find the door?
M: *blank*
Rogue: Do I find the door?
M: Hmmmm? Oh yeah.
Rogue: I try to open it.
M: *giggles*
Rogue: Can I open it?
M: Sure *chuckle* why not.
Rogue: What do I see?
M: An open door! *laughs really really hard*
Me: Alrighty then, no more muffins for M. How about we watch Holy Grail instead?
All: *Resounding cheer & good-natured jokes at M's expense*

M now always asks if muffins are normal before eating them

Less amusing for those involved, in another game run by my brother (without muffins), a player J had a certain liking for surly withdrawn rangers. The last three had remarkable similarities to each other, and to J. But he was new so we were willing to let him learn at his own pace. But it is very true that you should be vary wary of what you do to another's PC. My Sister Eb is playing a gnome rogue, M has a Mage, my Paladin is absent...
J: I want to put my boot on the captured bandit so he can't escape, then threaten to stab out his eyes unless he tells us where the lair is.
DM: He cowers in terror. He seems too frightened to talk.
J: I stab him in the shoulder & demand he talks.
Eb: I don't like this, I call out to J to back off
M: Yes J, get down- my magic can "encourage" this fool to dispense the needed information *prestidigitation to seem intimidating*
DM: *Makes some rolls* The bandit cries in pain, and looks fearfully at the Mage. "What do you want to know, Lord"
J: I stab him again. He should see me as the bigger threat.
Eb: I've moved near them & I try to deflect his blow to one side
DM: *Roll opposed To Hit. Eb wins.* Your blade plundes into the ground bare inches from his throat, defleced by the gnome's shortsword.
J: I attempt to tackle the Gnome.
*Series of grapples ensues, gnome is eventually held up by the Ranger*
DM to M: You see the bandit sneaking away.
M: I let him go, I'm watching my two friends fight.
J: What! I stab the guy
DM: You didn't see him, your weapons on the ground & you have your hands full of gnome.
J: Oh. I throw the gnome at him.
DM: Opposed grapple. TIE!
M: I cast Cold Ray at J's arse. *hits*
Eb: I try to bite his hand. *wins, sinks in the teeth*
DM: Your butt goes numb & the gnome is gnawing on your hand. What do you do?
J: I draw my dagger & stab the gnome.
DM: Opposed grapple to draw your dagger. *Eb wins & escapes*
Eb: I run & hide in the corn-fields
J: I draw my bow & prepare to shoot if I see her
M: I ready another Cold Ray.
Eb: I load my crossbow
DM: Eb, you can see J silouted by the fire. J you can see nothing. M you have a ripe gluteus target lined up.
J: I call out "Come out & fight like a man!"
Eb: "I'm a female. And a gnome. And your stupid"
J: I fire at the source of the voice.
M: I use my readied action when I see him about to loose his arrow. *Rolls, hits*
DM: Ice-cold pain shoots through your arse again & you aren't able to shoot due to the distraction.
J: I turn & shoot the Mage.
Eb: Seeing him distracted, I rise up & shoot the Ranger.
DM: Roll initiative *Eb wins"
DM: Roll sneak attack damage as well.
Eb: *Hits. Lots of damage.*
DM: An arrow has pierced you through the leg & it can no longer support your weight. You drop to the ground. Your conscious, but barely.
J: I draw a dagger & wait for the Gnome to come close...
*Everyone groans. The DM says to give it up. J gets huffy & leaves.*

Later he apologises, but he stopped playing not long after that, because whenever he went to do something "fun" M would shoot a Ray of Cold at his butt & everyone would remind him that he was out-grappled & out-shot by a Gnome

 

[Tolen Mar]

Hello All,

I just waded through all 6 pages of this thread and I am amazed at how similar many of these stories are to my own. My player, named James, is the one who would bring booze to the house even though it would make the rest of us uncomfortable. James would always play the man in black who climbed up the nearest tree and snipe at passers-by with his bow/rifle/thrown rock. If he wasnt sniping, he would be picking pockets. Wash rinse repeat. He'd pick the merchants pockets, get caught, and in the middle of the ensuing battle try again. He would pick the wizards pocket and wonder why he ended up unconscious. He would pick the barmaids pocket (!?!), though that one was just to get slapped (he seemed to enjoy it).

If you tried to talk to him about it, he trotted out the old 'I was just acting in character' defense. 3 different systems, 3 different setting types, and he always played the same. We were getting rather annoyed about it.
(This, BTW, is the light version. To detail all of the things he did would take too long.)

So my solution was to start over. I created a set of rules and a new premise. To make a long story short, I dissallowed thieves and evil alignments. I required my players to come up with a background for the characters before we began to play and specifically dissallowed his favorite 'my parents were killed when I was young.' I emailed the rules to all of my players, and everyone loved the idea. The next session everyone was ready to go with the best, most exciting characters we ever played (you know, the kind that end up in the hall of fame years later, never forgotten). All except James, that is. Two weeks later, I got a nasty email back from him railing on and on about how I was stifling his creativity and how I didnt like a game or a player unless they perfectly matched my idea of a good thing. Maybe that was true, but after trying for weeks to get him to straigten out, no one missed him coming around anymore.

I'm inclined now to remember one of my worst players (as an example that things can change for the better). Barry was a character in and of himself. My wife used to go to the same camp he did and can regale me with tales of terror about how he acted those days. (He claims he doesnt remember it). At any rate, this guy liked to argue and cause all kinds of trouble. He was one of the guys who would argue aver a ruling for an hour, even during a games session just because he could. Once he was invited to our Star Fleet Battles group by my friend. I warned said friend that this was a bad idea, but he persisted. After Barry left that night, my friend turned to me with a look of shock on his face.

"I warned you he would be like this." I said.

"Yeah, but I didnt think he would be THAT bad."

So we reluctantly start a new RIFTS campaign, I had just downloaded a mega-huge netbook of OCC's and RCC's to use. I must have been out of it, because I ended up letting Barry play a highlander-style immortal. I quickly learned how big a mistake that was. The very first shop the PC's went into, Barry starts causing trouble. Just for the fun of it, he starts to accost the shopkeeper. Before it is over, we have just finished a huge gunfight with a SWAT team (well, the RIFTS equivalent anyway), and narrowly made our escape. His excuse was that he could do what he wanted, he couldnt be killed.

Well, because of that session and that remark, I decided to show him no character was immune to the gods (the DM). I designed an adventure locale that was basically an old salem witch town. It was run by the local preacher who would rail on and on about the evil ones and how they would corrupt a soul...yada yada yada. Said preacher invited the PC's to dinner, where we saw that he had a beautiful backwoods daughter. He took the bait. The preacher found them in ah...post-coital bliss (Can I say that without offending anyone?). And immediatly determined he was a devil spawn. Took the PC's, locked them up, and sentenced Barry's character to death. By Guillotine. In the Public Square. Needless to say, after the quickening destroyed several houses nearby and lit a minor forest fire, the locals were even more convinced of the preachers accuracy in spotting demons. Incidentally the rest of the PC's were able to negotiate their release. (Also, the party had a gargoyle-like character, but the preacher didnt pick on it 'because as misshappen as it is, it is little more than a creature and is yet beyond morals.')

Barry didnt come around for a few months. He was reluctantly let back into the group with many promises that he wouldnt act over the top anymore. Strange thing is, right about that time, he really changed. He was far less of a jerk anymore. He didnt argue just to hear his own voice. His crudeness level dropped way low. Now he is one of my best friends and we still game today. Even my wife (who couldnt stand him) is surprised by how different he is.

I just wish I knew what happened. He is a completely different person now.

 

[Agback]

Slightly OT, I was playing Euchere (sp?) with some black friends, and was trying to explain renigging. I was so scared that some hick had come up with the word, that I didn't want to tell them.

It's spelled 'renege', and is the source of the word 'renegade', It has nothing to do with the Latin word for 'black' or its various derivatives.

And the game is 'eucre', by the way.

Regards,


Agback

 

[Kender42]

It's spelled 'renege', and is the source of the word 'renegade', It has nothing to do with the Latin word for 'black' or its various derivatives.

And the game is 'eucre', by the way.

Regards,


Agback

Actually, "Euchre" is how it's spelled. Sorry. Though you are correct about renege.

"Medieval Latin renegre, to deny. See renegade"

My story (short as it is...)

The only time we ever have had alcohol at our table, it was actually for kind of a good reason.

One of the players (We'll call him Jorge, because that is his name) decided he wanted to play a "Drunken Master" type character.
So he bought a quart of Jack Daniels with him. Every time his character took a drink, so did Jorge. About an hour into the game, player and character were feeling no pain.. An hour later, we started taking pictures of the now slobbering drunk player (which he has never lived down) and soon after he dropped off to sleep on the couch. We continued on unfazed by the 'loss' of the drunken master.

I guess I have been blessed overall with really good players and mostly good DM's over my 24 years of playing (and running) D&D and other RPG's.

I still want to find me a DM-groupie though. (Yes, the formula is Nookie > Sleep > Gaming now. )

 

[Hardhead]

We had a guy in one of our games who loved to say how "gay" everything was. He told us his rolls were being "gay" when they didnt go his way, the rules were "gay" when they didnt suit him, etc. etc. He didnt even bother to ask if it pissed any of us off. One of the guys that gamed with us was gay, although he didt go around talking about it (why would he?) so this other idiot didnt know. We all felt so bad for our gay friend and so steamed at the idiocy of the goober who kept calling everything "gay" in a derogatory fashion that I stopped the game early and told this guy that he didnt fit in with our group. He wasnt invited back.

About seven years ago, my entire group was into Magic, so we hung around card shops where there were a lot of high schoolers (our group ranged from *very* late teens to early thirties). Well, everyone around there used "gay" in the derogatory fashion, and even though we knew better, it somehow slipped into our vocabulary.

Fast forward to about one year ago. We've all stoped playing Magic, but "gay" has persisted as group slang for "lame." We don't use it commonly, but enough. Then, one of our members comes out of the closet. I'll call him T, because he still hasn't told his very conservative Christian family, and I'm not going to risk being the one to somehow let his family know, no matter how slim the chances of that happening on ENWorld are.

Anyway, it was no big surprise - I was 90% sure he was gay (actually, bisexual) before he told everyone. But of course, everyone is careful not to use "gay" in a derogatory fashion after that.

Next week, we're talking about some book, and T says it's "gay." We all sit there for a second. Is he talking about some sort of homosexual d20 book, another friend asks? T looks at him like he's a moron and says "No, it just sucks."

Hilarity ensues over the misunderstanding, and it comes to light that T doesn't really consider "gay" offensive. To him, it's a word with three meanings - happy, homosexual, and lame, and the meanings are unrelated. He knows a lot of people mean it as a slur, but he also knows that we, his friends, don't (after all, other words, like gypped, started out as slurs too and then lost that aspect). Still, we all pretty much agree that we probably shouldn't be using it in the first place and nowadays we try not to use "gay" in that fashion. Funnily enough, it's still T that does it the most, usually without realizing it.

 

[Kender42]

Hilarity ensues over the misunderstanding, and it comes to light that T doesn't really consider "gay" offensive. To him, it's a word with three meanings - happy, homosexual, and lame, and the meanings are unrelated. He knows a lot of people mean it as a slur, but he also knows that we, his friends, don't (after all, other words, like gypped, started out as slurs too and then lost that aspect). Still, we all pretty much agree that we probably shouldn't be using it in the first place and nowadays we try not to use "gay" in that fashion. Funnily enough, it's still T that does it the most, usually without realizing it.

I have a gay friend who I once said "That's hella gay!" (I think we all got it from South Park, actually) and I kinda did the "Oops! What did I just say?!" face.. He laughed and said "It's okay. I give you permission, as a representative of the gay community, to use the term 'gay' in that manner."

He's such a cool guy.

 

[kalunk]

At our table there is a six pack requriment...anything after that is just a bonus! I guess everyone defines fun in different ways.