Some of you have seen Peter's "Evil Overlord List" from 1996-97. It's "The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" such as "Shooting is not too good for my enemies." If you've not read it before, it may help you make your opponents-for-adventurers more effective. It seems only fair that a similar list should exist for the heroes.
This idea came to me after watching a Shannara Chronicles episode where Our Heroes had the leader and chief motivator of an enemy organization unconscious in their hands. They needed to escape the enemy fortress, but a couple were in bad shape from torture, so there was no way to take the leader along. Did any of the five think to "off" him on the spot? No, and 10 minutes later he was leading more of his men as the heroes were trying to complete their escape. This is SO like television (and movies).
Many from the Evil list are just as good for the Goodguys, but for copyright reasons I do not include them. (The Evil list includes technology; I'm sticking with fantasy.)
Just as the Evil Overlord list is (in one sense) an admonition for those who play/control dominating Evil characters, my list is intended as an admonition/guideline for those who play Good characters. Even in the days when most D&Ders were wargamers, the standard of tactical and strategic play in D&D was quite low. Simple things such as security around a camp, running away from a fight when it served no purpose within the context of what the party was trying to do, taking prisoners to gather intelligence – most parties didn’t (and still don’t) do it. As more non-gamers joined the hobby, the standard has tended to slip further.
Not taking prisoners, especially, was striking. I remember arranging “cutting out” expeditions designed to capture a guard (using invisibility, flight, and the like outdoors) so that we could “squeeze him ‘til the pips squeak” for information using ESP and other magic that assured we got full reliable information. Of course, there are GMs who absolutely refuse to let the players gain any information this way . . .
More commonly nowadays, players don’t have the patience for good tactics and especially for good strategy. And GMs who impose a story on the game, don’t want to lose control by letting players gain information in an unanticipated way.
Both lists are intended to be amusing, though I am no comedian and figure you folks will come up with more amusing admonitions. Sometimes an amusing phrase will sink into a player’s brain where something more straightforward might not. Depends on the player.
This article was contributed by Lewis Pulsipher (lewpuls) as part of EN World's Columnist (ENWC) program.We are always on the lookout for freelance columnists! If you have a pitch, please contact us!
This idea came to me after watching a Shannara Chronicles episode where Our Heroes had the leader and chief motivator of an enemy organization unconscious in their hands. They needed to escape the enemy fortress, but a couple were in bad shape from torture, so there was no way to take the leader along. Did any of the five think to "off" him on the spot? No, and 10 minutes later he was leading more of his men as the heroes were trying to complete their escape. This is SO like television (and movies).
Many from the Evil list are just as good for the Goodguys, but for copyright reasons I do not include them. (The Evil list includes technology; I'm sticking with fantasy.)
- I will not split the party.
- A foolhardy act is a brave act which fails. I will not be foolhardy.
- When I capture one of my chief enemies, and cannot take them to prison, I will thoroughly kill them on the spot. (Shannara Chronicles)
- If it's impractical to "bring the Evil Overlord to justice", I'll kill them on the spot. I AM justice, when Necessary.
- I will burn to fine ashes any powerful enemy I kill, whenever possible.
- One of my advisers will be non-military, non-adventurer, maybe even non-adult; they'll notice flaws in my plans that no one else will.
- I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them (from the Evil list . . .).
- I will run away to fight another day, rather than die futilely.
- I will not fight "just for the experience". Focus on the Objective!
- I will take and interrogate prisoners rather than Slaughter Everyone.
- I will never think I'm invincible/indestructible.
- I will have backup plans.
- I will have backups of items that I need to defeat the Evil Overlord.
- I will also find the Evil Overlord's children/siblings, and if they're Evil, kill them.
- Lawful Evil is not trustworthy.
- I will not allow Evil characters to join my party.
- This is a War, not Sport. I will kill the Evil bastards any way I can.
- When I capture a beautiful minion of the Evil Overlord, I will not believe she's so attracted to my good looks and purity that she will gladly betray her Lord. (If I'm female, same applies to handsome male minions.)
- While escaping I will not pause to make some wise-crack to the enemy.
- If my advisers/friends think my plan is bad, I will listen to them.
- My guards/prison wardens will always operate in pairs. If one goes missing the other will immediately raise the alarm.
- I will imprison enemies in widely separated places, whenever possible.
- I will take my enemies alive only where it is practical.
- I will not immediately believe an enemy who says they have Seen the Light and are changing sides.
- When the big fight is about to start, I will think about all my items and capabilities to find something especially useful.
- I will never accept a challenge from an enemy leader.
- The only good orc, is a dead orc. (Or other Evil race.)
- I will not split the party!
Just as the Evil Overlord list is (in one sense) an admonition for those who play/control dominating Evil characters, my list is intended as an admonition/guideline for those who play Good characters. Even in the days when most D&Ders were wargamers, the standard of tactical and strategic play in D&D was quite low. Simple things such as security around a camp, running away from a fight when it served no purpose within the context of what the party was trying to do, taking prisoners to gather intelligence – most parties didn’t (and still don’t) do it. As more non-gamers joined the hobby, the standard has tended to slip further.
Not taking prisoners, especially, was striking. I remember arranging “cutting out” expeditions designed to capture a guard (using invisibility, flight, and the like outdoors) so that we could “squeeze him ‘til the pips squeak” for information using ESP and other magic that assured we got full reliable information. Of course, there are GMs who absolutely refuse to let the players gain any information this way . . .
More commonly nowadays, players don’t have the patience for good tactics and especially for good strategy. And GMs who impose a story on the game, don’t want to lose control by letting players gain information in an unanticipated way.
Both lists are intended to be amusing, though I am no comedian and figure you folks will come up with more amusing admonitions. Sometimes an amusing phrase will sink into a player’s brain where something more straightforward might not. Depends on the player.
This article was contributed by Lewis Pulsipher (lewpuls) as part of EN World's Columnist (ENWC) program.We are always on the lookout for freelance columnists! If you have a pitch, please contact us!
