Share your most bizarre player stories from the gaming table.

[Virel]

Share your most bizarre player stories from the gaming table.

 

[Blue_Kryptonite]

I don't actually have any. My group is me, my wife, my sons, our best friend, and soon, their son. All our other occasional or former players were all friends from outside gaming before they played. We wouldn't play with random people without having hung out with and gotten to know them first.

 

[Whimsical]

Any thread talking about bizzare gaming stories would not be complete without reference to these classic Al Burno III stories:

The Day I Killed the Entire Party Before the First Combat Encounter

A Night At The Inn, A Day At The Racists

"Stick of Pain Lamont! Stick of Pain!"

 

[Virel]

I've ran into two sets of weird gamers.

Back in college, I ran into someone that who was in his mid-30's that played AD&D. After talking about the game for a while, I was invited to sit in on the next session. Quickly, a character was rolled up and the combat system which was a mix of Rolemaster and a long list of house rules was explained. To hit you only had to roll like six dice and another four or so for damage - hit location, penetration, critical, damage etc. After about two hours of sitting around and not getting to actually do anything the group took a break. While we were chatting the person that invited me started talking about of the blue about how he liked 13-15 year old girls because they were so pretty and how badly women aged after they turned 16. He got a little disturbed when I mentioned I didn't pay 13 girls much attention because they were still kids and I found females within a few years of my age (20)most attractive ie 18-22. He started to argue about how much pretty their fresh faces were at ~13 than at 20 or so and how I had to find the younger ones more attractive. I indicated that wasn't how I saw and it seemed a little odd to me that a 35 year old man would think 13-15 year girls were hot because they were so silly most of the time at that age they were difficult tolerate at times. He kept talking about how I had to agree with him. Then there was a very awakward silence when I told him I didn't agree with him. He became some what stand offish. I left the session shortly after it resumed. The DM wanted to know why I was leaving and I made some lame excuse. I decided the 35 year old was just too weird to associate with even for gaming in college.

Later word got out that I was running an 1st ed AD&D Campaign that was going well. There were around eleven regular players and quiet a few times we had around fourteen. Soon several groups were running on different nights etc. A guy from another dorm came by and wanted to know if he could join the game. He looked a little weird but sometimes gamers are like that you know. He was somewhat effeminate and had perm. This didn't click at the time as I was excited to talk about AD&D with another player whos his favorite class (at the time it was my favorite too). He mentioned his Illusionist were always female. I mentioned I had played an Illusionist that was a human female. Several of my regular players were there while the discussion was going on and they started snickering. At this point the player launched into a diatribe about how his female Illusionist's who were always Gnomes and rode sheep/goats etc into battle would cast Alter Reality and go back in time so they could commit incest with their parents and siblings. This allowed his characters to keep their blood lines pure. Before I could replay he eagerly pointed out his female Gnomish Illusionist were also lesbians but would do the deed with "exceptional" 1/2 orcs. My regular players erupted in laughter. He didn't understand what was funny. With a straight face I told him that character wouldn't be a good fit for my campaign. He wanted to know why! I explained that Gnomes had been exterminated in my Greyhawk setting. He understood and offer to play a 1/2ling and explained those too had been exterminated in my setting. He decided it must have been something about not wanting another female Illusionist around so he offered to play a gay Illusionist. I told they those had all been exterminated also just like the gnomes and 1/2lings etc. He left upset. The others were laughing themselves silly. Finally, when able to speak again one said, "You did know he is very gay didn't you?" I said no I didn't know that I just thought he was typical gamer but when he started talking about incest I knew I didn't want him as a player in my campaign.

 

[SuperFlyTNT]

There was this kid who wanted to have his own spells. He spent all sorts of time writing up spells and trying to convince me why his charecter (who I hated) should have them. His charecter was him-only a mage... this meant his charecters INT score was much higher than his in real life. It bothered me that he wanted to play himself in a campaign where everyone else was some sort of fantasy creature. After he bothered me for several sessions I finally allowed him to have the spell "Edwards Uncontrolable Defocation" He made a Baelor crap itself for three rounds. That campaign went straight to hell.

 

[Krieg]

While we were chatting the person that invited me started talking about of the blue about how he liked 13-15 year old girls because they were so pretty and how badly women aged after they turned 16.

Not much you can say to that, except that I hope he is locked up far far away.

A Night At The Inn, A Day At The Racists

You haven't lived until you've had a character go mad because he saw a nightgaunt sitting in a restroom stall reading a copy of the Necrnomicon.

That really needs to be a sig!

 

[Jamdin]

I had a new player run a male Hund (dog-like) character, which was a big mistake. He went into a tavern and crapped on a table with a bunch of Amazons seated around it. Of course, they were offended and should have killed him by all rights. Thanks to the luck of the dice (and, I suspect, a little cheating on his part), he ended up without one arm and one eye. He told me that he was playing "in character and the Amazons should never have attacked like that".

Needless to say that was the last time I played with him.

 

[SuperFlyTNT]

I had a new player run a male Hund (dog-like) character, which was a big mistake. He went into a tavern and crapped on a table with a bunch of Amazons seated around it. Of course, they were offended and should have killed him by all rights. Thanks to the luck of the dice (and, I suspect, a little cheating on his part), he ended up without one arm and one eye. He told me that he was playing "in character and the Amazons should never have attacked like that".

Needless to say that was the last time I played with him.

I've had a couple players like that, this one guy was a rogue and kept saying "I steal it" or "I backstab it" As a rule I make newer players play fighters. I always tell them to pay attention to how the other people are doing it. Some players though... they just dont get it.

 

[Turanil]

I fortunately didn't met people the like of Virel told us. I mean, especially the immature 35 years old guy who look after 13 years old girls.

The most "bizarre" for me have been:

-- A group of players who had mixed three different games together, with a complete nonsense game as a result. As far as I remember there was Runequest + AD&D spells + Rollmaster stuff creating PCs with totally clunky game mechanics. This was awful and I only played once with them. These players were cool, but I suspect they were addicted to marijuana, probably explaining how they came to such a kind of game.

-- A squatter. 15 years ago I was searching for a group of players, and thus put a message asking for new players on the relevant board in my FLGS. I met this guy, who seemed normal, plus two others. We had our first gaming session, but as it ended late, he told me that since he lived far away, it was too late for him to go back home. Well, being naive at this time, I did let him sleep in my appartment. The next day, speaking with him I learned that he seemed to have no fixed abode, but residing at friend's places and seemingly changing often. Fortunately he didn't call me back for a while. Then, one year later he calls me, and asks me about games, asks news, etc. I immediately lied to him, saying I had getting married and as a resut ceased to play AD&D. He didn't insist.