iserith
Magic Wordsmith
I've played with hundreds as well, and noted several very clear different sets of expectations.
Some have fun by playing RPG's as conflict simulations — wargames, if you will — and especially tactical simulations. They generally don't care much about the story. They don't have fun when the story doesn't involve conflicts they can win.
Some have fun by being in-character. Not, per se, acting, but by picking actions that the character would/should, even if it leads to defeats. A few of my players over the years are VERY much into this; one even tho' he's a very competent tactician. He will NOT play tactics if the character isn't of that ilk, and gets really annoyed by tactics-first players. He wants story to emerge from character interactions. He often resents modules as being incompatible with the character he's currently playing.
Some have fun by progressing a story - they're very happy playing a module, provided the module implies strongly enough how to progress to the next part. They are also happy causing a story to emerge from play. But they want that story.
Others are Emergent story only - they don't particularly get into character, but also want a story emergent from play choices. They're as happy playing Fiasco and Aye Dark Overlord as with open ended hex-crawls.
And I've met a few for whom it's all an excuse for improv acting. They get incredibly frustrated in my games, because they tend to be the only ones in character voice most of the time. I can't stand them, either.
With D&D 5e, I can play with all of those people at the same table. Here are 15 or so scenarios for D&D 5e that I created that'll please them all.
Mr. or Ms. Combat will have no shortage of fights, after all this game is about bold adventurers confronting deadly perils. That's right on page 2.
Person Who Does What the Character Might Do? He or she can do that -and suck out loud at combat, since combat isn't always the best solution anyway. And if he or she plays to established traits, ideals, bonds, or flaws, I can reward that with Inspiration. And that player can reward other players with that Inspiration by passing his or hers to others.
The story folks are the easiest to please - every game (plot or no-plot) produces a story simply by playing it. They can just have fun making choices that make that emergent story better.
And the Improv Guys and Gals - no worries. D&D is a game based on improvisation with a set of rules for task and conflict resolution. Both active and descriptive roleplaying are accepted means of interacting, according to D&D 5e. They can rack up Inspiration just like the folks who only do what their character might do.
So all it takes is a passionate DM to prepare content and facilitate the game and players who aren't dysfunctional humans that are incapable of any kind of compromise or who will put their personal priorities over everyone else to the detriment of the game. For all the words spent on "playstyle," it doesn't amount to much in my view. I'll have the lot of them at my table and we'll have a blast.