Problems with Gaming Group Member

[apocalypstick]

Yell at him.

Not in front of the group, of course, but let yourself go, man. Blow your top at him. Just do it constructively. I don't know the guy, obviously, but IME, guys are less likely to respond positively to a "touchy-feely-lets-talk-about-it" conversation than a "dude! what's up?! you're severely pissing me off here!" the former seems patronizing; the latter (again, IME) actually comes off as more respectful.

Sounds horrible, I know. But "lets talk about our feelings" can be somewhat emasculating when it's between guys. Obviously you want something constructive to come from this exchange, so I don't think I should have to mention that after you challenge him to shape up, let him know that you're only pissed off at him because you're his friend and you want to know what's keeping him from having a good time.

Just a guy's perspective. Feel free to disagree. And, of course, the caveat: if he is sufferng from emotional issues that would be better dealt with by a "pro" than just a good-natured kick in the pants from a friend, this approach will probably help in the short run but hurt more in the long run.

You know best.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Yell at him.

Not in front of the group, of course, but let yourself go, man. Blow your top at him. Just do it constructively. I don't know the guy, obviously, but IME, guys are less likely to respond positively to a "touchy-feely-lets-talk-about-it" conversation than a "dude! what's up?! you're severely pissing me off here!" the former seems patronizing; the latter (again, IME) actually comes off as more respectful.

Sounds horrible, I know. But "lets talk about our feelings" can be somewhat emasculating when it's between guys....

....

Identical to the advice I was going to give!

nice one Apocalypstick!

 

[jokamachi]

Are you guys friends outside of gaming? It sounds like Chuck has some RL going on.

That was my first thought, too.

 

[SneakyB]

Pull him aside, tell him that his behavior is not conducive to everyone's enjoyment and that the group, as a whole, is beginning to enjoy themselves less with his childish behavior. If he doesn't take the HINT, then:

BOOT HIM

Seriously. This is supposed to be about having fun. People who act like an *** ruin the fun and should be summarily dismissed after being given a chance to correct their behavior and refusing to do so.

Just my 2 cents,

Dan

 

[TiQuinn]

Recently, our gaming group has the problem with a member who plays in my campaign and loves to DM (and is actually DMing the current game right now at my FLGS). I know, the catch-all solution would be to kick him out, but our gaming group is already low on gamers as it is. This member, who we'll refer to as "Chuck" for the purposes of this thread, is quite plainly being a jerk. Whenever someone tells him something, he says, in this sarcastic tone: "Wow. Like I care." Whenever I tell him about a rule or about the new RPG products or even about a sequel to one of his favorite movies, he'll just go, "Wow. Like I care." Also, all of his characters act the same way. Chuck quits a game when he doesn't get his way, and he shows up late to game sessions on purpose (we know because he actually told us this). Our group is planning to do something about him, but knowing Chuck, he'll just wallow in self-pity and stop coming to our FLGS, further hindering our gaming group. Our group is already planning something, but I was wondering if anyone had helpful suggestions or thoughts about this problem with Chuck.

Thanks in advance.

Cheers!

It sounds like Chuck has issues beyond the game that you probably can't resolve.

 

[Hackenslash]

Pull him aside, tell him that his behavior is not conducive to everyone's enjoyment and that the group, as a whole, is beginning to enjoy themselves less with his childish behavior. If he doesn't take the HINT, then:

BOOT HIM

Seriously. This is supposed to be about having fun. People who act like an *** ruin the fun and should be summarily dismissed after being given a chance to correct their behavior and refusing to do so.

Just my 2 cents,

Dan

Without sounding too harsh, this would be my own sentiments. Sometimes you have to let people know that they are disrupting the group and that they are generally being unpleasant, and if they are not prepared to change then sorry, but you gotta let them go. Life is just too short to be putting up with crappy attitudes at a gaming session, where most of go to get away from it all and have fun. But in any case I would have to say that you must talk with him and let him know that he is getting out of hand and that if his behaviour and attitude does not improve, then you will be forced to let him go. We have had a few disagreeable types in our group that have come and gone and over the years this is how we have generally dealt with it.

 

[apocalypstick]

....

Identical to the advice I was going to give!

nice one Apocalypstick!

Heh.

And here I returned to the thread expecting to be flamed.