Rant: Players who don't DM

[scourger]

Man, be happy you have 3 regular gaming groups in which games are run that you like to play and in which you can run games that you like to DM!

My weekly game group looks a little shy of DMs right now (including me), but someone invariably steps to the plate (won't be me for a while). We have 1 guy who never has (and likely never will) DM, but he plays everything (unlike all the other players who have tried DMing and are quick to skip a game that they don't like), so that player gets no complaints from me.

I have been the only DM in my monthly group for some time. It works for me since I decided to just enjoy playing weekly and DMing monthly. It took me a while to embrace that split, but I am determined to enjoy it.

I would rather have 1 dedicated player who never DMs than half a dozen wishy-washy players who sometimes DM. Trust me, it sucks to prepare a game to DM and have only the one dedicated player show up while the half dozen other fair-weather-players/sometimes-DMs aren't there for your game!

 

[dreaded_beast]

Ask yourself this:

"What is worse, running a good game or playing in a bad one?"

 

[Chimera]

Some people just aren't cut out for it. Some don't have the skills. Some don't want to. I don't hold it against them.

Actually, I'd prefer that people who don't have the skill set, who aren't cut out for it don't GM. Because it will only stress them out and result in a bad game for all involved. Then they'll perhaps be embarassed or upset and not want to continue playing with the group. Especially if severely criticized for their efforts. (Some people can be extremely mean when players and GMs don't meet their standards.)

My only problem with people who don't GM are those who act like it's no big deal and show no appreciation for the effort required to manage a game and come up with new adventuring material. Who show up late and get pissy because we the GM are supposed to do what we do and like it, regardless of the feedback and lack of player participation.

 

[Stormborn]

I don't think DMing is for everyone. If you were playing baseball you wouldn't make everyone take turns being the pitcher, or being the goalie in soccer, right? Because there are different skill sets to different aspects of the game. Being DM is one position. Being different kinds of characters are others. Not everyone can pull of spellcaster or fighter or what-have-you.

Having said that. In a group of 4 all but 1 of us DM occasionally. Lately its mostly me, but thats OK, I love world building and we are in a long runnign game (for us) that is a homebrewed world that the players all seem to be really attached to. The 1 person who hasn't is my wife. The idea of DMing freaks her out. She has been playing almost as long as I have, but our approaches are completly different. She feels overwhelmed by all the stuff a DM has to know, and me telling her she can make it up as she goes along doesn't get very far. I think it would be good for her to DM just once. But, I also think that she wouldn't enjoy it really. She would be far to worried about the results and if she was doing everything right. And, since the rest of us have pleanty of material to DM from, there is no need for her to do it.

Yes, DMing takes more work than just playing a PC, but I have players who do as much work on their characters as I do some weeks on the game. And I enjoy the work. That is as much fun as the game itself.

For those who think that DMing is a chore that everyone should take a turn at, I wonder if you like being the DM at all, or is it something that you do because you feel you have to just to be able to play?

 

[BlackMoria]

DMing takes some talent to be good at it and not every player has the talent to DM.

I once played in a campaign in which everyone was told they had to DM at some point.

Bad Bad Bad idea. The pain. The misery. One person was so awful at it, the group fired him as DM. We suffered through 2 DMs who barely met the mininum standard to sit behind a DM screen. They didn't enjoy DMing, we didn't enjoy playing in their game.

Finally, we went back to the two people who wanted to DM and were good at it (I was one of them) and everyone was once again happy.

Trust me on this - if a player is not willingly stepping up to the plate to DM, let 'em sit on the player's side of the table. Everyone will be better off for it.

 

[Mystery Man]

This is a personal preference, but I don't like groups that have multiple DM's. I'd rather have a long running campaign that's consistent and dependable where players can see their characters thruogh many levels of play. I would rather DM, my players would rather play so we all know that the campaign is going to go for a good long time.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking having many DM's taking turns, it's just not my style.

 

[der_kluge]

This is quite odd to me.

I couldn't imagine ever being angry at someone for just playing in a game that I was running. I mean, we've grown a bit, and now have 7 players. I'm DM #3 from this group (meaning, my campaign is currently going on), and I know 3 others have DM'd in the past (2nd edition), and another has probably GM'd other systems, and with some work could probably DM D&D, which just leaves 1 - the wife of the 2nd DM in our group. She knows just enough of the rules to play fighter-type characters, loves to roleplay, and we're glad to have her. None of us would ever expect her to DM.

I mean, we've ran year-long campaigns, and we're on game #3, so even if we all DM'd, it'd be 2008 before everyone would even get their turn.

I love DM'ing, and if time weren't an issue, I'd do it all the time, though I do like playing occasionally. It sounds to me like you are already DM-rich, so stop your bitching, and just play already!

Reading between the lines here, it sounds to me like you see DM'ing as work, and don't want to do it all the time, and want to spread that around more. If you don't like to DM, you should just stop. It's not mandatory that everyone who plays D&D has to DM.

 

[JesterPoet]

Uggg... too many responses too fast to touch on everyone's comments. But they're all decent points.

Here's the thing, though, that still makes it a sticky issue for me. As a child I was taught that you can't claim to dislike something until you try it. These players, have not stepped up to even try.

Chick 1 gave it the old college try with a module. She really did a decent job, but she felt like she didn't, and I can understand that. But she can only make that informed decision because she gave it a try.

I just don't think that successful DMing is this magical, ephemeral beast that some of you are making it out to be. Great DMing? Well, that's another story, but successful DMing can be accomplished with practice, and without any gift.

On the CRUMMY|--------------------------------|GREAT scale of DMing, I'd put myself at a "decent" to "moderately good". I think that's where I need to be to run games frequently. I can put Chick 1 pretty solidly at "decent" and Dude 1 pretty solidly at "good". Those are fine places to be for what we all want to do. Chicks 2 & 3 may be crummy, or they may be great, but we'll never know, because they won't try.

I would never suggest that they leave the group because they don't want to run. They're good roleplayers, and more importantly, friends. Be that as it may, I have to say that I have significantly more respect for gamers who are willing to wear the GM hat at least once. It doesn't matter if you suck at it. All that matters is that you try.


EDIT:

Repaired a MAJOR typo in the first sentance of the last paragraph.

 

[SweeneyTodd]

I think you really just need to ask them, if it's that important. My anecdotal experience is that I've only been in one gaming group where there was more than one person who felt comfortable GMing. (Which is fine with me -- personally, I don't enjoy playing that much.) I don't think the majority of players have even considered GMing, to be honest. (I think on the Internet it's a different demographic -- most people interested enough in RPGs to post about them a lot also enjoy running games.)

 

[Stormborn]

I am inclined to agree with the "Try it before you say you don't like it." statement, but if you know that "X" thing envolves "Y" tasks or elements and you don' t like "Y" then you probablly wont like "X" and I am OK with you saying that you don't want to try it.