D&D 5E Requiring players to know their character

[FreeTheSlaves]

I've had this problem before, quite recently too. I've noted several causes:

1. Not establishing minimal expectation of system mastery.
2. Letting casual players make complex characters.
3. Allowing phone character sheets.
4. Player using forum 'power-builds' in a game where all 3 pillars get equal emphasis.
5. Player discounting DM advice.

This resulted in a slow-playing underpowered character who didn't use half their story features. That player had the least fun.

As for level advancement. It only gets worse. Adding another level just piles on and compounds the problem. I wonder if this is part the reason why campaigns collapse and start again?

 

[BookBarbarian]

See, this is a perfect case of a system switch potentially helping. Your wife clearly enjoys playing an RPG and puts effort into it. Right there makes your wife at the very least a good RPG player. But she is struggling with the system. There are great systems out there that would allow her to play more swiftly and have more fun.

The rules are there to enhance your fun, not be an obstacle to it. I suggest a B/X clone, the GLOG or Troika!

Absolutely though we would have to get the core group of friends we play with to make the same switch, or find a different group to play with, potentially a large process of trial and error.

Weighing the cost of either of those options vs. just playing with the people we like to play with and making some allowances, we decided to go with the latter.