RPG/D&D terms and phrases that are no longer clever or amusing.

[Pants]

• 3.$ - Almost as ridiculous as T$R. Although to be truthful, if I'm going to start using the term 3.$ then I have to start using T$R. Might as well be honest and fair, no?
• Poke-Paladin/Poke-Mount - Old, lame, and not in any way funny or remotely accurate. Sorry, but until the Paladin has to shout out "I choose you..." and carries around his mount in a little ball, this term only makes the vaguest of sense. Almost as if he who created the term said, "I don't like this ability, it's lame! I know, I'll give it a vaguely demeaning name that only makes the slightest bit of sense! Rock on!"
• Anything vaguely involving someone saying '4th Edition' is right around the corner. It's especially annoying when posters say it is a fact when they have no facts to back up their silly claims. 'OMG, 4th edtion is liek so coming uot in liek 4 motnhs bcuz woct r a bunch of suets and tehy want al of our moeny. Tihs is liek so troo.' Did time machines suddenly get invented when I wasn't looking? Did they get loaned out to the people with the worst typing skills in the world and was their only purpose to prove or disprove the existence of 4th edition 6 months from now? If so, then damn me for being wrong... again.
• Wilderninja - See above.
• Broken/shaft/nerfed/munchkin/etc - This went out of style 2 days after 3e was released.
• Turd Edition - I don't see anyone going around saying 'Suckend Edition blows.' Thankfully, this one is almost gone. Oh wait, I was going to popularize the use of Suckend Edition! Damn my hypocrisy!
• Buckle Fetish/Spike Fetish - Okay, I don't like these either. If these terms apply to 3e art, then I guess the terms 'afro fetish' and 'poorly drawn crap fetish' apply to 2nd and 1st edition art as well.

 

[SylverFlame]

deadboydex and pants, I agree on basically every front. Good-aligned drow though, come on, I enjoy using them as the centre piece of the demon's banquet. Tie'em up, put an apple in their mouth and cook slowly. See? They do have a purpose.

 

[Dark Jezter]

• Poke-Paladin/Poke-Mount - Old, lame, and not in any way funny or remotely accurate. Sorry, but until the Paladin has to shout out "I choose you..." and carries around his mount in a little ball, this term only makes the vaguest of sense. Almost as if he who created the term said, "I don't like this ability, it's lame! I know, I'll give it a vaguely demeaning name that only makes the slightest bit of sense! Rock on!"

My thoughts exactly. In fact, that's the reason I created this thread.

 

[Darkness]

Turd Edition - I don't see anyone going around saying 'Suckend Edition blows.' Thankfully, this one is almost gone.

Similarly, '3etard'. Doesn't see much use in EN World anyway but still.

 

[rounser]

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Originally Posted by Pants

Poke-Paladin/Poke-Mount - Old, lame, and not in any way funny or remotely accurate. Sorry, but until the Paladin has to shout out "I choose you..." and carries around his mount in a little ball, this term only makes the vaguest of sense. Almost as if he who created the term said, "I don't like this ability, it's lame! I know, I'll give it a vaguely demeaning name that only makes the slightest bit of sense! Rock on!"

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My thoughts exactly. In fact, that's the reason I created this thread.

Alright, just for you guys, some alternatives:

Houdini Horse
Cameo Colt
Instant Mount (Just add water!)
Teleporting Ride
Deus Ex Machina Donkey
Mountinator T3.5000 ("I'll be back.")

 

[Vocenoctum]

Since we are talking about it - the paladin can only summon her/his mount for x hours a day. What does s/he ride the rest of the time? That it probably my main issue with the "summon mount" idea. Does s/he keep a normal horse around for the rest of the time? Hitch a ride with the druid or ranger's animal companion? What?

A minor note, but it's 2 hours per level. He gains it at fifth level. If its a riding day, he gets 10 hours of riding. I like the idea, but that's because I like the paladin as a chosen holy warrior. I can see him getting a warhorse from the heavens. (though, can't call it a "celestial warhorse" since that's different.
By this point, most paladin's will be spellcasters anyway, so I don't think it alter's the class to give him the Call Mount ability.

I don't have any problem with a 3e paladin, but mine has a hipogriff, so he can handle himself when I'm not available. The rest of the party's mounts get left behind as well.

Oh, and when my cleric cast "summon monster", I called them Poke-badgers.

Main thing I hate is "nerf", not because the intent behind the term is wrong, but because it's just another way to bash 3.5 in most usage. There enough people disparaging 3.5 and Wizards intent behind it without having to overuse the term.

 

[Vocenoctum]

Instant Mount (Just add water!)

Insta Mount sounds best!

 

[Anabstercorian]

Deus Ex Machina Donkey

Ooh! Donkey Ex Machina! I like that.

 

[Wormwood]

Alright, just for you guys, some alternatives:

I prefer:
Empyrean Steed
Celestial Charger
Spiritual Guardian
Divine Sentinel

Not as knee-slapping funny as poke-mount, but they'll work for my game.

 

[Scarbonac]

Hate "munchkin"; it's a term used by one subset of nerdlingers to put down another subset of nerdlingers. Another thing I hate is the auto-dismissal of any non-statistical game-related information as "flavor text", the unspoken part being "because if it ain't got a number attached to it, screw it".

I will admit to liking "Pokemount", "Priests of the Coast", 3.$ and
"Wilderninja", though...