D&D 5E [RANT] Why are centaurs not humanoids / unplayable?

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By the way, I am sorry if I come as hostile about this. It's just one of the little things that properly grinds my gears.

You don't have to let it grind anything. Detail the race with traits and limitations like any other PC race and include them as playable in your campaign. No different than any other race that you may want to create for PC use. There are guidelines for creating races & classes in the DMG. Read it over and give it try. You can post your PC centaur race here and get feedback and comments on it. The community will usually be happy to help you tweak and balance it if you ask.

There are many weaknesses that centaurs face, not the least of which is difficulty during job interviews. :p
 
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This is fresh off the top of my head, so it may not be very well balanced. It looks a tad under-powered to me, compared to standard races like dwarf and elf; except the "monstrousity" type may be very powerful, it's hard to tell (in my experience, PCs don't get hit by hold person or charm person or crown of madness all that often; but immunity to dominate person is pretty cool). But I would contend that it is entirely playable -- meaning, I think it's pretty clear how playing this race would work, and their drawbacks aren't severe enough to cripple them as adventurers.

I'm releasing this Pay-What-You-Want, although at present the only currency I accept is ENWorld XP.


Centaur
Ability Score Increase. Strength +2, Constitution +1.
Speed. 50 ft.
Size. Large. Your carrying capacity is doubled, but armor and clothing for you weighs twice as much as for a humanoid, and costs four times as much. You require four times as much food and water as a normal humanoid. Moving through a passage big enough for a medium-sized creature requires you to squeeze.
Monstrosity. Your creature type is "monstrosity," rendering you immune to effects that only affect humanoids, such as the spells charm person and hold person.
Equine Shape. You have disadvantage on ability checks made to climb, tumble, or balance on a narrow surface.
Equine Toughness. Your hit point maximum increases by 1, and it increases by 1 every time you gain a level.
Hooves. Your unarmed strike deals 1d6 bludgeoning damage.
Centaur Weapon Training. You are proficient in the spear, pike, shortbow, and longbow.
Languages. Common, Elven, and Sylvan.

My theory is that the stat block in the Monster Manual represents a centaur warrior, a protector of the tribe, who's got some skills, ability scores, hit dice, and special abilities above and beyond your typical "I am a 1st-level PC" centaur. (By way of analogy, the lowest-level drow and lowest level svirfneblin in the MM are both 3-HD creatures.) I know some people don't like to see a discrepancy between player race stats and monster stats, but I think it works well in this case, because if you create a 6th-level centaur fighter with the Charger feat, the result looks remarkably like the MM stat block. (The numbers aren't exactly the same -- your hoof damage and charge damage will be less -- but you'll have more hit points and skills, plus all those great fighter special abilities.)
 

Does anybody know why centaurs are not considered humanoids, yet mermaids (merfolk) and aaracoras are?
Also why are they unplayable (they make much more sense than a bird creature that dies when it hits 30)?

Centaurs aren't unplayable, they just haven't been statted up as a PC race yet. Unless you mean in the AL, in which case the air-a-Coca-Cola (or however you spell that) is also not legal for AL play despite having been statted up; so take that for what it's worth.

As for them being humanoid, they aren't. Humanoid generally implies the shape of a human, meaning bipedal (which also means merfolk should not qualify since they're unipedal, or whatever you'd call having only a single appendage to propel yourself with). If you're talking about humanoid as in some kind of keyword, then I have no clue why they decided to do it that way; just like I have no idea why some spells, like plant growth, don't have the ritual tag attached to them.
 

The fact that they are not humanoid does indeed make them unplayable - Magic Jar, Reincarnate are out of question, Hold Person doesn't work on them etc.

Does that make them unplayable? It just makes them different. Which is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Being immune to Hold Person and being immune to possession via Magic Jar sound like advantages to me. You can still cast a Magic Jar; being non-humanoid just makes you immune to possession via somebody else's jar.

Being immune to Reincarnation is a bit of a bummer, but don't die, and it isn't a problem. Fortunately, Raise Dead and Resurrection are both OK.

Non-humanoids can't be animated via a vanilla Animate Dead and Create Undead spells. A strict reading of the rules also suggest that a centaur should be immune to Calm Emotions, Charm Person, and Dominate Person. None of these seem like disasters for a PC. In fact, these seem like advantages or at worst irrelevant. How often are PCs the target of Animate Dead?

Non-humanoids are also immune to some standard diseases. Which also seems like a bonus. But, I guess a centaur could get Equine influenza, or something, instead.

The biggest problems centaurs are likely to have (as others have noted) is social interactions and manoeuvring indoors, up ladders, etc. Then again, being literally hung like a horse might not be considered a social impediment...
 


Does the centaur actually need to be Large? The Goliath gives us precedent for a race being substantially larger than normal without actually have the large size applied to it.
 

Does the centaur actually need to be Large?

A horse is Large. So, centaurs should be too.

Also to carry other (Medium sized) characters into combat a mount must be at least one size larger. So, if a centaur PC is going to be carrying other PCs into combat he has to be Large.
 

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