If the 18 DEX ninja is the same level, he will be more skilled, yes; but if there's a reasonable level disparity, that's not true; it also overlooks the fact that Hubert will have better ninja skills than others in the party who are not ninjas or similarly stealthy characters.He may well be, but if the player's having fun running a character who believes he's a commanding presence, and he gets lucky enough once in awhile to reinforce that belief, then who care if it's epic or not?
This I totally agree with. There's nothing saying that every character you play has to be great at what he does. Of course not.
And, yes, if the character tries to do something, and he's spent the character resources to let him succeed from time to time, GREAT. No harm no foul.
Let's stick with 3.5 D&D for a second. To use diplomacy to change someone's reaction from hostile to indifferent is DC 25 by RAW. Now, a 10 Cha, no ranks in diplomacy character can never succeed at that without some form of outside help (Aid Another perhaps, spells, whatever). But, by himself, he will never, ever succeed.
So, sure, you could try all you like. But, you're never going to succeed. So long as the player understands this and plays that, I'm perfectly happy.
My issue comes when the player gives the good talky and the DM starts ignoring the mechanics and giving auto-successes based on how well the player talks. The Low Cha, No Skills guy tries to stop a fight and succeeds when, by the rules, he never, ever should.
How is that making the stats matter?
In your example, TheShaman, the stats inform play. Hubert spends the character resources to be the best ninja he can be. So, while he's not better than the best ninja, he's still a ninja and will succeed some of the time. The cowardly marshal plays that fact - his hands shake, he acts a particular way (a bully for example) because of that Cowardly stat.
FANTASTIC. I would watch either character in play, pick up the character sheet and there would be no surprises.
Yes I would with the understand for certain things like traps or weapons that only effect a certain alignment I as the DM get the final judgement based on how the character is played on how if effects the character.
I had a player once say he wanted to play a character who thought he was lawful good but in reality was far from it. So on his character sheet he listed lawful good but he left it up to me to decided what his real alignment was if it came to items and other things.
Now, what do you do if the player disagrees? If the player didn't leave it up to you and insisted that he actually was LG?
Me, I just kinda ignored it to be honest. CN wasn't something that was going to be a problem in the game and I just didn't bother. But, good and evil comes up a LOT more in the game. Lots of effects trigger off of these alignments.
Do you over rule the player or not? And, if you do, isn't this forcing players to play a certain way?
IMO, if it's reached this point, there's been a failure already. This should have been discussed LONG before this point. Once it's gotten to the point where there is radical disagreement over interpretation, it's going to be a tangled mess to sort out.