5E REALLY REALLY BAD DM ADVICE

jasper

Rotten DM
Ok let put up some advice which is will cause the DM's campaign to crash and burn quickly.
1. Have an epic story built around one PC. Make sure the player has a busy work/study/life load so they will miss every other session.
2. Add lots of homebrew rules. Even if you have finish reading the core books.
3. Schedule games opposite of other major activities. Bob can skip his wedding just to play.
And take it away.
 
Be sure to have a powerful DMPC accompany the party everywhere and do all the talking to important NPCs.

Constantly change homebrew rules and rulings from session to session. (It is most important to do this just when newer players are starting to understand the system.)
 
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Esker

Abventuree
Make sure you spend as much table time as needed to have a dialogue with that one rules-lawyer player to reach an agreeable compromise for each and every point of disagreement. Don't assume that this is something that can wait until after the session; it's critical that the game not continue until everyone is satisfied that the rules are being applied correctly and consistently.
 

Don Durito

Adventurer
It's important to challenge the PCs. If they get what they want the game is no fun.

This means if Bob is playing a Fighter put him in lots of situations where he never gets to Fight. If you have a Wizard, put the Dungeon in an anti-magic zone. If you have a Cleric make his god mysteriously disappear early in the campaign so that it is no longer able to answer prayers and grant spells. This one has a double benefit - not only does it challenge the Cleric, but it also provides a great hook for an epic campaign as the Cleric spends 20 levels trying to find out what happened to his god.
 
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Charlaquin

Goblin Queen
Only the plot matters. Fudge dice rolls, change monster HP on the fly (or better yet, don't even use HP for monsters. You can just have them die whenever it "feels right.") Whatever you need to do to get the in-game events to line up with the plot you wrote ahead of time.
 

Oofta

Title? I don't need no stinkin' title.
Advertise a horror based D&D game. When the players get there let them know there will be no combat, no spells, home brew classes such as "athlete" and "scholar". Oh, and it's going to be set in modern times, there is no magic and you have your own skill based resolution system.

Too soon? :unsure:
 

Olrox17

Explorer
The key to a successful campaign is writing the entire plot far in advance, and making sure the players follow it closely, exactly as you planned. Never let your players stray from the railroaded plot, or else you may be forced to (gasp!) improvise!
 

Aebir-Toril

Is lukewarm on the Forgotten Realms
Advertise a horror based D&D game. When the players get there let them know there will be no combat, no spells, home brew classes such as "athlete" and "scholar". Oh, and it's going to be set in modern times, there is no magic and you have your own skill based resolution system.

Too soon? :unsure:
Very much so.
 

Aebir-Toril

Is lukewarm on the Forgotten Realms
Bullet round: Excellent DM advice of the highest caliber.

1. Remember, magic items are a necessity. If each PC doesn't have at least 5 magic items by level 3, you'rem game is already un-fun, wrong, and boring.

2. Don't use any of the monsters made by WotC, even when you don't know how to homebrew monsters yet. Balance is an illusion.

3. Reward Inspiration for bringing snacks.

4. Slave away as a DM without a thought to enjoying the game, playing in a setting you hate, until you're filled with rage and self-loathing.

5. Never use game aids like miniatures or graphs. The Orc is always simultaneously within range and not within range.
 
Always stick to the letter of the RaW.

Give yourself plenty of time for RPing by running just one encounter per session, that's plenty of excitement - and keep bookkeeping simple by assuming a long rest between each session.
 

CleverNickName

Limit Break Dancing
Don't bother asking for specific ability checks. Just let the players tell you which checks they want to make, no matter how far-fetched or improbable.

Also, the game assumes that every attack roll is always made with Advantage and therefore the rogue is always sneak attacking. It's called "bounded accuracy," look it up, sheesh.
 
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jmartkdr2

Villager
It's vitally important that you commit every rule in every core rulebook to memory before you even contemplate running a session. If you're not word-perfect on all three books, you will not be able to run a single tavern encounter well. Never, under any circumstances, allow players to tell you the rules for their characters or otherwise take up any of the effort of running the game. You should and must know everything.
 

Eltab

Adventurer
Never use the same monster twice; it's boring. Even if the campaign theme is "Rise of Dragons" there should only be one dragon in the whole world. If the PCs kill it, it's gone.
 

DEFCON 1

Legend
Do not use ANY D&D material from previous editions of the game. You wait until Wizards of the Coast re-prints it for 5E! Nothing in the game is valid and worthwhile until some rando in the D&D department vets it by cutting and pasting the material into a new book first.
 

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