Romance in Roleplaying

[Tulon]

Totally agree with Elf Witch.

I have to add, that most players are relatively shy when it comes for romance in p&p, especially when they just started to get to know each other. That might change with time, or just if someone makes "the first step", so it could be helpful for the DM to initiate a romance by using an NPC. However, I for myself would'nt like if the DM keeps too much on pushing characters into that kind of relationship. Additionally, I prefer romances between player characters, since the DM can not (and should not) always play that NPC as he has to keep the other characters busy as well - and related characters tend to stick together, thus leaving the other members of the party aside more or less often.

The most and best romances I had were in online rpg-focussed games like Ultima Online or Neverwinter Nights (both at custom shards, since official servers are in my opinion more hack&slay than rpg).
Lately, my squire started writing poems and bard-songs for a baron's wife he came to know as a good friend - for him it is right now just practicing, somehow part of his training to become a knight someday ... but for her it could be that she sees things different (I just wait for the day the baron - also a PC - finds out...). The romance here - if by any chance it actually is one - is usually quite funny to just watch, since both of them do not act as serious as they maybe should when they are around together.
On the other hand, I've got my rogue (some kind of spy/thief/mercenary-mix), who usually does not stay long with another character - though there are exceptions to which she returns from time to time, but always staying independent. Here, "romances" are more like short-term and sometimes repeated "team up's" between her and one she finds either attractive - or one she can gain something from.

So - as you can see I do not have experience with the classical long-term romance in the original meaning of the word, but know a lot of people who do. I can say, it definetively "rounds up" the game (does'nt even matter which type of romance), able in providing both drama, fun and also a bit realism. The most important thing is just to never let the romance be more than a "side-note" in playing. When characters start focussing too much on each other (happens a lot in MMORPG), it could completely ruin the mood if happening in an inapropiate situation.

 

[Babette]

How many people have played in games that had in-character romances?
Were they inter-character or between PCs and NPCs? Did it affect how players interacted? Do you think a game with out it is unrealistic, or do you consider it bringing more real-life into the game then you want? How have boy/girlfriends/spouses reacted when they heard about it?

My own experience is limited, but I do wonder how my BF would react if one of the other male player's character started hitting on mine.

my amazon character use to get hit on a lot...i found it annoying and romances were a problem as far as they became a problem or a handy tool for evil...

my ex bf at the time had no prob.

so generally it depends??

 

[Silver Moon]

We've been gaming for over two decades, and fifteen years of character time have gone by, so it would have actually been odd for their to have NOT been some romance in their lives. I can see how you would need to have a group who are comfortable with each other, so that everyone will realize that the romantic situations are in game only. I currently have two characters who are married. One is a male and married to one of my wife's playing characters. The other is a female and is married to the character of another male player. Several other players have characters with ongoing relationships, and many of the PC's and NPC's now have children. However, I will point out that nothing explicit takes place at the table, implied but always "off screen".

 

[Cor Azer]

I enjoy when romance happens in my games, becuase it shows at least a small amount of interest in the game by the players than juts kill the bad guys, take the loot.

In my last several games, I've had:
- A PC married to an NPC before the game started. They had a child during the course of the game.
- Two PCs fall for each other - a chivalric paladin and a slightly shady bard (the paladin overlooks her less than savory past)
- A PC cleric whose potential girlfriend disappeared with a rival NPC cleric who may have turned to evil in his backstory.
- An arranged marriage between a PC and NPC... and the two have since fallen for each other. They have a child on the way.
- A male PC fall for a rather strong willed and kind female ruler (I didn't plan on having her getting involved with a PC, but it works).
- A lesbian PC (played by a lesbian, in case people wonder if it's just guy having juvenile fantasies) romancing another NPC woman believed to be lesbian (again, unintended by me, but I let the PC run with it).
- A romance was budding between another PC and an NPC - she wanted him, and he wanted her, but he rebuffed her for a long time because of pain in his backstory. Shortly after he got over that pain, she died... leading to a great story arc

I've never really noticed any problems arising from such things, but I also use the 'fade to black' stuff if anything intimate is on theverge of happening, so that makes thigns a lot easier.

Like I said before, I like that my PCs are forging relationship with the NPCs in the world, as it strengths the versimilitude of the campaign.

 

[Nine Hands]

It all depends on the player and the game. In my epic D&D game (composed entirely of elves), there are relationships everywhere. I figured that if one character wanted it, I would test the waters and people are jumping in like crazy. Now I have pregnant and love sick elves everywhere. Its interesting. One guy is in love with both an NPC and a PC. Neither of them really love him. Its pretty interesting.

In the Robotech game I play in, my character is a hopeless romantic, so she is ALWAYS trying to find love for those around her. This means that the squadron as a whole tends to have relationships everywhere. Since it is Robotech, some of them are messy love triangles. For example, she has a jealous ex-PC lover. The guy quit the game so he became a complete jerk. She is currently dating this "super spy guy", he's very dedicated to his job and they match perfectly. Also one of her squadmates a Zentraedi is in love with her but will never say anything. Even though this group is entirely composed of men, we do a pretty good job with the relationship side of things. I hit my wife up for ideas every now and then. Between the wierd love triagles we actually get involved in fights with the remainder of the Zentraedi Grand Fleet and roleplay other stuff too

 

[ergeheilalt]

I play in a game that had five players for the longest time. There were two couples and my character got to be the odd man out

The first couple was the male human Paladin and the female human Bard. They had taken a vow from a book where they could speak with eachother telepathically or somesuch because of their supreme love (perfect place for the rolleyes). It became sort of a problem, as when they retired for the night they went into a sort of love trance and could not be woken up.

The other couple was an female fighter/rogue elf and a male monk/cleric aasimar with quite apparent celestial heritage (Outsider Wings - RoF). They were an interesting couple. Each took their turn being angsty and whinney. Last week's game was a bit more romantic, as the aasimar character is being retired for playability reasons.

Was it a good idea? I don't see why not. Did it improve the game any? Not for me. Did it contribute to any new plot hooks? Not yet, but I could see it happening in the future.

Erge

 

[Rabelais]

Romance

I'm currently playing in a campaign that's featured a romantic relationship between Elven nobles. As "homework" I've worked up a bunch of in character love letters to my wife. It's played a significant role in drawing out the relationships between PC's and the NPC's of my GM's world.

My game group is half female, so I've been able to share my letters without the standard "Dude, this is so GAAAAYYYYYY" stuff. It's worked out pretty well.


And since you asked...



My Beloved Mademoiselle,

It has been several weeks since I have allowed myself the luxury of writing to you. A luxury because the Jungle is a jealous mistress that allows no thoughts save for herself. Surviving the jungle has been my sole occupation. To while the time away I imagine my next composition, to perfect my words to do justice to the emotion I feel so constantly when I am away from you. I have written these letters in my mind so many times, I have but to remember, and write them down. I commit my heart’s feelings to paper and the jungle seems less gloomy and the dangers more endurable. These feelings are keenly felt when I allow myself to dwell upon them. They make for pleasant companions.

Your letter to me was like water for a parched soul. That my feelings are reciprocated fills me with a joy I can scarcely describe. My companions must think me a besotted fool since reading your letter. I have but to show them the locket that you sent to me for them to understand just a small portion of the reason why I love you. Your beauty amazes me. I have but to look at your picture and remember the delicacy of your touch. I can close my eyes and imagine your laugh like that of spun glass. You are a cool breeze on my skin, a rain shower after a drought. I long to be in your presence again.
Thank you for your offer to look into the matter of my brother. Aside from you there are no people closer to my heart than my siblings. You would be doing me a great service if you could keep an eye on my younger brother and sister. I would not be able to bear it if they were to come to some harm from one of my enemies seeking to strike at what I hold dear. This holds doubly true when it comes to you my love. I know how capable you are of taking care of yourself, but I still worry for you. I thank Tymora that you were able to evade Reynard’s clutches. Abou Benishak has been a good friend to the Realmwalkers, I’m thankful that his beneficence extends to loved ones. If you ever need an extra set of eyes and ears in Suzail I would suggest contacting Quinn. He is a good friend, and capable of fitting in places where a fluffy headed young Marquise dare not tread.

Our travels in Chult go very well. Your letter reached me at the base of Pele, the great mountain of Chult. You may remember from my last letter that our guide had taken a melancholy turn after visiting the Amazon village. Shortly before we reached Pele I discovered why. Our guide learned that lizard men had kidnapped a young girl from the village during a raid. It was not unusual for this tribe to kidnap children as a sacrifice to their god. They worshipped a shadow creature in the form of a great green dragon. With great effort Moondrake was able to pierce the illusion surrounding the shadow-creature. With its illusion dispelled, the creature was destroyed easily, and the child rescued. We investigated the lair of the creature only to discover who the true master of the area was, an enormous Red Dragon by the name of Abraxus. I have faced no creature more terrible than Abraxus. The gigantic beast was a combination of lethal intelligence and primal wrath.

The battle itself is but a blur in my mind. Ulfgar managed to trap the creature by embedding it in living rock. If he had not created that simple trap the dragon would have swept us away like so many tin soldiers. Once again he has proven himself a hero. I can only confess that I was afraid. I have faced the Dragon, and I have stared into its teeth, I have been innocent of true fear. I am no longer innocent of it. I can take solace in the fact that I survive, that I faced my fear and was not broken by it. Victory was never sweeter, but the fire is something that will haunt me in my dreams until the day I die. The Dragon wields a weapon that is alive. There’s no way to describe the terror of being enveloped in Dragon breath. The flame is a liquid rush of fury. The flame is anger and it is malice. The flame is hateful and it consumes. I will take the memory of being swallowed by it to my grave.

The battle was frightening and terrible, and it was only through our faith in each other and in ourselves that we emerged with our lives. I have no wish to worry you with grisly tales of battle and hardship, forgive me. There are better stories to tell. Let the bards sing of great deeds. Let me share a happier moment.

I have heard stories about the wealth concealed in dragon lairs, great beasts asleep on vast piles of gold and gems. This could not have been farther from reality. Abraxus’ lair resembles a museum more than anything else. There were priceless paintings by the great masters of antiquity. There were statues and jewelry, as well as ancient pieces of Dwarven armor. A young Elven slave named Lorelei kept the dragon’s lair immaculately clean. She may be the most remarkable recovery from the entire lair. She remembers nothing of her old life, or where she is from. She has every appearance of being under some sort of enchantment but neither Moondrake nor I can detect any magical effect about her. She is very tall and slender, Regal in carriage, approximately 100 years old, but she strikes me as being a great deal older than that. Her eyes are like that of a storm; they flow from blue to gray and back again. It is not a trait of any of the Elven royal families I am aware of, but it still tickles the back of my mind like something in a story read long ago. Amusingly, she seems to have taken a shine to Moondrake. Amity conceals her pique from no one, but denies it strenuously nonetheless. It reminds me of some petty court intrigue, it is strangely comforting; it makes me a tad homesick.

From here we intend to travel along the path to the summit. Pele is an active volcano, but apparently the gateway to our destination lies within the caldera. If it is anything like the other gateways I anticipate a large, impossibly sturdy, ornately designed door. If nothing else these last two years, I have become a connoisseur of Dwarven architecture. We have had no sight or sign of the Drow along our path to Pele. I can only assume that they are far behind us. I hope that we can discover the solution to this puzzle and move on to our next destination.

We have moved the Dragon’s treasure into a small chamber near the entrance to the Dragon’s lair. Our guide Jost will seek out the beast of burden we recently set free to see if we can move some of these statues to Mesro to be shipped to the Realmwalkers’ villa in Blazingdell. I agree the White Riders are remarkable. It makes me wonder what we did without them.

I am afraid that this beautiful interlude must end. Jost holds the carrier falcon as we speak. I must bid you adieu for now. I love you; your love for me sustains me. I shall write to you as soon as is possible. Until then you shall dwell in my heart.

I remain your most ob’t svn’t,
K

 

[Ssyleia]

I have found that romance in RPG is a very delicate members. There are a few roleplayers I have met over the day that really like to elaborate on their character's personal life and naturally feel that romance is a part of it. All female players I have played with over the time were among those.

Most player's, howerver, don't particularly care about it and I'd say as much as half of all role players even have a problem with it. I have even seen twice that an in-play character to character advance was mistaken for a real-world advance. Unfortunately that is the kind of incidence that destroys gaming groups or even friendships :-(

In summary I'd say, it depends on the consistence of the group whether to include romance in an rpg. Unless I know my gaming group very well I leave it out to avoid potential complications...

 

[S'mon]

I can't say I've ever seen, in real life, players who had a problem with there being _any_ romance in-game, but then I've never seen players who had a problem with cross-gender characters, except here on ENWorld, which is a great place for opening one's eyes to the great diversity of roleplayers out there!
From the posts here it seems to be in only the all-male groups where this no-romance and (usually) no-cross gender thing comes up. I don't think it's an age thing, in my (straight!) male RPG group in secondary school in Belfast, Northern Ireland, it certainly never occurred to us to have a problem with either. Mostly it seems to be an American thing, from what I've seen so far.

 

[James Heard]

I've used romance occassionally to varying effect before in my games. There's been the occassional PC-PC, usually between players of the opposite sex though the genders might be the opposite of the players once or twice. When it's a guy and girl the situation seems to be a bit more planned in the "wouldn't it be cool if Pack the Barbarian and Esmerelca the Halfling got googly?" sort of way. The two female player thing seems to work too. Two guys though, it's like watching a train wreck happening in slow motion where everyone knows it's inevitable but everyone is still cringing. Of course, there's been exceptions to that rule too when some of our homosexual friends were playing - I think it's the ability to not wince when you're delivering the lines.

More successful in the long run seems to be the NPC-PC arrangements, which have ranged from the GM deciding to play up the fact that my perky minor noble female paladin that I was playing obviously had a really attractive CHA score by tossing lovestruck suitor after lovestruck suitor after her (after a while I was thinking of inventing D&D mace for walking home from the castle) to the guy who begged all of us fellow players not to steal his NPC fiance after we decided sort of subconciously that his character need more angst and started getting her drunk and setting her up with all the dwarves we knew in bars. That was about as funny as it sounds.

I think most of my games I run personally don't really foster love interests though. It's probably me, I'll let someone go with it if they initiate but it usually comes to a horrible gut-wrenching end and the players have probably picked up on it by now. Most of the games I run can quickly plunge into BoVD material in the interest of um...interest. Loved ones just aren't safe. I've been known to tell my players that they have to have brothers and sisters and wives and husbands in character creation just so "I have someone to die and make you have more reasons to battle evil". Hey, it worked for Batman.