But it's OK for you to use your feelings against them as a weapon?
No, people shouldn't be weaponizing their feelings. You can express them. But we have to express them as adults and realize at the end fo the day, we can't control the outcome. I may really want to play in a game, but my friends may not be able to play that game without a certain element present, even if I say that element causes me problems. That doesn't mean they hate me or that they want to exclude me. But they have a right to want to continue to play a game in a way that fits what they want, and they have a right to say they don't know how to handle something like a person having a major phobia or panic disorder at the table. This is just something groups need to figure out amongst themselves.