And oftentimes the players' default is to say not to. The option to say yes, however, is always open to them; I-as-DM won't shut it down should they choose to exercise said option.
But, again,
those two things are not the same!
"We always do X, unless someone says no" is ENTIRELY different from "We
can always do X, if someone wants to".
Like...let me give this a physical implementation. "We always do X, unless someone says no" vs "We
can always do X, if someone wants to" in the context of...let's say an amusement park. Disneyland, if you prefer. Let X be "ride a ride when we pass it".
The former is, "We always ride a ride when we pass it, unless someone says no" means you WILL ride, definitely each and every time,
unless someone speaks up and declines. The park-goers who follow this rule
must ride the ride,
unless someone says not to. This dose not, in any way, imply that there's any negative connotation to say no. But it does mean that someone actually has to nix it, otherwise it WILL happen, regardless of what people feel about it.
The latter is, "We
can always ride a ride when we pass it, if someone expresses interest." That creates no obligation, nor does it require anyone to "speak up" to make it not happen. The option is left open, if anyone feels like pursuing it. There is no specific expectation that the group
will do so, but it requires interest on someone's part in order for it to happen. If nobody feels particularly interested, the group defaults to not taking the ride.
That's the fundamental thing I was arguing against here. You explicitly said the former thing originally. There was no "saying yes". Yes was automatic,
unless vetoed by an active "no". The other is a presumption that, if no one voices interest, nobody
is interested. Interest has to be expressed. It is not presumed.
If your standard is, "There is always the option
if someone expresses interest, but I won't force it to happen", then that is not and cannot be "we will always take that option
unless someone says they
don't want to." I was arguing against the former specifically because it is forcing things to happen regardless of whether the players are interested. That is what was originally said. It
will happen,
unless someone says no.
If you
meant "It CAN happen, as long as anyone says 'yes'," then you communicated that exceptionally poorly before. I accept that that's what you're saying now, but it's pretty annoying to have people act like I'm somehow being weird or unreasonable for reading "I say the default should be to play them out unless the players say not to" as meaning...y'know, that the players have to say not to!