[RANT] Commercial That Annoys You

[Hypersmurf]

Why, when I read that, do I picture a smurf grinning at me maniacally while holding those durned mints right next to his face?

Aww, c'mon... when you recognise my Extreme Freshness, there's no way you can possibly stay mad at me...

-Hyp.

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

From my column a few months ago:

While watching Conan last night with Rachel, we happened across a commercial for Sunsetter Retractable Awnings. Now, there's a comfortable pattern to commercials like these; they usually begin with some sort of pre-purchase testimonial by a customer about why their life was unliveable until they bought the product. Usually it's in black-and-white, featuring Customer Woman getting very frustrated over some trivial activity. In this particular ad, a woman was discussing at length the problems she had with her old patio table's umbrella while trying to entertain their good friends, the "Mackenzies". Then, the camera pans over the table to show the "Mackenzies", who just so happen to be very Asian.

Now, far be it from me to generalize. I'm sure in the entire world you can probably find enough Asian MacSomethings to fill your average-sized VFW hall, even if you choose not to include people who got the name from marrying the caucasian Mr. MacSomething. But don't you think, just maybe, this is a little quirkier than a commercial for retractable awnings needs to be?

It led me down a whole path of thought. How did this happen? Was the script written with "Mackenzies" and the only actors who really nailed the role of a couple with sun in their eyes Asian? Did the director want to change the names, but there was a frustrated ad copy writer who refused to compromise his vision? Did the family Americanize their name when they came to this country (as my family did)? Are they advance operatives from Beijing, sent to acquire the secrets of our patio furniture technology? Is there some part of Scotland filled with Asians? Why weren't they in Braveheart?

Please help me. My world no longer makes sense.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Mentos breath mints--Every time I see those commercials I want to punch everyone in them.

Du-be-du-wa-Du-WAHHHHH (kahuna burger complusivly sings the old mentos theme to herself for next half hour.....)

I liked the old ones of those, I haven't really seen as many of the new ones. I found the Quiznos comercials oddly compelling, especially the one about bringing in any coupon...

Now one I haven't seen mentioned (probably because its local) are the Comcast comercials for "on demand". They feature this incredibly annoying guy who randomly accosts strangers and integrates himselves into their lives to promote on demand in a way that makes most jehovah's witnesses look retiring and shy. I've developed a serious aversion reflex to any of these commercials (which tend to start outside out of focus video stores, probably leading to some sort of pychological trauma next time I drive by a generic video store in the rain...) and freak out if I can't find the remote when one comes on.... they are that bad.

I kinda like the kid with the soapbox hummer commercial. At least he's taking his 'hummer' OFF ROAD unlike the vast majority of overpaid twits who will buy those obscinities.... (cough cough). That and the "asteroid's hummer" one are cute.

Kahuna Burger

 

[Hypersmurf]

Du-be-du-wa-Du-WAHHHHH (kahuna burger complusivly sings the old mentos theme to herself for next half hour.....)

Ahh, see? She's Fresh And Full Of Life!

-Hyp.

 

[diaglo]

ever get that not so fresh feeling.... douche commercials tick me off.


GE commercials tick me off too... esp the one with a gamer geek sporting his d02 books.

 

[Mystery Man]

If you have a "Menards" hardware store in your area you know of the annoying old man in the commercial of which I speak. I thought at one point he was dying and had to retire or something but no, he's back.

 

[Mog Elffoe]

Ahh, see? She's Fresh And Full Of Life!

-Hyp.

Grruhh...

This is what's called cruel and unusual, Hyp.

Whenever I picture those guys giving those smug smirks at the end of the commercial I just want to splash acid in their faces...

 

[Hypersmurf]

Whenever I picture those guys giving those smug smirks at the end of the commercial I just want to splash acid in their faces...

Yes, you've made your unFreshness abundantly clear

-Hyp.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Yes, you've made your unFreshness abundantly clear

-Hyp.

"What happened to you?"

"ugh, I accidentally sat on a guy's groceries on the bus..."

"He beat you up because you sat on his groceries?"

"Well, actually he didn't hit me until I tried to lighten the mood with a Mentos"

"OOH, the Fresh-Maker!"

 

[LightPhoenix]

Man, I could really stand to be FAFOL right now... what I wouldn't give for the mighty Excalibur of candies right now...