Removing yourself from a gaming group

[Halivar]

Their version of play was a open the book and fight this one, then go 10' down the corridor (turn page in Monster Manual) and fight this one.

Hrmm... first level 1 encounter is... an aboleth. Must have been a short game.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

I learned that the other party members were conspiring to kill my character.

Kill them all and take their stuff. Then I'd advice you and your DM to kick them out and get some proper players.

 

[Davelozzi]

Usually, my regular groups (in which I am the DM) are all made up of friends that are friends from outside gaming. Some players have left for various reasons, mostly it's really not their thing anymore or some get annoyed by one of my other players who has a tendency to be the loudest in the room. It's never been a big deal, they retire their character, stop playing, and we all continue be friends in real life.

The only time I left a group in which I was a player was the one time that I joined a group of total strangers who had advertised for players. I had graduated from college and most of my friends were not living nearby so I was jonesing for a group. The DM was cool enough, and it seems like he would've run a great game with a different group, but the other players were immature; farting at the table was commonplace, and a few of the players were more concerned with their characters getting laid than anything else. I think I played three sessions but quickly realized that I was spending the time waiting for it to end. I called the DM and thanked him for his game, but told him that I didn't really have time to participate anymore, citing that it was taking more time than I expected away from me prepping stuff for the game I was running for my regular group (which wasn't really that true). Anyhow, I'm not sure whether or not he realized that it was his friends that were the real reason, but he was cool about it and we parted on good terms, though I've had no interaction with him since. I also cited the long commute as part of the issue; it wouldn't have been a deal-breaker otherwise, but it definitely was a contributing factor.

 

[Maldin]

When I started grad school at a new university, I joined a group, DMed by a fellow grad, already in progress. My character was basically an arcane archer (although this was 1E, back before anything like that ever became common... the 2E rule books hadn't even been released yet). The DM's wife was playing a barbarian, and she took the whole "mistrust magic" thing way too seriously. Nevermind that there was a wizard already in the party. Or that it was just a game we were supposed to have fun in. She decided that her character wouldn't like my character, so an hour after my new player joined the group, she hauled off and killed him... while the rest of the party looked on. I was stunned. That particularly game didn't really proceed much farther then that. What the DM's wife wanted, the DM's wife got. I really wasn't interested in playing in that sort of game.

We eventually started two other games, one I DM'd, another was DM'd by the other player in the group. Neither of those games went too far either, mainly because we all graduated and moved away. She rarely played in those.

The husband and wife team were two of the most stubborn people I've known. A few years later they got divorced.

Denis, aka "Maldin"
Maldin's Greyhawk http://melkot.com

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

Long story short, my MU killed all of them bar the Druid who took no offensive action against my MU. I took all their stuff.

The one player (who started the pc fight) gets irate and I find myself being told to leave the appartment. The DM follows me out and apologizes saying he had never seen the players behave that way. I was baffled by the entire experience.

INEXCUSABLY Bad Form to invite someone to a game and then play "Gank the New Guy!" as a welcome-to-the-club gesture.

I like to think I might have gone back to give them a polite discourse on gaming ettiquette, but since I'm such an easygoing and tolerant sort, ANY situation where I've been asked to leave would be so... baffling is a good word... that I'd be too stunned.

 

[smootrk]

In relatively recent times I participated in a group that I thoroughly enjoyed. There were minor issues, but nothing that really spoiled the overall game. Unfortunately due to new job (with graveyard hours and a change in sleeping patterns), a particularly difficult college course, and other miscellaneous time constraints, I felt the need to bow out. I contacted the others in the group to give notice of my intentions. For the most part I received the cold shoulder... I don't even get responses from my emails, despite my attempts to keep communication going (with a few exceptions from a couple of the group's members)... and believe me, I try to be as friendly as possible with all my attempts.

They all seemed a bit better than that, and I never expected that from them, but oh well. Maybe things will change for the better in the future.

 

[Lanefan]

Right. I'm more concerned about secrets within the game group. You want your rogue to do something that my paladin doesn't know about, fine. Why you the player and the DM need to keep that secret from me, the player, is what I take issue with.

Because what the character shouldn't know the player shouldn't know either. Saves all that messy business of worrying about players using knowledge their charactersd wouldn't or shouldn't have... If I'm not what you think I am (e.g. you think I'm a rogue but I'm in fact an assassin) and-or I'm hatching plots against things your paladin holds dear (e.g. I'm planning a heist on your deity's temple) then damn right I'm passing notes! Either that, or I'm getting together with the DM out-of-session to do this but not all DM's are cool with that, or have time.

What prevents you from taking the piece of paper with your PC's game stats on it? Does the DM keep your sheet locked in a box or something?

DM always keeps character sheets...it just makes sense that way.

Why should someone who's unhappy playing with the group have to navigate some sort of in-game narrative in order to physically leave the group? Isn't the onus on the remaining members to create an in-game reason for your PC's removal, assuming they even care about explaining it?

I apologize for being a stickler on this point. But an in-game approach to solving a very out-of-game problem seems bass-ackwards to me.

You're assuming the departure is acrimonious. I'm not. If I'm unable to stay in the game due to outside conflicts e.g. work schedule, then I'm out. But isn't it only sheer courtesy to try and arrange things in-game as best as possible to reflect this?

And if the departure *is* acrimonious, so much the better. Role-play your way out, then just decline to bring in another character if offered the chance.

Lanefan

 

[Mallus]

Because what the character shouldn't know the player shouldn't know either. Saves all that messy business of worrying about players using knowledge their characters wouldn't or shouldn't have...

Trust also works in these situations. And that saves the messy business of constantly having to read hastily-scribbled notes in atrocious handwriting, or scurrying out the room for private discussions.

 

[Lanefan]

Trust also works in these situations. And that saves the messy business of constantly having to read hastily-scribbled

and badly-spelled

notes in atrocious handwriting, or scurrying out the room for private discussions.

Perhaps, but I've seen *far* too many instances of players abusing information their characters don't have. Or worse, when someone goes off alone to scout and it's not done by note, other players lobbing in suggestions as to what the scout shoudl do next...it got to the point where I had to rule that any action suggested by a non-involved player immediately became a banned action...sigh. Me, I prefer the cloak-and-dagger stuff, both as player and DM.

Lanefan

 

[Mallus]

Or worse, when someone goes off alone to scout and it's not done by note, other players lobbing in suggestions as to what the scout shoudl do next...it got to the point where I had to rule that any action suggested by a non-involved player immediately became a banned action...sigh.

Whatever works is cool, but that 'sigh' bit suggests to me that what your group is doing isn't working all that smoothly.

My group 'lobs suggestions' to each other all the time, including making ruthless suggestions for what my NPC's can do to them (thanks, shilsen!), and it doesn't detract from anyone's enjoyment. Do you think it makes the game too easy if the players share metagame information? Because they are a lot of ways to challenge PC's, even if they act in concert.