D&D 5E Signs that you've been adventuring too long

[Lidgar]

25. You sport Vecna's eye, hand and big toe while wielding the Sword of Kas in your right hand and playing Heward's Mystical Organ with your left in Baba Yaga's Hut.

 

[Lanefan]

26. You've forgotten why you started adventuring in the first place.

 

[iserith]

27. Your 10-foot pole is worn down to a 1-foot stick.

 

[bedir than]

28 - what happens if I cast prestidigitation as a 9th level spell?

 

[Azurewraith]

34. Your the only living thing left on the in the entire multiverse
35. You want to die so badly but just cant you go back in time and murder your own parents

 

[Celtavian]

36. You pull out the Bloodstone Modules to run as a quick one shot you complete in one night.
37. Demon lords pay you to leave their plane.
38. You force balors to serve as your house servants and think nothing of it when guests come to visit.

 

[BoldItalic]

39. WotC hires you.
40. You hire WotC.

 

[dracomilan]

41. The Terrasque is your week-end mount.

 

[Uchawi]

After completing your wizard tower and creating a summer home in the seven heavens you decide your offspring should not lead such a complicated life, so you setup a fighter school.

 

[Arial Black]

44: When you need a new guy in your party you don't advertise, you just go to a tavern and you will meet a new guy with the perfect suite of abilities who is the same level as you and who you immediately trust with your life.

45: When you meet anyone else outside of civilisation, you kill them first before they can kill you, because anyone you do not kill will stab you in the back at an inconvenient moment.

Presumably, rules 44 and 45 must exist together to retain balance in the universe.