Hmm... ok, this kind of works for me... So the result would be that things outside the bubble viewed through the bubble are slightly dimmed, but not enough to count as lightly obscured. Things in the bubble are completely black, but have a soft dark “aura” around them, heavily obscuring them and causing them to look like a sort of dark blob rather than a clear silhouette. I imagine this would also cause them to block line of sight and grant partial cover to creatures and objects on the other side.
Solid creatures and objects in the area can’t be illuminated, no, but the area can be, given that light passing through it has only a small chance of being absorbed.
I think this interpretation works, though it does still require ignoring the “the darkness can’t be illuminated” line, or at least creatively interpreting the word “illuminated.” But I can at least imagine what it would look like, and it seems like it could reasonably produce the effects it’s supposed to.